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ThatHurtsMyHead

New Cycle Started - Satan is back

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Hey Everybody,

Seems like between each cycle I forget how painful the attacks are.  I'm going through an 'E' tank of O2 daily right now.  This year's cycle started about 2 weeks ago, but I knew it was coming about a month before that.

I've not read anything about this, but does anyone else get vivid dreams before their cycle starts?  I've had Cluster Headaches for nearly 20 years now, but was only properly diagnosed about 8 years ago.  A few weeks before each cycle I ALWAYS start having vivid dreams.  Crazy, lifelike, in color etc...  Was wondering if anyone else gets them before their cluster cycle starts?

On another subject:  When I was first diagnosed I was prescribed Verapamil by my neurologist.  It appeared to work as a cycle abortive that year.  The next year when my cycle started I went to the neurologist and got a prescription for Verapamil again.  This time it didn't work and actually FU$@ed up my heart.  (I've read a few posts on the internet mentioning people with CH getting heart arhymathia after taking Verapamil)   Now if I drink caffeine more than a few days in a row my heart starts skipping (PVC's - Really scarry Sh$t).  The neurologist said there was no way Verapamil could have caused it, but I KNOW better.  Now reading others with CH having the same issue reinforces it.  Anyway I'm certainly not going to take that stuff again.

I've read two separate studies on the internet regarding breaking cycles with various hallucinogens.  The high success rate in the reports has convinced me I really need to try it.  A bit of background on myself:  I've never done illegal drugs other than trying pot once 20 years ago.  I've mostly worked jobs in the past that require drug tests, or security clearances that taking drugs simply isn't an option.  Not to mention I truly believe that one should be sober in life to truly enjoy it.  That said...  Back to the Hallucinogens:  I've spent most of the last 5 days reading about the various positives, negatives, preparation etc of HBWR seeds, and have ordered some off the internet.  (All vendors listed on ClusterBusters have stopped selling the seeds, but I found a few still selling them via Google)  I'm currently keeping a headache log and would be happy to provide input to any medical studies underway.  Having been unsuccessful with other 'government approved' treatments.  From what I gather on HBWR seeds the high sounds similar or even less than an Imitrex shot.  While those work for me as an abortive, I can't think straight for two days after taking just one shot.  Having to take a shot daily puts me in a constant state of fog, and unable to work.  I feel like I have no other choice but to try the HBWR seeds.  Last week I averaged 3 hours of sleep a night, as that's when I get 95% of my attacks.  Life just turns upside down.  IÂ’m not going to 10 on the pain scale, mostly around 4 with oxygen.  The lack of sleep is having a significant impact on my job.  I've been fired from more than one job while in a cluster.  I can't really blame them, but getting a shread of understanding from an employer is 100% useless.  The oxygen works, but having to always keep an 'E' tank with me is difficult to say the least.  NO ONE understands the degree of pain accept other sufferers.  Ha, I'm preaching to the quire now... 

Like many with Cluster Headaches, I almost committed suicide several times.  Once, I had the hammer cocked and was squeezing the trigger, when the attack started to break.  I was only a second or two from having the pain end permanently.  Since being properly diagnosed and having a prescription for O2 I've not gotten to that point in several years.  That said, life is never normal when in a cycle.  I hope the HBWR can bring life back to normal.

That's my story, only a small piece of it, but thought it necessary to share.

Jeff

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Hi

Thank`s for sharing. I know how you feel, i think. and you lived with this for so many years!

I been lying in my bed, totally at the edge. seeing myself the deepest place in hell, standing the last place without hot lava, barefoot,- feeling the end of satan's whip. my trust in the human race completely gone. Living with this does make most people disappear in the end. In my case at least. Nothing took the pain, not just a little! I laughed the devil at his face and said, come on- you can`t f***** kill me, show me the next trick! Bring it on!!! Because you can`t get me!!!

That was the day it turned around, decided to try this. thinking what the h....

I started a new life, you can read my last posts if you feel like.

In my opinion it`s not about doing something illegal or not. It`s about living or not in the end. In my case nothing preventive worked, this medicine did,- and i`m happy that i found it.

