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  1. Indeed! And this forum has been of great help. Last time your ( @spiny), @Bejeeber's , @ThatHurtsMyHead's and @Pebblesthecorgi's words were very sincere and impactful. Also in the beginning messages of @xxx were also helpful. As @Pebblesthecorgi said " Conversely to defeat depression you must pass back through anxiety" If life tread on my toes i will be here, crying for help. However, i will try to check here, this forum, without any interests just like you people. CU
  2. Hi companions! i am sorry for being late, sorry for as i need your information for my well being and get what i want from you, kind words of help. Was busy at some work trip, got a flu and now started again @xxx REGIMEN. @Bejeeber Thanks for information and suggestions. @spiny You are right, she had sensed it well as we both discuss my condition often so maybe i put the words in her mouth .. i agree with you, yes my symptoms are of a depressed being and i am, and trying to do something about it. Exactly! And now doing something for it, hope it will work.
  3. i forget to mention MEMORY. Since CH came in my life i can see decrease in my recalling moments and happenings, maybe it is not to due to CH. My kids fed up with me, they believe i joke and didn't concentrate on what they do, that i didn't remember what we said and did few weeks ago. My wife earlier thought that i didn't give attention to her past sayings, meaning i didn't like her, however, i thought maybe due to life pressures i forget what she said. But now i see something is bad happening in me: my memory is not working well. Now my wife is agreed with me and she says because i am a depressed personality that is why i can't remember. i am asking you people is it related to CH? So, CH companions you didn't seemed to answer my question........ i was asking that when there is no pain and shadows for years (at least 2 years) but still you are down due to the beast's impact or its presence in brain! @spiny Thanks....! i did D3 regimen for 50 days..... in the past and now D3 gives me little kidney pain even with all the cofactors, omega-3 gives temple pain and multi-vits give me flue symptoms. My body has become now very sensitive to vitamins but as Batch told me about cofactors so i can take them straight for 1 or 2 months without problem. But now given it gap. Hope in coming days give it another try. @Cloudy Thanks....! Could you tell something about meditation, as i have done it now for a few times but still new. i concentrate my attention to my body parts and imagine them as breathing attention gives me headaches because i couldn't stop breathing when i give attention to it, it becomes fast. So i go for concentration on body and body parts to divert my thoughts from "thoughts" and leave breathing on its own. Anything in this regard from your own experience? in free Love to you CH companions.
  4. Hi CH companions! Posting after a longtime. Gone through one more episode of CH, from early August-September (1 month or 40 days). For those who want to know why: Again trigger seemed to be cow related, this time it was cheese cream, ate it continuously for a week or so at breakfast then the attack came. As in the past, when i eat beef steak or barbecue my CH came. This is happening since i hit the age of 30. (Did the tabs: Triptans, Diclofenac sodium misoprostols, Verapamils, Depakotes and D3 regimen. These all tabs lowered the intensity of my CH and for me it seems they, tabs, are the reason to lessen my CH episode to 1 month). So, now to the topic. i have not came across any papers or researches that would say CH symptoms are present in CHers even they don't have the attack/beast/pain and shadows. For example, overall you feel low in life (this can not be common) even though there is no CH and shadows. Or, could you people can say from your experience that you are in full CH remission but somehow you feel down physically and mentally? (Apart from MM busting, which is another reason i am asking the question. As CHers report being fine after taking MMs, though some have not been satisfied with MMs.) Because, when most people take MMs they report satisfaction, as the MMs are a psychedelic they make the CH brain, and mind too, cool down or pain free. So it seems there is something different going on in brain and mind, as it becomes receptive to a psychedelic (LSD and others also), so then it seems CH is more of a "mood type"*/mind disorder than a completely physical/brain problem. Because when i am in remission (for months or years) i feel depressed and anxious or you can say "not to my full social potential", for me the suspect seems the presence of CH, without being present (attack) and without being shadows. i am saying this because before CH came in my life i was doing well if not fantastic. So, any clues and links? And, which anti-depressant is good for a CHer? (i am resistant to anti-depressants not taken them for more than 3 months straight in my life, i want them as i know their positive potential but..... ! i read this long ago to convince myself: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/full-living/201510/5-reasons-suffering-people-don-t-want-try-medication and such writings but it not worked). Since last 8 months gone through Dr. David D. Burns Feeling Good book and knew about CBT's potential, and James W. Pennebaker's writing technique but still stuck..... CBT seems great but can't offered it for many reasons. * Of course it is not a mood problem. Haven't done MMs yet. Last time did cannabis: Where @ThatHurtsMyHead @spiny @Bejeeber and @Pebblesthecorgi were of great support, thanks to them once again!
