I have read some of the stories on here of people describing having to live with the pain of a cluster headache for more than 15 years. My heart breaks completely for you. I am 29 as of yesterday, male, fairly healthy, have a history of addiction and depression although I'm not actively using and I have had cluster headaches twice now. this time worse than the last.
I can remember the first time I felt like something was about to happen, i had pressure in my left sinus, and my eye felt slightly bulged, even though visibly there was no difference between the two. It was more of a perceptual thing, I could feel it. I'm terrible, if I pick something off the ground, instead of squatting down and grabbing it, I tend to bend over like a right angle and snap back up. Blame Elle Woods.
Every time I would bend down the left side of my face would just fire up and my eye felt it could burst. I thought I had some sort of strained blood vessel or something? Eventually over the course of 12 hours my nose began to pour clear water/mucus, my left eye was hooded, red and pouring with tears, and it felt like someone was stomping on my left side of my forehead, cheek and chin.
My initial thought was that I could die at any second. The waves of pain were so severe that I was left honestly speechless. I felt too afraid to tell someone that I was experiencing this pain, I would go completely quiet, or leave the room instead if the pain came on, sometimes I would just put my head in my hands and hold my breath. Eventually i had to call in sick to work, there was no way I could sit at a reception desk with crushing waves of pain. It was constant, from about 9am - 12 midday. I would be allowed perhaps 3 hours of mild rawness on the scalp then from about 4pm - I passed out from exhaustion in bed.
I had smoked tobacco in the past, I had drank alcohol a lot as a kid, I had messed around with sleeping pills, I didn't have the best relationship with sleep - so the more i read, the more i understood that my circadian rhythm, or just my homeostasis in general was out of synch. I came across the definition for Cluster Headaches. When I read the description, I laughed. I think i was relieved initially that at least I wasn't dying. Then I read that barely anything works to cure the pain, and some people have it forever? Constantly??
I booked an appointment with my GP (general practitioner) and they quickly confirmed that i was experiencing my first set of Cluster Headaches. I tried Maxsalt, it didn't work, then I tried Zolmitriptan, that was good, but i could only use it 5 times a day and the relief was short lived. The British medical system doesn't know much about CH they just know the standard treatment and give you medication, they don't suggest any supplemental use of melatonin or 5-htp etc.
The world, being the weird and wonderful place that is threw me a peace offering - an old friend from school was having a gathering with a few other people, we hadn't seen each other in 10 years so it was a fantastic opportunity to catch up, I thought I'll stay as long as I can handle it. During dinner I announced immediately that I had a recent diagnosis of CH, and the host giggled and said he'd "read an article that said Magic Mushrooms cure these incurable headaches, that sounds like what you've got?" -- sure enough a quick Google search, and I had literal pages of anecdotal reports, forums explaining everything from dosage to how to grow your own.
That night I took about 2.5 grams of some dried B+ strain my friend kindly offered around to everyone after the meal.
My pain was gone within an hour and hadn't returned until yesterday. My birthday. March 14th. 2 years later.
This time I was lucky, due to the nature of my current work, I have access to some LSD already soaked and dispersed in some distilled water which is prepared for microdosing. There are many accounts of people busting their headaches with macrodoses of both mushrooms and LSD, but today, I honestly wasn't feeling like I could handle a psychedelic trip.
I've recently started taking Mirtazapine for depression, I don't know if theres a correlation between me starting an antidepressant to the resurrection of my headache?
I decided to start of with some cannabis, as i thought if I'll take the edge off with some Indica, i smoke with Chamomile and not Tobacco. The cannabis made it significantly more tolerable but somehow intensified it slightly, so I knew, this was a Cluster Headache and that I was going to have to act quickly, the medicine I needed was in my fridge. I made the decision to wait until the morning because i had taken my Mirtazapine dose and was worried about any negative interaction.
I spent all night rolling around in bed moaning, wearing a sweatband on my head to apply pressure to my skull and trying to fall asleep naturally, I tried 5mg of Melatonin, that did nothing, I smoked Cannabis again, it spread the pain across my head which was a relief, made the feeling of pain broad and throbbing, rather than narrow and stabbing. Still, this was agony. But it allowed me some sleep.
I woke up this morning at around 5am with full left side burning/stabbing pain, running nose, swollen red eye, tense jaw and that familiar yet foreign wrap around pain that extends onto my cheek and chin, my first instinct was to run into a wall.
I went instead, quickly to the fridge where I administered 18ug of LSD in distilled water. I waited 45 minutes, the pain was still present, I then administered another 9ug making it a total dose of 27ug. After an hour, my thoughts began to slow down and the shock of the pain subsided, I could feel the 27ug creeping in. I felt like I was on a Tryptamine.
I feel like I can function, but there is still some pain. It is very intermittent, and mild compared to if i was not medicated. I still have some nausea and my nose is running as normal during an attack. I can also sense the tension, but the pain is knocked back a lot.
Is this possibly a cure? I may up my dose tomorrow.
Sending strength and empathy to everyone. x
Another 9ug was administered 2 hours ago, I fell asleep within 30 minutes of it's administration and have just woken up now (4:40pm) headache free (slight shadow) -- I am heating up some soup before I get up and shower/get dressed.
5:45pm - another 18ug of LSD was taken.
It's now 7:15pm - I have some pain, but it is a dull ache. I impulsively took 9mg of Melatonin powder in Oat Milk an hour ago.
I think i'm going to wait until everything resets, and try 3 x 50ug of LSD over the course of 9 days.