I hope you can find you're way too. Hoping you will post, so we know how you are doing :)

Best wishes from me :)

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Hi Jeff,

Glad to hear from you, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I don't personally have experience with the HBWR seeds myself, but I do know first hand how fast a cycle can be broken with the use of psychedellics. As far as worrying about drug test I don't think you have much to fear as the test to find the psychedellics being talked about on this forum are very expensive and are only effective within a few hours of ingestion, of course I am talking about the use of these substances and not abusing them. My friend and many of these people are willing to do whatever it takes to get beyond this pain, suicide included, the only difference is one alternative gives us back a quality of life that can't be matched by the pharmaceutical companies half a$$ed remedies. What you're seeking is available just not from a doctor but that does not take the validity of what it is capable of doing away. I hope to see you around the boards more and if there is anything I can help you with please don't hesitate to PM me.

Sincerely,

LL

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I also get very vivid dreams during cycle. They are not only vivid but intence. They are basically the most intense things people could be going through, war, being chased, racing, and wild parties, anything that moves very fast. They or the CH wake me up and then the pain starts. Then if I fall back to sleep the dream starts all over again. As to your tiring the HBWR. I’ve read some people experience bad stomach cramps from them. I hear the outer shell contains cyanide. There may be ways of preparing them properly. Many people use RC seeds (ryveria corymbosa), Not sure on that spelling. The RC seeds seem to have little to no psychedelic effect. This may be good start for someone with no psychedelic experience. Good LSD can be hard to find but you can grow mushrooms yourself. ½ gram mushrooms made into tea could be a good start. Peace, Hickory.

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I have no idea of the reason, but my vivid dreams always start just before my cycle and go away after it's over.  I've noticed it year after year and don't think it's coincidence as it's so regular with my cycles.

I agree with hickory on the intensity, they're usually quite entertaining, and always VERY real.

Sounds like it's a symptom shared with others with CH as well.

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I can vouch for this medication.  Broke my cycle for 3 years, only back since Jan.

About the vivid dreams, yes and with me it starts with the same dream, over and over again.

Hang in there, you are on the right path.

Cheers Jazz

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Hi Jeff.  I'll have to monitor my dreams better next cycle, sounds interesting.

I too was drug tested for a majority of my career and knowing what I know now, I would take the natural plant medicines for my CH's anyways.  Just me.  I haven't ever taken the pharmacuetical stuff so many people take.  They always seem too hardcore and not always effective.  I have either been able to control with caffeine or I get hammered and have a bad hour once a day for 2 months. 

I have read a lot of anthropological research on some of the psychoactive plants and fungus and that has changed my mind on the stigmas that surround some of these.  There are some good stories of the Mexican Shaman and the psilocybes in healing rituals.  Not quite the recreational teenage drug that we see them as in the U.S.  Or maybe the tea you drink at the Phish concert??  There is a real healing culture around plants in all of the world, so the fact that some of these work so effectively on our heads is quite logical. 

The willow tree, salix/salicillic(sp) acid is where aspirin comes from.  Got a headache, chew on the bitter bark of a willow.  Pacific Yew tree (Taxus brevifolia) is where anti-cancer drug Taxol came from.  Psilocybe is where the anti-cluster headache medicine psilocin comes from.  Makes perfect botanical sense.  We just all think they are for teenagers to party with.

I should add that I never tried the mushrooms until in my 40's as a response to my cluster's and had never planned to until I read the large number of posts here claiming relief.  No brainer after that.

Good luck!!

--Shaggy

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Hi Jeff,

If I could wish your pain away I would, but I can't. I think you're on the right track with the hallucinogens but since you've had virtually no experience with them maybe you should take it slow as they vary considerably in their hallucinatory effects. You'll find a lot of information about all of them and their effects on CH, here on this website. Rivea Corymbosa seeds, already mentioned by Hickory, have proven exceptionally effective for many CH'ers. Their psycho-physical effects are the mildest, they're cheap and you may find that they're all you need. The major psychedelics, while the most effective, can be pretty scary to the uninitiated - and - they're ILLEGAL. Proceed with caution.

Stick with us. Read as much as you will and ask questions. We're all in this together here, fighting a common enemy. Psychedelics are at the forefront of CH medicine. It's absolutely amazing how well they work! Together we can change the laws regulating their medicinal use and remove the social stigma attached to those who use them medicinally.

