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PhilW

Carl Is Dead

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Carl is dead. That great big giant of a Yorkshire man has gone and died, unexpectedly and way too soon. Carl was fearless - a tough, proud working class fella with a generous heart that matched his 6 foot plus frame.

Carl's head was lately better than ever. Last year he had one brief bout. You can imagine, or hopefully you know, what that means. He was looking forward to some pain free time in his twilight years. Sadly he did not get enough.

Carl endured decades of chronic ch with no medications. So he was uncompromising in our efforts to distribute information in our uk buster wars all those years ago. This cemented our friendship. Carl and I are still banned from ouch uk, which we would laugh about every time we met. I hope some of those we upset may now understand and think a passing kind thought for him. Since then our group has sadly dissipated. So I thought to post here.

Although Carl has not been active on the forums these past few years he was often sneaking a look. He would hate me saying that. Tough mate. I want to say more.

Three years ago, on the brink, Carl saved my life. Literally. I hope all of you have a friend like Carl. Some of you did. Over the years I lost track of those he would help with advise, support and more. All in his brusque manner of course.

I last saw Carl just before xmas. He spent the whole weekend telling me he loved me and I wish I had told him the same back more than the once I did. I mostly said don't be so gay. What a w***er I am.

Going out with Carl and his wife Brenda was hilarious. They were the centre of everywhere they went. Strangers, once over a moment of fear, would soon be laughing hysterically at his jokes, their jaws dropping at his outrageous profanities. He would then produce a pack of cards and perform a magic trick. Really, his expert sleight of hand combined with his gruff approach was a sight to behold - a performance of magic with an edge of menace and a great big grin. He would then buy the whole bar a drink, insult the queen and leave.

Carl would often say all ch sufferers are mad, "We're all obsessive". I would point out not as much as him. Which was true. Not as much as you mate. For example, he took up the guitar and, practising hours each day, quickly became an accomplished player. He would ring me often playing some finger picking blues down the phone. He recently played some Bach on his acoustic for me. That was really something.

Also, a few years back he took up golf. He would golf obsessively, putting great effort into quietly improving his game. Last summer a friend entered him into the Yorkshire amateur golf championship. Amazingly, once dragged there against his wishes, Carl won. Yes, out of no where, an unknown with no form, from the wrong side of town, won. He sat in the bar drinking all day as his victory became ever more likely. By the evening speech all he could do was stagger on stage and say "I can't f***ing believe I won" and fall over. I wish I had been there. There was a black tie presentation dinner planned for a month later. The club captain spoke to Carl about "your lot from South Leeds" behaving. Carl replied that he would be bringing Brenda too. That was strictly against the rules. No women allowed. The captain added "anyway we have a comedian who can be a bit blue and we don't want to upset your wife". Carl replied "you've never met my wife". He didn't attend the ceremony.

Carl showed me his name carved in wood on the winners board dating back over a century. He was beaming. Beautiful.

Carl, aka CArl, aka guitarman, magician, musician, golfer, dog lover, buster, father, husband and more besides passed away on holiday in Spain on Saturday 5th January 2013.

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Carl sounds like a wonderful man, and my heart goes out to you and his family.

I strongly believe no one is going to support cluster heads as well as other cluster heads, and Carl sounds like a champion of this approach.

xx MoxieGirl

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Wow Carl sounds like one in a billion who lived so large and whose legacy will live on.

He spent the whole weekend telling me he loved me and I wish I had told him the same back more than the once I did. I mostly said don't be so gay. What a w***er I am.

Hey, you told him once, that said it all, and it means you're clearly not a w***er, just very lucky to have been good pals with Carl. 

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Such sad news.  I am still gobsmacked.  We had our differences but we were truly the same.

Carl texted me on Christmas Eve. Wish I'd said more than the usual pleasantries.  RIP mate, you great big Yorkshire t**t.

-Pete

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I recall the battles CArl helped wage to try and enlighten OUCH UK, and his active and valuable participation on the American boards. I never met him in person, but his big heart was obvious even in ASCII.

He was truly a Cluster Hero and will be sorely missed. My sympathies to his wife, family and friends.

-tommyD

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Carl told me that he was sure we would meet someday. There were things we needed to talk about, and now I wish I said more, like you feel Pete and Phil.