  5. Well, i forget to mention some points yesterday and there were spelling mistakes. Anyhow, Bejeeber mentioned testosterone spray. I can relate to it as i am experiencing loss of libido since past 2 months, it can be that Panic Attack strikes more to those people who are less sufficient in testosterone. Now i am trying to find testosterone supplements, any guess in this regard? But on net there are also cautions that testo supplements can cause Panic Attacks! Also, yesterday i forget to mention Ginkgo Biloba extract (tablets) it is a nice thing i have a good experience with it. Once when my CH period was over and i stopped taking "all those tabs" i started to feel strange brief periods of brain-fog-type feelings, feelings of as if you ywaned (but in reality you haven't ywaned), feeling of intense low mood. But those were brief came 2-3 times in day for few minutes later my physician doctor subscribed me Ginkgo Biloba for this problem only 8-12 tablets of 40 mg made me to recover from this. Now too i have taken a few Ginkgo tabs. Meaning a few D3s and Ginkgos and regular magnesium oxide are my tabs now and they are showing their result but slowly. ______________________________________________________ Thanks Pebblesthecorgi for giving your time, kind words and advice. You are right my benzo dose was low but the mixture of Verapamil, Paxil and the presence of THC (at that time) was a devastating mixture, it seems. Maybe i was low on magnesium and B12 that is why all this Panicky thing happened. And, your mention of Steroids struck me very much as one of my doctors injected me 2 steroid injections (1 monthly) for my sinus infection just one month before panic attacks, an during those steroids i was taking cannabis, this can be a powerful evidence. Thanks all for your support, never mind my way of explaining things in a mixed way. I will be back.
  6. Hi CH companions! i wanted to reply earlier but thought it would be much better to present a sold view, because my mental health presented different mood levels during this time, so now i am, as i feel, in a better position to tell my story. Try to tell my ordeal in some detail, maybe someone get a gain from it: -Left benzo on 16 December (took it from 15 November) -Left taking Quetiapine 25 mg, on 13 January, just taking 18 of it in total (left it in taper process) -Left Paxil on 22 January, was taking it from 15 November -Started taking magnesium oxide 500 mg tabs (1 morning-1 night) from 20 December, still taking them -Different doses of D3 with calcium and zinc -Took 6 tablets of citicoline sodium 500 mg at different days (heard somewhere that weed reduces this chemical/citicoline in brain) -Tested my vitamin B12 tens days ago, it was on border line (between 200-300 pg/ml), as of now taken two 500 mg methycobal injections. Felt its positive impact instantly My assumptions: As J put it rightly that maybe Zomig interacted with cannabis and created a chemical imbalance, i agree with him because i sensed that Zomig has the feelings of an SSRI-type. Bejeeber too was on the point that benzo withdrawal or tapering is hard, as on 9 December i missed my dose at night i got a panic attack but i didn't took any tab then on evening panic attack came in vengeance this was the worst attack of my panic attacks (a strange and a bad experience of my life). There i decided i have to leave benzo for good. Again, Bejeeber was right! Maybe i was/am in mid-life "existence crisis" cannabis brought it in open in a bad way. As in the past i enjoyed existence questions and liked reading such stuff, but this time even just slight thinking of mysterious universe brought terrifying feelings,,,, culprit was the cannabis! As Spiny said "it is the only connection I personally have to panic attacks". Now i am feeling normal or close to baseline. And, did a experiment: took a few pegs of whisky on two consecutive nights, just 10 days ago, as i heard that it will lessen or interact with THC chemicals (see my confidence that here i am taking risk by taking alcohol to test my brain, means i am becoming good). Albeit i was late, because alcohol lessens (or worsen, it depends) THC impact just after you took cannabis. BUT, still terrified that i might not return to November 2020 Conclusion: Never to touch cannabis and benzo again. In coming days, maybe, i tell you my tips how i combat my CH. Love you friends
  7. Spiny, J and Bejeeber no words left for your kindness in this difficult time,,,,,, at present i figured out that i should only continue Paxil (Paroxetine CR 12.5 mg) without mixing it with other tabs, it seems it is working. Sure, going to update you in coming days! Love, Respect and Happiness to you people!