Good luck,

Ron

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Update:

My cycle this year started off really fast and bad.  It's tapered somewhat, mostly due to all the things I've leaned over the past 20 years.  (sleep sitting up is the biggest help)  Well not completely sitting up, but in a reclyner with my head well above my heart.  That one item signficantly reduces the nightly attacks.  Not eating any foods that taste any good... :(  etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, I started my HBWR treatment today.  I tried starting with a dose small enough that I wasn't suprised by any effects, but large enough to feel something (so I would be sure they were even the correct seeds).  I cleaned, crushed and soaked 5 HBWR seeds.  Soaked for 2 and a half hours in 1 oz of water.  Strained and drank only the water about 5 hours ago.  Took it on an empty stomach and only had a few ginger cookies 2 hours before.  I honestly couldn't tell that I had taken anything, no stomach upset (not really missing that part, ha) no side effects at all.  Really can't tell that anything is different.  That said I haven't had an attack in 2 days.  No shadows today either.  When I'm in cycle I'll usually go a few days between a week or so of attacks back and forth.  Anyway thought I'd report progress. 

I'm wondering if the seeds I purchased were old?  Not the proper seeds etc? 

Jeff

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Hi Jeff

I've used 20 HBWR seeds, soaked in water for 4 days and had it with fruit juice, on an empty stomach, yesterday morning.

The only "feeling" I had was being extremely relaxed, the shadow giving up his ghost and a bit of nausea for about 30 -40 min.  I fell asleep and had the best 4 hours sleep.

Only minor hits, Kip 4 to 6, after that, that I abort very easily, in a few minutes with coffee, Red Bull or heavy breathing in my deep-freeze.

So I do not think that HBWR seeds cause the same trip effects as mushrooms and LSD.

But then everyone experience medications differently.

Maybe others can help with their experience on HBRW seeds.

Jazz

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In regards to HBWR seeds. I started with four. Then moved up to 8. I was uncomfortable, anxious and sleepless for the night. I tried HBWR when they were first being talked about. I have to admit I didn't clean them properly and that could have been the problem. I probably should have removed all the husks.

In my mind they are much stronger medicine than the RC seeds. And I think it is important for beginners to be aware of that. Don't get the 2 seeds confused.

Yes, Jazz everyone is different. You almost make me want to try again.

I did plant some and ended up with some healthy vines, but no flowers or seeds.

Trying to get RC seeds going now and they don't want to come out yet. Nebraska's growing season is limited, I'm hoping to have plants to put outside by May 15.

Sorry got off topic there.

Hope you are doing well, Jazz. Sounds better than a few days ago.   Leslie

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First Hit this morning since taking the HBWR seeds 3 days ago.  Came on a little quicker than usual, but the O2 drove it off.  I'm planning on taking dose #2 on Friday afternoon.  That's really only 4 days (Monday afternoon was #1).  From reading here and elsewhere it's best to wait 5 days, but dosing on Sat / Sun isn't an option due to my kids being home from school.  Any suggestions on taking #2 on Friday, or think I should wait till Monday?

Jeff

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Update:  I took dose #2 on Friday.  9 HBWR seeds.  Felt a little different a couple of times for only a minute or two.  No effects I would call psychadelic, high or anything of the sort.  Anyway, no hits since.  I have to say, I was somewhat doubtful that this treatment would help (since nothing the doctors perscribe does any good), but am certain that the clusterbuster cycle abortive IS the best treatment out there.  Thanks for having this website and getting the word out on this treatment.

Jeff

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After a 7 year absence, the devil is back. I've had CH for the past 40 years. They sure made for some extreme personal insecurities during my teens and twenties. Here I was trying to be cool and all and then my mind gets the pain alert and I'm thinking how the hell am I going to get out of here. I have a difficult time getting my medical insurance company to OK the oxygen even though they prescribe Maxalt which is a disolvable Imitrex at $40 for 9 pills and I have used 14 in the past week. I am brand new to this cite and I've actually started to weep seeing that others do know exactly what I go through. I'm starting to wear down due to the lack of sleep in the past week and fighting with the insurance is pissing me off more than usual. Any advise?

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Hey Jeff! 

Thanks for sharing!  I am only in my 4th year of having CHs and have had 4 cycles.  I really feel for and look up to those who have gone through this most of their lives!  You're an inspiration to keep on trucking.

RC seeds broke my last cycle in 2 weeks! 

I am getting on here now because I have been having shadows for over 3 weeks and this morning morning I have prepared an RC potion. 

IT IS SO STRANGE YOU MENTION THE DREAMS!!!  When I read that, it dawned on me that I have been having the most vivid, memorable dreams in the last 3 weeks!!  My cycle is about to start, cheers to RC Potion today and Best of Luck to you!!!

Slim

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