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Posts posted by tingeling

  1. Being in that room, being here and now, acknowledge and acceptance of own feelings around felt physical pain is to me not suffering and does not mean psychological suffering either, it is one of the chocolate pieces in life and it fascinates me how we can move from one room to another like that. It`s beautiful, CH has changed me and makes me want to be a better person :)

    Weatherman, that song was beatiful :) Thank you for sharing both thoughts and song :)

    Love and PFW to you all :)

    Hug from me


  2. Hi

    Once in awhile i think we all get some thoughts and feelings that are hard to describe. Once in awhile i find myself in a place where i get this feeling of something, life maybe, i don`t know. Life and death. Inside in that room i`m not sure how long i`m gonna live. Or more how long my head will last me. It seems to me allot of CH`ers get heart attack. Maybe from the triptans we used, but i`m not sure, i think maybe it`s one of the CH "system failures". When your full of all kinds of symptoms, and most of them are felt in the head i wonder is it a matter of time before the blood vessels are worn out from all the pressure? I ask myself if i will know the difference between a high kip and a stroke. When my head stops to work, when i cannot think or remember or find words or forget what i talk about, i'm thinking this must be close to dementia. My brain feels unhealthy in some way. Then i feel tired, like i`m tired of living, i get the feeling i won`t live to be an old woman. Or will CH go away some day, just vanish? Most likely not. Lying like this, looking at my condition, everything feels so far far away. Can i do it, can life continue year after year like this? Life feels fragile, like it can slip away anytime. And it can, that is a fact. I tell myself that we cannot control these things. One time i read a blog about this little girl, she had epilepsy, a very difficult case, she couldn't go to school, basically she`s so sick she`s in a hospital bed all day long. That`horrible and unfair. My situation is not, actually it is the opposite. Fell asleep, woke up and felt like sharing my feelings with people who understand what a condition might bring on you once in awhile, with the only persons i know that visit the same room from time to time. I get up, make myself ready for a new day and the thoughts and feelings are left in that room, feels far far way. A short visit and we move on, like it didn't happen. Life is a mystery.

    Forrest Gump said his mother told him that life was like a box of chocolate. Sure is, every bit do not taste the same but their all part of life.

    I wish you all a wonderful day. How lucky we are :)

    I`m grateful for my life and what it brings :)

    Allot of love and hugs from me


  3. I use ZMA as well, in shorter periods. Does something good, i agree :)

    Heilette, in the beginning i used it 12 min, now i use 6 min. I use it when i eat breakfast, around 7.30 in the morning. Hope your doing well ;)

    They do treat migrain with this and have good results as well. Norway and Finland, none of us have much sun, so it`s good just for energy and mood elevation. CH steal energy as well so def worth it :)

  4. Sad sad news.... I never met him in person, but trough the board when i first joined CB and later emails i got to know him as a very helpful man with great knowledge and a big heart.

    It was good to read what PhilW wrote about Carl, it tells about a great man in a very loving way. Thank you.

    Rest in peace Carl


  5. Went to the mountains in the rain today with some friends.  Doc insists i can do triptans (OMG!!), but he do think this is heart cramp thing comes from triptans, but "just" side effects like he says. So if he tells me i can do more triptans, i can certainly go for a run. So yeah, i did and i was fine. I will just stay away from any stimulants like caffeine, Red Bull etc, it brings on more chest pain and make me dizzy, nausea and gives me s little  fever. But it was ok today with a short run. 

    I truly think this is just my time to go completely away from stuff like Red Bull etc., simply because i might be able to do so. Why not, time will show :)

    Gardening is therapeutic, never tried outdoor cause of heavy allergies, but i really love being a "farmer"  :)

    You folks are so motivating and fun :)

  6. Hi  :)

    I have become unable to dose. I actually had some heart problems, doc think it is side effect from the triptans i used. I cannot use O2, it cramp up my heart even more. But i`m out from high cycle today i think, wonderful. Went out and had a walk and some wonderful wonderful fresh autumn air. What i do from here i guess only time will show.

    What i`m thinking is i have routines for shitty days, bad periods or whatever that meets us in our daily life. I have routines that only have one goal, how to make me function the best way i can today. Often this can turn the day from being like "how to make it trough the day" to be such a great day.

    Let`s give each other tools and share your motivation routine :) Being episodic or chronic, all healthy, rich or poor, we all need motivation!

    Share with us:)

    PFW from me


  7. I know i told this a hundred times, but i can`t stop the wondering. I came here suicidal, CH had ravaged me for 6 years, i was in such a poor physically and psychic condition. Not a therapist or doc could have denied the amazing effect from this treatment. But most important was all and is the love and support from all the board members over the years. During the competition i had the Clusterbusters energy with me. I had you constant in my mind, reminded me of what we've all been trough and managed.

