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Ricardo

Ricardo's Psychedelic Head Pain

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That was the name of the blog I started years ago.  Unfortunately I think the only person who read it was me  :).  So many times I have something to say and no idea where to put it, I guess this might be the place. 

I started a whole junk load of stress and B.S. last week after I got upset at a joke that I thought was inappropriate.  My goal was essentially trying to get people to realize that we have worldwide members and we might end up making people upset and offending them.  In the end it seems like I made people upset and offended them.  Not a very effective strategy huh?  I'm throwing out apologies left and right--if I've left any out please PM me and we can work through it, the last thing I want is lingering anger and resentment with any of us. 

I think we make a great family.  We all support each other, but even the best families have their times when people do not agree, over react and get angry.  I want to publicly apologize to Not4Hire for the way I handled his post, to our moderators for not dealing with this situation in a way that was actually productive, and even to Potter for freaking the F out on him.  Although I may not agree with the way you go about things, Potter, You deserve respect just like everyone else on this board and I will try to remember that.  Again, if I have left anyone out, I deeply apologize and encourage them to PM me, like I should have done in the first place :)

I've been in a rough place lately.  Believe it or not, the headaches haven't been that bad. (Thank you Ketamine)  What has been especially rough on me is that my amazing wonderful canine friend is dying and there is nothing I can do about it.  My wife just told me that if she dies in the middle of winter we're going to have to put her in our chest freezer until spring.  (seriously)  Me and my wife are going through crazy issues with I.V.F. so that we can have kids.  My Wife has to have surgery to remove a grapefruit sized endometrioma before we even think about the I.V.F.----and that is scaring the hell out of me.  Business has been stressful to the extreme.  My pop was been helping me get a woodshed built, until he got pneumonia in both lungs.   Now I'm worried about him, and I have 5 cords of wood and a half built shed under the 2 feet of Halloween snow I got.  I could keep going, but why dwell on the negative, eh?

I'm sure all of this contributed to me reacting in a way that obviously did not help, but that doesn't really matter.  What does is that I am sorry, and I hope that is enough.

-Ricardo

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Good God! I just reread that post--How Friggin Depressing!  Back to Drugs!  Ricardo's Psychedelic Head Pain obviously needs something more psychedelic.

And THIS is just messed up...

http://www.cognitiveliberty.org/shulgin/blg/index.html

According to Sasha Shulgin, if we added something with an ample amount of 5-MEO-DMT (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virola) to your substrate that you grow your mushy's in, you can have your mushrooms act like tiny laboratories that 4-hydroxylate your 5-MEO-DMT, making it so you can come up with crazy psychedelics that are ridiculously hard to make or come by.  What does it all mean?  I have no idea, but it's friggin awesome.

Enjoy!

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Well I think you're holding up dam well under the circumstances Ricardo and am glad you bring your personality and considerable intellect to the family get togethers here.   8-)

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It's all good...just keep it in perspective.

“When you find youself in a hole - stop digging.”

[ch8213] Will Rogers

8-)

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We've all said or done things that we wished we could take back (I'm still embarrassed, AO). In most instances, a short period of embarrassment, with it's attendant apologies and lessons learned, quickly fades in our rear-view mirrors. For a moment, the listening public - with it's incredibly short attention span - heaps shame on the culprit and pity on the victim. We each play one of those 3 parts so frequently that the drama itself must have great survival value.

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I must have been asleep, because I have no idea what you're talking about.

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F ex. What Norwgian humor is, i think would be so offending to folks from the states. Basically it`s just mocking other peoples characteristics and allot of sarcasm and irony. Really very cruel. Like f ex one of my best friends and i have a joke about me. Like "probably cause of the height and color". That`s like goes to about everything. "Why are you so funny? Probably cause of your height and color. I`m the little yellow one. Or "i don`t know, can`t see it, my eyes are to narrow".

My guess is this is not funny to you, but most Norwegians will find it hilarious. Don`t ask me why, i`m yellow :P

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Damn it Ting!  I am now amassing an army of angry Norwegians that find no humor in your assertion that Norwegians are funny or yellow.  We will find you!   It's gonna be me, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton....Just wait.

