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My story, from headaches to heroin. Help Me!
Junco Partner posted a topic in General BoardSo, I started to get migraine headaches around the age of 12 or 14. My mom took me to the family doctor, who prescribed Vicodin and referred me to a neurologist. I took the Vicodin and immediately fell in love with it. I started to overuse them, running out early, and making excuses as to why they were gone. As I got older, my headaches got worse. In high school I started to buy drugs, and was in full blown heroin addiction by the age of 22. Around this time I got a car for my birthday, and while driving I nodded off and crashed it. I told everyone that I had swerved the car in order to avoid a deer and overcompensated with the wheel. They believed me, but were slowly becoming suspicious of my behavior. Being short a car, I started borrowing my parents' to get to work and school. 8 months later I got into another accident. This time I suffered a severe head injury and was in an induced coma for a week. The doctors did a blood test and disclosed to my parents that I was high out of my mind on heroin. They kicked me out of the house. Next I lost my job. First I started stealing to avoid the dope sickness. I stole from my parents and my best friends. One by one I alienated everyone in my life and ended up homeless. While at the shelter I met a girl thru a friend, who let me stay with her at the university. There I lived with 4 other girls. Soon I got her addicted and her roommates kicked us out. We moved into a small apartment and there we lived in squalor for 2 years. By that time I was supporting my habit writing fake prescriptions, and unbeknownst to me, my girlfriend was sleeping with the drug dealers for bundles in return. I should have known, when visits to pick up the drugs extended late into the night. She was absolutely gorgeous. It was only a matter of time until she would be propositioned. They even had the nerve to ask me first. I made her promise never to do that, and after acting offended for a few hours, giving me the silent treatment, she told me I never had to worry about that. The truth is, I never had to worry while we had money. But never underestimate how far an addict will go to avoid dope-sickness. One day I went to fill a forged prescription and the pharmacist told me that she knew it was bogus. Because I was high, I totally forgot, and one week later, I went back. The same pharmacist was working and she called the cops. I was arrested and went to jail, where I was forced to go into withdrawal. They refused to dose me with methadone. At the time I was taking 120mg of methadone and up to 10 bags of heroin a day. I had also contracted MRSA that same week, which left a hole in my arm. MRSA is incredibly painful. Methadone withdrawal is even worse. Combined, it is a nightmare. To give some perspective, in Orange County Florida, a women died after being denied her dose of 40mgs. I was taking 3xs that amount, on top of my heroin use. My body had stopped producing its natural endorphins, so I had no defense against the pain. During the next two weeks I lost 14 pounds, and went through the worst ordeal of my life. Meanwhile, my girlfriend was without any money, and she finally gave in to the endless propositions. When I was eventually freed 2 weeks later, she confessed. I was heartbroken, I broke up with her and we never spoke again. I got on suboxone and the withdrawals subsided. Next I went into rehab. I wrote a letter begging a certain foundation for help and they offered me a scholarship worth $60,000. I was in rehab for 6 months. At month 5 I was weaned off of suboxone. Again I went into withdrawal. This time it caused me to have a sort of mental breakdown. I started having flashbacks of my time in jail, which left me traumatized. They diagnosed me schizo-affective after I was found wandering around a New Jersey town, babbling on about September 18th, which was in my mind an obsession for some reason. They told me that it went undiagnosed because I was self medicating. I was kicked out of rehab. Not so much kicked out, but I was told there was nothing more they could do for me. They drove me to a psychiatric facility where I stayed for 10 days. I was then flown home and sent to a facility in Charlotte, NC, where I was treated for PTSD and S.A.D. I went back on suboxone but now that I was free from heroin, the headaches returned with a vengeance. I was sooo tempted to use again, but I managed to stay strong. I kept an open mind and went to neurologist after neurologist trying to find relief. I tried all the medications. Maxalt definitely helped as a rescue medication, but I was still suffering. I tried botox, chiropractors, and even flew up to chicago's diamond headache clinic, where I ate nothing but bread and water for a week and slowly introduced new foods into my diet. The idea was to figure out if I had any aversion to certain foods. I discovered that aged foods would trigger my migraines. Cheese, red-wine, left-overs from thanksgiving all contributed to my headaches, so I stopped eating those. My headache frequency slowed. However, I could not seem to rid myself completely of this curse. So here I am, reading about psilocybin, LSD, and other triptamine drugs. I would give anything to be rid of headaches, and I am very interested in the spiritual and mystical aspects of psychedelic drugs. But how do I go about finding them? How do I treat myself with these drugs? I am open to suggestions and would love to talk to anyone who has first hand experience using psychedelic drugs for migraine / cluster headache prevention. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I never had headaches.