Snowflake

Thanks alot friend. Means alot to me. Seriously does. Wishing you a lovely day.

Hi there Chris. Thank you so much for taking the time to inspire me in ways to handle my situation. I truly appreciate it very much. I assume this is a safe place to spill my guts without being judged? Here we go: Just like you, my battle started when I was 16. But let's rewind a tad. Between the ages of 10 till I was 14, I had been sexually and violently abused by 3 people. Continously during this patch off my life, holidays, birthdays or any special occasions were taken away from me cos this when it was at its worse. These people are not my immediate family. Anyways, I hid this from everyone up till today as I'm sitting at 45 years old. When I was 19 I couldn't study cos we couldn't afford it. My dad was ill and my mom worked 2 jobs. So I went straight into the job life so to speak, making whatever money I could so we could put food on the table. Age 22 I managed to save up enough to study and achieve a diploma. Things started looking good for change. 2001. New years eve, I was on my way to work. Didn't have ea car as yet so I took a taxi. The taxi back wheel got loose at 140kmph and the entire vehicle rolled over about 3 or 4 times before landing on its roof. I managed to kick out the back glass and climbed out. Helped who ever I could. Cellphones where flung out of the taxi however I managed to find mine to call for help. But just felt so dizzy that I fell onto the road. I could hear something screaching only to find a truck tyre inches from my head. The drive jumped out and rush to me. My shirt was soaked with blood etc. So he just ripped it open to check for injuries. I still can believe that I never had a scratch. It was somebody else's blood. 2011. My 1st hip replacement. 2013. My second hip replacement while my wife was in the same hospital sorting out our second miscarriage. And I know what going through a miscarriage is being a male in a marriage. I have seen also what it does to the female. It's torturous. There aren't words actually and I tried to support from I was. We currently do not have kids and we don't want any. We just have a dog which we latch on to. And I can see that I (as much as I love my dog) am second to him. Which kinda sucks in a way. Moving on, I had been medically boarded from work due to the headaches and hip replacements even though I loved my job. They put it down to me in a very sly way using the fact that they refused to let me carry my O2 to work. I fought them since they 1st brought it up in 2014. But they got me out on 31.03.2021. So yeah my salary took a plunge and I'm left at home staring at the walls. I turned my hobby into a small business which is electronic repairs, however I stopped for a while now since my brother passed last year. Still dealing with my loss. I always wished it was me and still do. To be honest, I'm not sure if others feel this way, but I am not afraid of dying. Actually alot of people are not afraid either. I guess they fear of how they will die. I so welcome it. In fact I had 2 failed attempts at suicide. Yes I'm seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist which I also put on hold since last year. ... And now the CH season starts. I am sorry for the long read and if I said or mentioned anything that is not allowed on here. I am glad I did find this group because I did learn alot, especially the D3 Regamin and O2 treatment. Even though the damaged to my self has already been done. I may require bilateral knee replacements soon as well as the 15 year intervention regarding my hips. I am sure others have been through worse in their own way and path of life and this is not to undermind what you all are going through as well. Just know that I appreciate you all for the advice and direction in managing this condition atleast, even though I have no control over my past. I guess all that's left to say is Thank you all from the bottom of my heart and pain free wishes always.

@Dallas Denny Hi Dallas, Thanks alot buddy. Will check it out.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a simple book of what this condition does to a person for the sake of understanding to everyone else. I know you probably have the beach boys playing in your head right now and I'm not talking about the pain of our condition. 90% of people will never go into this site to understand cos let's face it, they don't care enough to do so. I'm referring to the state of mind in all it's "splender". Anyone else has no filter during CH seasons? I feel like Eminem on steroids and I'm pissing off everyone around me. Obviously I don't care either right now however, people are noticing change in my responses and actions. So I shut up most of the time or try to avoid contact with anyone. Even my spouse. She does know the "drill" however the questions. The simplist of questions can start a fire in my eyes and what comes out the mouth, are stuff that neither of us expects. As for being out on the roads..!! It's like I have a license to be an ass. My D3 update: Sitting at 259. Hits max 3 per day @ 5 to 7 mins aborted with O2. No nocturnal attacks.