Disclaimer---I AM A SARCASTIC SON OF A BITCH AND HAVE TAKEN TOO MANY DRUGS TO BE CONSIDERED SANE IN A COURT OF LAW.  PLEASE DO NOT HURT ME.

-Ricardo

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That was the name of the blog I started years ago.  Unfortunately I think the only person who read it was me  :).  So many times I have something to say and no idea where to put it, I guess this might be the place. 

I started a whole junk load of stress and B.S. last week after I got upset at a joke that I thought was inappropriate.  My goal was essentially trying to get people to realize that we have worldwide members and we might end up making people upset and offending them.  In the end it seems like I made people upset and offended them.  Not a very effective strategy huh?  I'm throwing out apologies left and right--if I've left any out please PM me and we can work through it, the last thing I want is lingering anger and resentment with any of us. 

I think we make a great family.  We all support each other, but even the best families have their times when people do not agree, over react and get angry.  I want to publicly apologize to Not4Hire for the way I handled his post, to our moderators for not dealing with this situation in a way that was actually productive, and [highlight]even to Potter[/highlight] for freaking the F out on him.  Although I may not agree with the way you go about things, Potter, You deserve respect just like everyone else on this board and I will try to remember that.  Again, if I have left anyone out, I deeply apologize and encourage them to PM me, like I should have done in the first place :)

I've been in a rough place lately.  Believe it or not, the headaches haven't been that bad. (Thank you Ketamine)  What has been especially rough on me is that my amazing wonderful canine friend is dying and there is nothing I can do about it.  My wife just told me that if she dies in the middle of winter we're going to have to put her in our chest freezer until spring.  (seriously)  Me and my wife are going through crazy issues with I.V.F. so that we can have kids.  My Wife has to have surgery to remove a grapefruit sized endometrioma before we even think about the I.V.F.----and that is scaring the hell out of me.  Business has been stressful to the extreme.  My pop was been helping me get a woodshed built, until he got pneumonia in both lungs.   Now I'm worried about him, and I have 5 cords of wood and a half built shed under the 2 feet of Halloween snow I got.  I could keep going, but why dwell on the negative, eh?

I'm sure all of this contributed to me reacting in a way that obviously did not help, but that doesn't really matter.  What does is that I am sorry, and I hope that is enough.

-Ricardo

Well if that ain't a left handed compliment.

          Potter

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Sorry dude, You're right.  When I reread that I saw how it sounds and I didn't mean it that way.  What I meant was that anyone that read what I wrote before could tell that I was really pissed with you.   I definitely wrote that wrong.  Truly sorry, and I sincerely apologize for flying off the handle and saying that junk to you.   

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Hey,,  No one apologized to me...  Now I'm offended. :)  Next someone is going to throw out a blonde joke.. ha....

Love you guys (and gals)!

Jeff

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Sorry dude.  No apologies to anyone that is considering getting their ta-ta's tattooed.  That's a rule I made early in life and I'm sticking to it.  I will however, extend my apologies to the kid I shot in the ass with a BB gun in 7th grade, to the school nurse who had to pull the dime out of my nose that I stuck there as a "magic trick" in 6th grade, and to anyone that I convinced to take a gravity bong hit out of my modified Carlo Rossi wine jug when I was a teenager.   I should probably apologize to my mother as well, but I don't think I have time to type all that out now. 

-Ricardo

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Psychedelic and Head Pain have been the theme of the week...I've been having relatively good times with the headaches until this Sat.  Woke up with a Kip 3 in my right eye.  95% of the time that I get hit it's in my left eye, almost anytime I get hit in my right eye I know it's going to be bad...Took 6 ketamine sprays, had relief but not completely and not for long.  Took 6 more, and experienced the same.  Cannabis helped for a little while, but not much.  REALLY strong coffee did about the same.  Took 20 high strength ginger pills--All I got was heartburn.  I took 6 grams of Vitamin M, very little relief.  I think I tried more Ketamine too...At this point I tried to lie down with an ice pack and try to zone out in the hopes that it would let the drugs work better.  Just ended up feeling really crazy and thrashing around.  Finally got up and went to stack wood just to keep myself busy.  I would pick up as much wood as I could drop it to stack and would get overwhelmed by pain (and ginger heartburn :P)  Seemed like while I was actually moving and lifting the mushroom intoxication zoned me out enough to not notice (as much) but as soon as I stopped for a minute it would flood back over me.  My friend showed up and gave me 2 hits of Acid.  He seemed scared, he had never seen me like that.    2 hits helped but not nearly enough.  My guess is that if I ate something like 10 it might have aborted it...Eventually I gave in and took a zomig, which worked.   All in all, lasted about 12 hours (which makes me wonder if it really was a cluster, lately I wonder more and more about migraines....)

