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CH and lock down unit


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Me today I had 4 1/2 months well managed CH.  I became very emotional about issues  shelved over the years of pain.  It all came bubbling up.  I put a gun to my head pulled hammer and trigger.  The gun jammed.  Two days later got in fight with Son who nearly strangled me to death. Two days later went voluntarily to a lock down psych unit.  The Hospital that treats suicide knew nothing absolutely nothing about CH. I refused their meds they told me I was there over guilt. I could handle that. The psych Doctor asked me what was my biggest stress in my life. I told him give me a minute to think about it.  Then I told him being at the hospital because it is bad on my CH PTSD.  they could not provide me with the D3 regiment.  When I asked for high flow o2 the med doc said their tanks were only 6 lpm not true but he wrote only for 6.  Because of the meds they give out they have to check on everyone every 15 min. during the night I told them the lack of sleep was triggering my suicide headaches.  They would not even ask me more about my headaches.  The first morning I was having shadows I got a tank and mask had no bag. The staff said the tank would not go above 6 I asked then what does the 25 mean.  They answered I don't know. I turned the valve up put the hose to my mouth they told me go ahead knock your self out.  Shadows went away.  I continued to get no sleep and woke up with a 4kip the next day.  In pain and worried because they had no understanding I demanded 02 they brought me a tank and the nose thing.  I told them that would not work.  I turned my head and banged my head on the wall.  I told the staff that sure felt better. I got the tank and turned it  up to 25 and it became a physical fight for me to have the tank and the level. The staff told me they would lose their jobs. if they do different then the written order.  So I asked does that mean the person who helped me yesterday are going to be fired?  No response.  I finally took control of the tank.  Asked for second tank and was denied. And it became a party for them they had  about 10 people all saying i understand your pain and that just pissed me off more.  Then they wanted to calm me down with adavan and wanted to hold me down for the shot.  I told them to get their hands off of me.  The one with the shot said I don't give people in your situation shot without being restrained. I responded then don't give it to me.  They stop trying to restrain me and gave me the shot.  i had to fight with them for me to talk to my wife.  When I did I told her the situation and she then told them your staff does not feel safe and he is not safe so i will be picking him up. the social worker told my wife it does not work that way and she told well it does now.  mind you my wife had just two weeks before had major oral surgery, 16 teeth pulled five implant and complete dentures. The doctor came in and spoke to me so your wife is picking you up I said yes she is and had proceeded to do his paperwork to release me in less than 72 hours and their was not discussion about the mornings happening.  Ok that was quit the mess.  I get out in the shortest time ever they tell me. needless to say I had told the doctor the day before all my home processes.

After being out I remember Larry Schor and call him he puts me in contact with someone here in my state.  Now I am undergoing nero feed back.  And thing are getting much better.  Oh I forgot as soon as I got out having had the shadow took vit m at i much higher dose and was definitely a happy camper even got spiritual and had time with my brother who is no longer with us. nothing like walking out of a lock down unit in to a great trip. 

Life is good thanks for listening and looking forward to Chicago 


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Holy SH*T Pat,,,,,Im here if you ever need to talk.

I can not relate to "Busting" but I have wanted to die in Dec 09, I weighed what was better my son  seeing my suffer or being without a dad. I chose my son. My faith in god helped as well.

I am not here to judge, pass judgement, recommend drugs or therapy.  I am here as a friend. A chronic survivor, to talk too.


please skim through. If one single blog helps you, then It was all worth it...Please have a looksy...PM if you want.

Reading your story brought back alot of memories for me.

If you would have asked me in Dec 09 if I would be here today where I am today in my personal life. I would have told you that your nuts...IM glad I chose to live. Im still sick but i am alive inside...

You are in my prayers,God Bless you


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Wow dude, glad you came out relatively unscathed... 

Sounds like you fought one of the hardest fights the beast puts us through and came out alive...I'm really glad to see you are still here.

Maybe have somebody else hold your gun for a bit?


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Greek tragedies have absolutely nothing over on the cluster patient and their amazing stories of what we can live through!  Shit!!!

I'm so happy you recalled Doc Larry and made that call.  I'm pretty sure he's speaking at this years conference.  Hope you can make it bubblesup.  I'd love to shake the hand of a warrior/survivor!!!!! 


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Google "cluster headache fact sheet" and keep it with you. This is the information used for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK.

Pat, glad you found your way to a therapeutic companion and I hope to see many of you in Chicago.



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I picked up the book and will being reading.,  My above actually occurred in April.  It has taken me this long to process it all, be ok with it and share it.  I had to realize I want to live for me. In order for me  to see mine and others futures.  Still very good management of CH's.

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I started a "Pay It Forward" with the book. This girl I used to communicate with in BC was having a tough time. I bought a copy, wrote an inspcription in the front...Since 100% of the books net profits go to the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinsons you can only by the book once. So  I asked her to read the book, make a donation to the MJJF, and then mail it to any other sick person she knew of anywhere in the world. So it started here in LOndon On, and last I heard was in Georgia.

Each person made a donation and got "something" from the book as I had hoped.

Glad your reading it.

I hope it serves you well.

Hope you feel better too.

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