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BUZZ

not sure i have the strenght

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I just busted with 110 RC seeds, 4 hours ago. It's the first time I do it. It seems to work in the right place. For a while, I was almost pain free, but the shadow is back. I feel I could have taken more. Many of the 110 seeds were floating when I did the water test, like 50 probably. I figured they wouldn't hurt... so in fact did I take only 60 seeds?

I read this thread here only today

http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cb/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1283257635/0

Tingeling, do you still use this "brew"? How many seeds was that? How strong was the mushroom tea? Do you still think some alcohol helps? as you had written: "(...) and i wonder if the alcohol helped dilating the vessels, so i had a more even effect". and how much vodka is "A shot glass of vodka"?

CHfather had suggested I start with 50 or something seeds cause he feared for lithium cross action but I had stopped 85 hours ago so I figured I was safe.

hehe... I recognized the LSD like feeling from 34 years ago, but it was very light.

I don't know... am I feeling better? hmmmm. Is there LSD available anywhere in North America?

Kyle wrote: "CH cannot withstand the power of HWBR!"

It works best?

Think I need to eat now. I took them on an empty stomach, and the nausea feeling (mild) completely cut any hunger I could have had. I just read today also that I'm not the only one to lose weight.

I really appreciate any support. A big thank you to everyone. Think I'm feeling better.

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Buzz, hang in there. *hugs*

I personally used alcohol with the seeds because it made it stronger. Ricardo has posted that it's thought it might turn the LSA in the seeds into LSH. I just poured however much looked good in there.

I used Vodka.

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Mystina, did the alcohol-soaked seeds actually help you?  Somehow I'm remembering that RC seeds don't seem to work for you, despite taking large amounts.

Ricardo also says that soaking seeds in peppermint tea or wine makes LSH instead of LSA.  (For full disclosure, others have said they doubt this. I have no idea.)  Cold peppermint tea, he says.  Discussion of that in this thread: http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cb/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1323888444/17

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CHFather: Yeah, they helped, but not like the mushrooms or LSD for me. Mushrooms got me into low cycle, which RC seeds never did. I also get months of relief (low cycle wise at least) from the shrooms.

I tried taking the seeds with OJ only, and it didn't seem to work as well. The alcohol seemed to make them stronger. (I'd have a minor trip.) The last time I took the seeds I had hell not vomiting 'em up. (As in, I was gagging them down, and felt like my body was telling me 'No. No more.')

In short, I got some relief, but not enough.

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Tingeling, do you still use this "brew"? How many seeds was that? How strong was the mushroom tea?

I save this as the big ammo. I used it two times and both times it given me around 7-8 weeks pf. Did a reg dose of seeds and a reg dose of shrooms. Yes i think the alcohol does a difference. But as the huge trigger it is i never use it except fromwhen i do that potion. Then i can tolerate it that one time. Been busting 2 years, so you could say i used it once a year. I use as little alchohol as i can, like a mouth or two.

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All,

I would recommend a K-10 definition change in all the earlier mentioned references.  Changing "Contemplating Suicide" to "Planning Suicide". 

A K-9 might have you thinking of Suicide, but at K-10 you're to the point of planning it.  (Know from experience, before busting came along).

Love you guys and gals!

Jeff

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I agree THMH, and also I had one a few hours ago that I couldn't fit in the scale. It was beyond 6, it fit the 7 description on my post above, except that I didn't collapse at all after the hour of unreal pain: I just cannot sleep. No way I was going back to bed. I think the collapse belongs to Kip 8

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Thank you everyone for very precious information in this thread, especially for a newbie like me, and I think for also a few other newbies who posted here.

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Many of the 110 seeds were floating when I did the water test, like 50 probably. I figured they wouldn't hurt... 

I don't know if it would make a nausea difference at all, but personally I tend to think of floater seeds as spoiled food that can't do ya any good, so it's good to toss 'em.

In fact I get rid of the floaters amongst my raw sunflower and pumpkin seeds before chowing down -  I was told seed floaters in general have gone bad, are rancid, and aren't good for ya.

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For me a K10 isn't planning suicide, it's compelled to commit suicide. Because at that point it stops being a matter of "I can't take this pain." to "I'll do whatever the hell will stop it. What will stop it permanently? Suicide."

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For me a K10 isn't planning suicide, it's compelled to commit suicide. Because at that point it stops being a matter of "I can't take this pain." to "I'll do whatever the hell will stop it. What will stop it permanently? Suicide."

I agree Pixie, but one must admit that, at a certain point, a certain planning of that is needed, although it's quite difficult to plan anything when we get to that point. I thought the formulation I had found pictured the feeling :

"death appears as a very light and refreshing option". It could be left to that, but I think references to a certain planning of an action in that sense would be good to add in order also to show to outsiders to what point this gets bad. What do you think?

4. Equal to childbirth in pain as discussed with a friend, lasts 10-20 minutes, will be very shaken, cry, body temp all over the place

I think we'd need input from female clusterheads who gave birth to help range this level of pain within the KipScale. it's a good reference for the outside world.

(...)

8. Pain goes ultrasonic, words can no longer properly describe. By 'ultrasonic', I mean, it is as if you are listening to a very high pitched tone that hurts, but the tone keeps increasing until you can no longer hear the tone, but only feel the pain. My clusters do this. The pain is no longer there at one level, but ultra intense on another level.

9. Suicidal. 

I think Renée's description here for K8 is close to weatherman's at K9: "Pain becomes very clean and almost spiritual". I also get to a point where a slight shifting of my head and there is no pain at all anymore. It seems to me at that point that PF and total pain are two faces of the same thing. I think this detail should be added to K9, reality having started to fade at K8.

Renée gets to suicidal at K9, but I think as THMH pointed out, K9 could be the contemplation of it.

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And by the way, BUZZ, busting seems to be working, after sleeping 5.5 hours today, I'm feeling refreshed, almost painless. Started D3 partially also. So keep the faith: there is a way out of this downbound train.

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I don't know if it would make a nausea difference at all, but personally I tend to think of floater seeds as spoiled food

definitely makes a difference, almost no nausea this time. Feeling the seeds working the headaches out, feels good. So light psy effect almost unnoticeable.

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Buzz, i am so glad that you came back and relieved some (last post fears). I will celebrate my 26th year without a pf day this coming march and I can't tell you how many times I have laid out the entire plan to end this in a way that looks ok to others. I am back on this board because I am spending way to much time on those thought patterns again. i have tried busting before with minimal and temporary relief. As a certain fuzzy haired Doctor at an Austin, TX. meet told me "you might have to start with a sledge hammer before you can back down to a maintenance dose.

I fully intend to try anything I can before I give up for good. Hang tough and I will try to do the same.

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