    When we arrived, what met me was sponsored athletes who brought their own massage therapist and several hundred people that looked like they had steroids for breakfast. All i had was a red bag with some extra clothes and food, and a fecking headache. LOL ;D  This board is a group of brave people that got the courage to stand up and do what it takes. Cause the truth is that when it comes to life, not many people have the courage to make their own choices. Having this kind of group in my mind is truly the best backpack a person could have :)

    We all lift each other

  8. It`s an honor to know all of you  :)

    I finished heat 2 during a hit, i have to say, focus in mind is everything. What i think is amazing is that i actually tell people about this treatment now, and people accept it. Something has def changed, time changes and hopefully the tabu and stigma will go away in relatively short time. It seems to me it will. Let`s hope :)

    Glad to be here with you all.

    Thank you for the love and good energies :-*

    Go busters ;D

    Hug from me


  9. Hi everyone :-*

    It`s been a long time, hope your all doing great!

    I have been training very hard for this competition and i just want to tell you how a chronic CH`er attended an international Crossfit competition during high cycle, thanks to busting.

    Attended Fit as Fu*k in a team of 3, to men and 1 woman. I`m from Norway and 18 countries was represented from all over the world.


    Three years (almost), after i started busting i haven`t done any shrooms in a  year. Last time i busted with shrooms was before i went to the Chicago conference. After that i only used seeds. So last year it was shrooms 1 time in one year and now just maintenance. I do the RC seeds once a month. When it`s high cycle i do sometimes bust two times in a row. But that`s all. I do get shadows but who cares, right?! And some sort of pain from this CH thing i really do accept, and also should expect. The point is, i do function now and i`m  living a worthy life, and it doesn`t take that much to make it stay that way.

    Trying to be an athlete having CH can be a bit challenging, but it only takes a bit more planning. When i signed up i knew it was during high cycle. I think i jsut sort of denied the hole high cycle and just wanted to let it solve in some way or another. And actually, i do have very good experience with doing it this way. For months i have been doing Crossfit and supplying with  weightlifting at a Olympic weightlifting club. Been eating the right type of food etc etc.

    One week before the competition i was really bad, my head just went nuts. I was hit so continuously that it was sort of just one long hit, no sleep, you all know about how it works. Did one bust but high cycle came as it always does.

    Being in the situation that i did need to just get rid of the pain quickly and hopefully with as few post dose hits as possible, i chose to do triptans. I hate triptans, i really think they will kill you if you do them to often, but the thought was that if i did take tablets they would stay in the system and prevent hits for a couple of days. They affect cardio very much, that was no good for the competition, but, my choice was pain or bad cardio. Had to choose bad cardio, i decided i just had to push myself even more.

    I think everyone can guess what happened. The triptans didn`t work very well, and i ended up doing triptans in both tablets and shots. Lesson learned. Next year i need to start busting it much earlier :P

    The day before i got a stand in for my team in case the flight would cause to much trouble. I didn`t get much sleep the night before but i decided i would just do it, i had my clock ringing so i didn`t get any REM sleep, that work out well. Between the first and the sec heat i was hit, i managed to complete both heats and i am so proud of it. I did it well enough and i`m happy :) I have to say, it was FECKING HARD WORK, lol ;D

    So now i have carbed up again and i`m thinking of you folks that brought me this far and i really hope your proud of it as well. Next years goal is to go there as a single athlete.

    I bet conference was awesome and i`m soooo sorry to miss out on Potter`speech and all the great people!! Hope you all had a great time :)

    We will go as far as we want to yourself, i learned that in here.

    Thank you for getting me where i am today :)

    Big hug and lots of love from me

    Tingeling :-*

    PS. I was wearing a black jumper while warming up, i didn`t forget to shave under my arm, it`s textile from the jumper!! LOL ;D


  10. Time will show Jimmy, a stir is kind of a good sign, but anyways, it will most likely be fixed with a follow up bust. Just remember to give it time to settle first.

    All the best to you from me

    Tingeling :)

  11. Hi Jimmy  :)

    It is best to wait the 5-7 days. Bujt when things are bad theyr bad, sometimes it`s not possible to wait or nothing to wait for. As Carl once said to me, i rather take some of our medicine than go for the imitrex. True, cause that way you will just have to wait even longer before dosing and maybe have to deal with more than the ususal hits. So sometimes i just do what i have to do and dose. It may not be as effective as it could be detoxing from everything, but it will usualy take me a place where i can detox.

    Crush around 50 with a hammer, soak them for hole day if u can wait, i just use water or some orange juice. I like to drink them when i go to bed.

    PF wishes to you my friend, hug Ting :)

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