The next day I got hit again, although not nearly as bad.  8 hits of acid helped for most of the day, but ended up taking 2.5 grams of Vitamin M on top of it later on, which got rid of my pain.  Monday I was blessed with just shadows.  Yesterday I was completely pain free until about 4 pm--then I started getting hit harder and harder.  Felt like a thin cold steel blade was slicing into one small section of my left forehead.  Took 2.5 grams Vitamin M, which worked until about 10 pm, then it steadily got worse--I could tell that if I went to sleep like that I was just going to wake up in agony.  Took 1/2 zomig and went to sleep.

Today I feel the gentle pressure in my eye, like if you were to take a grape and gently squeeze it until it's about to pop.  Wonder how it's going to end up...Think I'll try some cannabis, but I have the feeling I'm back to the zomig at some point today.  WTF?!?

The questions I have that no one can really answer...Why isn't the Ketamine working?  It seems like one day I'm singing praises about how pain free I am, the next I'm trying to stop myself from banging my head on the wall--with no apparent reason as to what brought it on.  I know this is a common theme, but it frustrates me beyond belief...Am I now on a Zomig spiral of rebounds?  Was the Ketamine ever working?  Hard to tell at this point if the ketamine WOULD be working as I am pretty much out.  Have I gotten tolerance to the Ketamine?  That's something I know nothing about--if anybody has any info on Ketamine tolerance and how quickly it sets in I would love to hear it...Was the high dose morning glory seeds that I dosed up with right before I went on the Ketamine REALLY responsible for all the PF times?  At least I see my Neuro on the 30th and he's going to double the strength of the Ketamine--but I'm not really sure what to do in the meantime.  I think the only thing I have that will work is zomig, and I am damn convinced that even if it hasn't yet, it will eventually give me rebounds.  My guess is that until I see him I am going to take zomig, get rebounds, be a complete mess and just deal.  Then I'm going to get Ketamine, dose on that for at least 5 days, and then take every psychedelic known to man (that I can find  :)) and try to bust the beast into oblivion.   At least I've got a plan :P

-Ricardo

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Ricardo,  sorry you're having such a hard time of it.  I do read a few positive notes through your posts.  You're getting some relief from time to time, and the hits aren't quite as bad as they could be.

Keep up the fight.

Jeff

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I'm sorry you're having such a rough time!

Could the Zomig possibly be blocking the effects of the Ketamine, like it and trex block the mushrooms? Just my thoughts on it.

Hope something gets better!

Mystina

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Could the Zomig possibly be blocking the effects of the Ketamine

Maybe.  But I doubt it...From what I've read Ketamine ACTS like an SSRI, but it works differently, mostly by promoting new nerve growth in your brain as opposed to hitting the type of serotonin receptors that mushrooms or psilocybin do.  The Ketamine seemed to workpretty good when I first got it, and I had no detox from the triptans.  And on Sat, the day I got hit pretty hard I had not actually taken any zomig in weeks. 

Today I'm getting hit, but not hard.  I'm probably just going to take a zomig at some point and not let it all stress me out, I hate taking triptans, but they're better than getting hit...I guess I could take some mushy's, but I did that whole I'm "tripping balls at Thanksgiving thing" once when I was a teenager--I remember thinking that if I didn't stab my turkey it was going to squirm off the plate :)  My mother seemed a little concerned...