Thank you. Yeah I have the tanks, not the concentrator. However I set it at 4lpm depending on where about I catch the beast arriving. I did research on the concentrator and found that is really not for our condition. Still waiting for my blood work results. I got through yesterday with just 1 minor attack. Lasted 5 mins. Lucky me. Does any one know if oxygen helps for panic attacks? I get them every Thursday morning cos my bro passed at midnight on a Wednesday and this keeps playing in my mind. Rushing to the hospital only to find a nurse telling me that 'are you here to see Mr Reddy? You do know that he passed away?' I just grabbed onto the table near me and started hyperventilating. Then she just pointed out the room they moved him to where I found my family crying. My dad in a wheelchair crying. My brother cold as I kissed his cheek. This scenario plays in my head every day but worse on Thursdays. I really don't know how to handle this and I'm afraid to go for my psychology appointments cos that not going to bring him back. It's going to bring back reality 10 fold. Juggling between this and the season is really fk up. I come here to this group cos you guys are the only ones that would truly understand give me sound advice which I appreciate so much. Thank you all fot the support.

I wondered about that cos I only get them when I'm relaxing or watching TV. Even gaming. I have bad Rem. My wife says that my eyes shift side to side while closed extremely fast. Usually at the famous 2am mark. Went and did bloods yest. Waiting for results. I have a feeling my D3 dropped. At the moment I am loading and boosting with prednisone. Seems to be helping. I found that the hits are nothing that 4lpm O2 can't handle within 5 to 10mins for the ones that I do get. I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place. Brothers death and ch season starting. Where do I focus. Even though it's so difficult to.

@BoscoPiko @CHfather @Amholla3Amholla3 @xBossThank you so much. Going to check bloods tomorrow. Need to check my D3 levels. Just had an attack now. Aborted with oxygen. I can feel it starting again. I added prednisone to my regimen just to get through the nights and to deal with my brothers death. It stopped the night attacks. Just 15mg a night. I don't know if calcium is bringing on more attacks. Cos when I take 50 000iu d3, omega 3, and vitamin A, it got me through 2 years. Till now. I feel when I take the entire regimen I have more attacks. Plus the magnesium I get cramps. The boron and zinc also doesn't seem to be helping. I know, whatever works right? My D3 levels in 2019 was 18. So after loading frantically I managed to get to 80 and the cycle stopped. I guess I have to check my levels tomorrow. Completely forgot about that cos the last two years was really hectic seeing to my brother etc. Thanks everyone for the condolences.

Thank you I appreciate it very much

Thanks so much buddy

Hi @BoscoPiko @FunTimes @CHfather Hi there Thank you for the co condolences. I always assumed I would go first since I'm 44 and he was 41. After he passed away I didn't grieve as I had to be strong for my family. It's a few months now so you could be right since the cycle just started. No I have been taking 50 000iu every single day out of panick cos I was driving him to and from his chemo and radiation and no one else could take him. I still am taking the same dosage. I never really noticed any side effects accept for itchiness at my ankle. Attacks are sporadic. One just hit me without warning on Tuesday. Other than that, I am getting the shadow before hand so I have time to abort with oxygen. The other thing is that am on benzos and the likes because of my hip replacements. Yet that doesn't provoke an attack. It's just the element of surprise and we'll I guess the picture in my mind of the last time I saw my brother alive at the hospital. The look he gave me while holding my hand. And I told him don't worry I need to leave now and I will be back first thing in the morning. Then received a phone call to rush to the hospital at 12.20 at night from my sister to come to the hospital. I rushed over and he was already cold when I got there cos they said he passed away exactly at 12 midnight. I have that picture painted in my head cos he was fine when I left the hospital. Made jokes even though the cancer they removed was on the side of his neck. Still he could talk. I'm such a mess. I need to resume my psychology appointments but I'm scared to relive everything. My baby bro. Yet everyone thought he was the bigger brother. Always had my back. Even through all my ch cycles. I wish it was me and not him cos of this nightmare of a condition. I feel lost and alone. I came here to vent a little cos it's only you guys that will understand. I appreciate all of you very much.