How we become important to each other with an ocean between us is a mystery. Some say it's the clusters. I don't think so. I think we might be "mad".

That bad ankle must have healed for that golf game. I truly know how happy that would make him.

                             Leslie

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I am so very sorry to hear this news.  When this board went live in Oct of 09, CArl was an "old timer" from the old private cb group... He was so helpful and became a good friend......got a PM from him one day sayin he was gonna pull away from the board and leave it to the new guys.....I have missed him being here so much over the past couple of years!! 

RIP brother....

DD

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I have to say, this saddens me greatly.

Although there have been many people in the UK that have worked hard against all the roadblocks to get help for people, and to make information available for people, no one worked harder and longer than Carl.

And Yes, Phil was right there alongside.

No one stood up for the rights of people to get information and make up their own minds, than this man. When it was impossible to get the info out to the masses, he took it upon himself to get it to those that were seeking help, personally, one at a time.

A man that was not afraid to make enemies if thats what it took to help those that needed it.

I also just heard from him shortly before Christmas.

I am shocked by this and I'm sorry Phil, that you've lost such a great friend.

This is Carl

CArl_zpsb12d0800.jpg

RIP my friend. We truly have lost a cluster hero.

OK, so I had to edit this already. Still don't know all the right words but when I posted it, I noticed the MLK quote on the bottom of my post. It seemed to fit him perfectly. I will leave it at that.

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Such very sad news. Carl was THE man, who was always there, replying to my emails, on the other end of the phone to help me. And when I met him in the flesh, he truly was one of those 'larger than life' characters. I hadn't spoken to him in the last few years, and he was in my thoughts very recently. I was gonna fire off an email, but never got around to it, how crap do I feel now...

RIP CArl

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Sad sad news.... I never met him in person, but trough the board when i first joined CB and later emails i got to know him as a very helpful man with great knowledge and a big heart.

It was good to read what PhilW wrote about Carl, it tells about a great man in a very loving way. Thank you.

Rest in peace Carl

Tingeling

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Rest in Peace, Carl. I never got to meet you, but one thing we're both glad for now: CH won't ever touch you again.

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Thanks for letting us know, it canÂ’t have been easy, well done Phil mate.

Whether you were shaking hands or bumping heads, you knew about it when you met Carl. A big man with a big laugh and an even bigger heart.

He went about things in his own “big” way, full on and without any fear, which always left an impression.

He had a way about him that brought people close, and a sincerity and warmth that reached out far and wide to many people.

IÂ’ll miss his big hearty laugh and bear like hugs.

The space he leaves behind is a big one.

ItÂ’s going to take quite some time to fill.

Sleep peacefully Carl mate.

ben

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Beautiful thing from PhilW to describe an amazing spirit even to us who never had the fortune to meet him.

Wishing you a peaceful journey

T.

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What can I say about Carl that hasn't already been said, except that I am deeply saddened by this news.

Thanks PhilW for letting us all know, and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and the many others whose lives he touched.

Bobb

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Carl collapsed and died during a go-karting session on Saturday afternoon in Tenerife. It was the penultimate day of their holiday. Brenda is back home being supported by family and friends. Carl should be coming home in the next few days. I guess the cause of death will be known once the results of the post mortem are public. Funeral arrangements are yet to be made.

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Thanks Phil, for the clarification.  I took the liberty of removing the erroneous link to avoid confusion. 

bb

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Thanks Phil, for the clarification.  I took the liberty of removing the erroneous link to avoid confusion. 

bb

thank you Bob mate my apologies.

love you

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Carl is to be cremated on Monday 28th January. He died of a heart attack.

Please pm for arrangements information.

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I never met Carl in person but we regularly emailed when I was in cycle about 10 years back. 

He was someone whoÂ’d genuinely go the extra mile to support another sufferer and IÂ’m more than grateful for his support.

His posts on the OUCH UK messageboard that dared to promote alternate clusterbusting techniques as a clinical remedy for CH caused all sorts of problems for the moderators, resulting in his being ostracised from OUCH UK and banned from posting at all.

After a quick look at the OUCH UK website and messageboard it remains pretty much fact free when it comes to promoting or discussing alternative treatments and I struggle with the ethics and morality of any CH organisation in withholding key information for sufferers.

Maybe itÂ’s time to rattle a few cages again in his memory

Shine on you crazy diamond

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