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Another true Thanksgiving story....This one's a little spooky....Way back in the good ole days of 1993 or 1994, when strong clean LSD seemed to be everywhere (probably because of this guy....)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Leonard_Pickard

Me and 3 friends went out into the thick woods alongside the Connecticut river, tripping balls.  Unfortunately, it was about 16 degrees out and we could find absolutely no kindling to start a fire.  The wind was whipping and it was freezing.  2 of my friends decided to sit in the car all night while me and another friend looked desperately to find something to start a fire with.  It was my parents car, and it ended up being completely empty for flammable things--except for a church hymnal.  Probably one of the strangest trips I've had, staring into a burning fire watching religious songs written on paper slowly burn up, one by one.  One of the few times I've prayed, as in "please lord don't take this personally :)" 

We made it through the night.  I went to my Aunts for a fairly regular Thanksgiving dinner, came home, and went out to hang with some friends.  No one was around so I drove around and then headed home.  As I pulled onto my street, The Eagles "Hotel California" came on.  I drove right past my driveway and kept on going because I liked the song and wanted to hear the whole thing.  In the middle of the song though, my Ford Taurus (nicknamed "The steel Pig" by my friends for how well it handled  ;)) slid on the freshly layed loose gravel that was put down less than 24 hours ago.  I was heading for a huge boulder, jerked the wheel and went to the other side of the street--where I slammed into a telephone pole hard enough to break it into 3 pieces.  No seatbelt, made a basketball size smash in the windshield from my head...and somehow I was fine.  Got out, ran down the street to my folks house and we all headed back to the scene, which was a mess.  All sorts of neighbors had come out to see why all the power on the street was out :).  Unfortunately, one neighbor was a cop and was holding up roach clips that he found in the ashtray...

Now Thanskgiving always reminds me of Hotel California, Burning Hymnals, car wrecks, being 16 years old and yelling at police officers...The good ole days   :)

When I said to my Wife, "Kinda weird, I have a lot of Thanksgiving tripping stories..."  She said, "No, you just have a lot of tripping stories"   Oh yeah  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMFqh_tiHoQ

Happy Thanskgiving folks!

-Ricardo

P.S.   Cause I know somebody's gonna ask...I actually had my headaches before this accident   ;)

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I love a heartwarming Thanksgiving story  :)

Too bad you weren't listening to the "Hell Freezes Over" version of Hotel California because I think it's a beat or two slower and you may have been able to keep the car under control......  :D

Bob

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This is such an amazing video...Had to share.  Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor describes her account of living through a stroke and finding nirvana....

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Man it's been a rough week....I have not actually counted how many zomig I have taken this week, probably should...it's been a lot.  Same experience I've had in the past.  I take an occasional zomig (or other triptan) and it's no big deal.  I take more than 3-4 in a week, and it seems like it just spirals me into more and more pain,  with brief intervals of PF time when I take the pills.  Eventually though, it always ends the same.  Triptans every day, headache every day--I mostly fight through the day, hoping that THIS day I might not actually need them--but until I bust it with something else (opiates have had the best luck with this for me--psychedelics get rid of my pain but it always comes back with a raging appetite for triptans...The Ketamine may work too, have not had enough experience with it yet....)

I saw my Neuro on Wednesday and he wrote me a script for twice the dosage of Ketamine I was using.  I was so unbelievably grateful, I had already been on the triptans for a week and could feel the spiral coming.  Unfortunately, because it's not prescribed much, especially in Intranasal form, I have to get it compounded--can't just pick it up at the pharmacy.  BUT.....They don't have it.  They are working real hard to get it, but right now they don't and I am stuck in the zomig spiral.  I was up til 5:30 this morning, ice pack to the head.  Zomig helped but not nearly enough and I maxed out my 24 dosage limit.  I didn't get out of bed until 12:30 in the afternoon today.  I had shit to do.  Now I just called the compounding office.  They promised last week they would have it by now, but of course, no ketamine.  Not sure when they will get it either, real soon though (I think I remember them saying that on Thursday.....) They told me they will call me as soon as they get it.... So.....What now?  No headache right now....maybe today will be pain free?  (yeah right says the zomig spiral....)  I think I'm gonna call my neuro and see if he'll give me a couple days worth of opiates so I don't have to eat any more of those dirty Zomig.   (or more realistically end up in the ER because the triptans that I seem to have become addicted to don't even really seem to WORK anymore) 

Don't worry about me though, folks....Just venting.  If this is as bad as it gets, it's nothing like all the BS I dealt with before.  I'm gonna try and get in touch with my Neuro and see what he can do....

-Ricardo

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