  8. Absolutely right advice. Yes Zomig can be the cause. Nice words! Thanks a lot J
  9. @ThatHurtsMyHead can you recommend any advice or medication because i am not feeling well, though no panic attacks but feeling down questioning existence and stuff like this..... ?
  10. Thanks J for replying, well i am replying late as i saw no one was is interested in my post,,, so checked it late. Yes! i too had the feeling of being nervous during and after smoking cannabis but after few hours later i am fine. However, this time i took a bit lot and i suspect only cannabis, a year go first time when i smoked a little panic attack came after a week but it was manageable and it went away after some medication. It seems my body takes cannabis differently than majority. My pothead friends say same as you said, they had anxiety and low/high mood but have no panic attacks. It is better for me never to touch it again, as i said earlier it is worst than CH. Now i am becoming normal again, i myself believe that i exaggerated by saying it is worst than CH but no i was right it is really bad than life-hating CH. Regards!
  11. Hi to all CH friends! It has been a long since i posted here. As you may know i am an Episodic, my last attack ended in mid-April 2019. This time CH attacks started on 28 September 2020. But this time i had prepared myself before attacks as i smoke Cannabis. I smoked well before attacks in summer but attacks came, even I ate Cannabis one time during start of a CH attack. This time CH prolonged to 1 month and 15 days (more or less), usually it takes 1 month (more or less). I suspect Cannabis for prolonged CH, as it causes dilation of blood vessels (i have heard), and dilated vessels are not good for CH. I tried Cannabis because i couldn’t find MMs. Now i am pain free, but something strange happened to me. During last days of my CH period i stared Verapamil (40 mg day/40 mg night) for prophylactic, and Zolmitriptan and Diclofenac Sodium for cute treatment. This time i tried oxygen but it not worked for me. The main thing: I smoked a few times (eaten once) during CH period, and when my attacks were vanishing and it had been 15 days that i haven’t touched Cannabis, all of sudden i got a panic attack, i told my physician about it he told me to take Alprazolam 0.5 mg (a benzo tab) and Paroxetine CR 12.5 mg. When i started tapering on Alp life become a hell. Eventually i did, now taking Paroxetine CR 12.5 mg once daily and Quetiapine 25 mg before sleep, since past 15 days. Now life is good, not ideal. Going to taper in mid-February. These Panic Attacks are worse than CH, can you people believe it?? I prayed that let CH come but not Panic Attack! I believe it was due to Cannabis, Panic Attacks came after taking Cannabis 15 days earlier, i think there was Cannabis in my body (its THC compound) and Verapamil further complicated the situation as it also dilate the blood vessels (but Verapamil dilation is not bad for most CH patients). Did this happened to you people? Or someone can give me any advice? Any guess? I need your help! Remember i am not a Cannabis smoker.
  12. To CH companions: Some of you know that I had Shadows (the big devil/CH attack didn’t came)…… well, now I came to know that in these past 2 years (period of no CH attacks) I had Shadows but I was unaware of them, I felt depressed out of nothing, weak body and so on……. I considered them small headaches as for me CH was/is a big thing meaning when it comes it comes with a devastation but now I know: if there is silence it not means that devil is gone, it means devil is here and sometimes moves and disturbs life. I came to knew that this, ruined state of mind and body, is because of Shadow when a month or so ago my Shadows went a bit further….. long story short: since yesterday taking Verapamil 40 MG (day and night/ total 80 MG) and took a 200,000 IU D3 gel tab (will take another after a week), feeling very well, kind of a SSRI effect on my mood, and no disturbance behind right eye, temple, right side brain and upper jaw… Remember I took first 2 doses of Verapamil in 120 MG each. Maybe going to take Verapamil for next 10 days. To Akvia: as CHfather said ramp it up! I agree with it. Because CH is unbearable you have to do something. My advice is take big doses (MGs choice up to you) for a few days then lower it when you see CH going down. And, don’t miss D3. Later if CH is gone then continue your D3 course in normal (any dose that suits you). Plus look for triggers. Read through others topics you will find lot of good advice. To all others present here: learning a lot from you, thanks! PFW to all!
  13. Hi, Siegfried and Wes Helms. To Siegfried: Lot of thanks for useful information. To Wes Helms: Sad to hear about your Lithium story. I have not taken D3 during attacks but as a preventive med, however, in my experience D3 should be taken in less amount with gaps. Search in this regard about D3 dosage. See what suits you. Yes, i am too in planning for MMs, lets see what effect they have on my Shadows and mood. A-Z
  14. How Lithium impacted you? any side effects? (When you took it).
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