Thank you @CHfather I appreciate your reply very much

Hey guys. Hope you all are managing. It's Autumn so the cycle started. Just wanted to know that when you are about falling asleep and get startled for some reason. Is this a trigger? Happened about 3 times now. Also If you are anxious or excited or even playing video games. I found that these contribute to an onset. I found that oxygen at 4litres per minute are aborting my attacks within 7 to 10 mins. If this is the case, does anyone out there think that those oxygen machines would or could help me? Instead of the tanks. Cos my breathing technique is that I wait for the bag to fill, then pull in the oxygen and hold it until the bag fills again. Then repeat. I find that's works great for me. I have been loading D3 50 000iu since January this year. I hope the length of which I am taking the 50k iu is safe Along with the cofactors. I just lost my only brother of 41 years old on the 23rd of November 2023 through 4th stage cancer. I am only getting bits and pieces of the entire funeral coming to me now each morning as I was 'numb' when he passed. Didn't shed a tear. And now I am extremely emotional and I just keep saying to myself that he is ok and still living in Johannesburg I order to get through each day I never had a problem with severe stress bringing on an attack. Anyways I just thought I'd put this on. It would be Interesting if anyone are experiencing the same. Thanks and take care

Hey @jon019 Good to hear from you too. I hope you are ok. I am out of cycle and your response answers my question especially knowing I'm not losing organs lol. But yeah the smell is on and off and is really for me, scary. I also tried some research on it and how ironic that it is only a few people that are affected and is quite rare just like Ch. I must stress that it is a "ghostly" smell. otherwise, I am good. The reloading worked wonders and I was snatched back to life as @xxx reloading schedule is extremely effective. Been pain free for few months now. Sticking to maintaining and just trying to tapper off antidepressants and pain killers which I abused by force over the last good couple of years. It is difficult but I am trying really hard. Just find myself relapsing just as I am nearing my goal because of incidents that occur like my mum got sick and ended up with shingles inside her ear which is rare but I can imagine the pain at her age, then my dad had who also has both his hips replaced as well as both his knees, ended up not long ago in hospital to have his ankle bone scraped down however the wound is taking forever to heal since it's on a movable part, no my brother came down yesterday from Johannesburg to see a specialist to remove a growth on the side of his face which is rather large and near the ear. He goes in on Monday to be admitted to hospital and Tuesday is the rather intricate operation as they need to bring in ENT specialists as well to see which angle to approach this thing from. Then all our vehicles are troubling at once. So all this stress is just making me grab more meds to cope since I don't drink alcohol so the go to thing for me are pills unfortunately. sorry for the long read and take care buddy

Good day Ch Family, I hope you all are coping.. Just wanted to know if anyone here has experienced or is experiencing phantosmia. It means that sometimes now and then you get a smell from within. A smell that only you can smell and it's in a way "scary". I always refer to it as " the smell of death" cos it really scares me each time it happens. it is intermittent. If I had to describe it, it would be like the smell of burnt plastic mixed with harsh chemicals that actually has a frightening effect. Even if you try to smell the strongest of perfumes or menthol rubs, you can't since this smell dominates it. And no one else can smell it. It feels like it is coming from within myself even exhaling through the nose senses it. This is the second time that this is happening to me and wanted to know if it has anything to do with our treatments or condition. I'm on the D3 regimen for a long while now also . Please let me know as this is wierd and terrifying all at once. I hope non of my organs are failing or if it also has anything to do with the fact that I had both my hips replaced sometime ago. scrambling for answers TIA

Hi friends Update as promised. The reloading dose worked. However I pushed it till 14 days instead of 12, then I'm currently maintaining. Pain free for 8 days now so I assume it's gone. Did bloods last week, D3 was at 65. However I aim to bring this figure higher. The O2 technique was working wonders. All in all I'm a happy chappy again thanks to you all and especially batch. Aka @xxx Haven't felt this good since June this year. This regimen is more likely to be a miracle, honestly. pain free wishes and I hope that you all give this a shot. Trust me, it's so worth it. Thanks again and take care. Snowflake