Peace with pain

[Tomas]

Hello everyone,

I want to share this message with you in hopes of helping someone find relief. I've followed this and other forums for individuals suffering from cluster headaches for several years, seeking methods to alleviate the pain during my crisis periods, which typically occur every year for a month, with up to three bouts of pain per day, both day and night. I've tried many of these methods, and some have been successful in preventing new pains or stopping ones that are starting, but they don't always work. At the end of these crisis periods, I often find myself implementing several methods simultaneously, hoping that at least one will be effective.

This season, I started with large amounts of water to stop the pains when they were beginning, which worked for about two or three days but then ceased to be effective. I then purchased sumatriptan in drops, which I took up to three times a day along with painkillers, but this didn't always work either. After two weeks, I decided to do something I've also read about in these forums and been curious about since I was very young: MM. It was a significant decision for me because the most altered state of my mind induced by any external agent had been alcohol consumption; I had never experimented with any other substances.

I contacted someone who fortunately is a good, responsible person, well-versed in traditional psychology and complemented with mindfulness. I won't delve into other aspects of that experience, but I just want to share that when I consumed the MM, I had moderate pain, and during the experience, I was able to visualize my pain, accept it, and understand it as part of myself, as a teacher who comes to help me understand my corporeality, to remind me that I am alive and must be, to appreciate the moments when it's not with me because in those moments, I can give my best. In conclusion, I made peace with my pain and accepted that if it hadn't been for it, I would have never lived the MM experience that allowed me to journey into my subconscious and bring order to my mind. My pain has a space in me, coexists with me, and I am capable of accepting it.

The night following the experience, I had several very mild headaches that woke me up, but whenever I focused on my breathing, the pain vanished. The next morning, I had sustained moderate pain for about four hours, but I decided not to do anything to get rid of it and carried on with my family life as normally as I could. It's been three days since the experience, and I can tell you that I haven't had any pain for the last two days.

Sending a big hug to all,

Tomas