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chrisw

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About chrisw

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  1. chrisw

    What would you do?

    yeah,, Ive just been dividing my doses.. It didnt matter, got slammed the next night, paybacks I guess. I hate detox. Its sooo hard.
  2. chrisw

    What would you do?

    Ok so I decided to detox again after a failed attempt a short while ago. I am now down to to 2 verap, and I would take 3mg trex occasionally, anyway, last night I had the first pain free night in 5 months. I slept for 7 hrs straight!!!!! that hasnt happened for 5 months, even with strong drugs. Anyway,, Im not sure if I should keep detoxing right now, and go down on verap today, or keep on the two for a few more days, to see if I can replicate last night. UGGGGGHHHHH, What would you do?
  3. chrisw

    Another fun adventure for my bride

    wow, thats all I can say. amazing
  4. chrisw

    detox hell

    after such a hellish ride the first time, I am debating trying a detox again, and going for next fri. I have been feeling much better, hitting the trex hard and back on the verap. I think my mistake may have been coming down too slowly from the verap. I know you cant just stop, but too slowly is way bad too. That was so bad though, that i am afraid to go through it again. Its funny, a grown woman, scared to death of some pain. I will need to talk it over with my family and ask them if they are ready to put up with me for another weepy week. UHHHHGGGG, decisions decisions.
  5. chrisw

    detox hell

    forget about it. Ill have to get back to it another time. I cant take this anymore. I am going back on the meds. Getting hit everryhour on the hour and o2 is taking at least 40 min to help. I used over half a full tank in less than 12 hrs. Verapamil here I come. I think I am too deeply entrenched in this for the trip to pull me out anyway. Thanks for the support though. :'(
  6. chrisw

    detox hell

    Its amazing that 5 single days can feel like decades!!!!!
  7. chrisw

    detox hell

    Wow, maybe all is not lost. I have taken two and a half full doses of trex. broken up into 5 small doses. I was determined to stop , then got slammed at work, no o2. I never get hit like that, and i am sure its from the imitrex, rebounding. I dont usually take trex very often. I stick to o2, and verap, pred, etc. Maybe if i can just wait till friday or so, i can still bust, as long as i can stay off the trex. Ricardo, you have given me hope
  8. chrisw

    detox hell

    thats great ricardo, now i dont feel like everything is lost. But I do however have a very limited supply. although I may have found a new supplier. anyway. here I go, on a new day,, med free, first though gotta call and order a new tank. :-*
  9. chrisw

    detox hell

    thank you all for the nice words and support. now that the pity party i gave to myself is over, I realize I have to make a decision. I have to either start detox from scratch, or say forget it for now and go back on prevent meds for a while. Last night I said to myself, since I gave in and took trex yesterday, Im taking more and getting some sleep. Well, at least it gives me 2hrs of pf tiime. So anyway, I feel a little better today, at least I blasted my high kips with trex last night and dont feel so much like I got my ass kicked. I am still not sure what I am going to do. If I had courage, I would go and throw away all of the trex in my cabinet to get rid of the temptation. lol    I truly want to thank you all for your suggestions, and kind words. I nearly had a breakdown yesterday, and being a typical woman, I was trying not to burden my family and husband too much. Well, I realzed I should take some support where I can get it. whether it be on clusterbusters, ch.com, fb, or most especially, at home from my family.    Im still not sure what im going to do about busting, if I stay off the trex and meds, I can do it on sat. then next friday after that.   thanks again guys. everyone is the best most helpful people in the world.
  10. chrisw

    detox hell

    thanks I have a vibrator like that, maybe I will try it tonight. I keep thinking how fullfulling it would be to wait until it got real bad and shoot myself in the head. Its all i think of, I cant do that because of my kids and husband, but if I didnt have those responsibilities, BAM. This isnt living, this is worse than death.
  11. chrisw

    detox hell

    So I am trying to detox for a bust on Fri, I got through the first two nights, then last night, I got hit so hard, then my O2 wasnt helping at all, during a Kip 9-10. I started having a panic attack, sometimes, I feel like I cant breathe with that mask over my face. I know its stupid, but its psychological, and it only happens when I have been on it for a long time, and its not helping. I gave in and took a little trex. I know its still only five days, and that should be enough time for busting. I was shooting for seven days, but I dont know if I am strong enough to do this. I mainly get hit during sleep, and attacks are getting harder and harder. I am getting them about 20 min after I fall asleep all night long. So all in all I am prob getting about an hour and a half of sleep every nigh, in 20 min segments. I dont even know why i am posting this, I guess, I just feel so sad and depressed, I dont know if I am strong enoughto do this, and to be quite honest, i am getting real tired of this fight. Busting was my last option, I tried the D3, got my levels to optimum level, didnt help, meds that used to help are becoming less and less effective. If I cant muster up the strength to go tonight through friday, drug free, I think its time to throw in the towel. Where do you guys find the strength? Even though my meds werent real effective, I cant notice a real difference without them, and I am in hell, and even my O2 doesnt seem to be helping like it did when on preventative meds. HELP
  12. chrisw

    Prednisone

    yeah, it makes you nuts for sure.
  13. chrisw

    Prednisone

    Yeah, we have this really long love/hate relationship. I hate the shit, but I do love the 3-5 night break it will SOMETIMES give me. BTW, one time I dislocated my husbands shoulder when he asked me to give him a hand getting up from the couch while on pred. I have superhuman strength and I almost threw him across the room. He was like "what the hell is wrong with you?" I kept saying, "Im so sorry, its the steroids" Ricardo, may I ask, why are you even taking them, I thought you were a buster, and had great results with busting? I am just curious.
  14. chrisw

    Prednisone

    Ricardo, In my many, many experiences with pred, it will stop working after the big doses wear off, like the fifth or sixth day and then the HAs will come back. Personally I get my worst hits at night during sleep, so I will get hit like I was getting hit before I started it. They dont seem to be any worse than they were before I started the pred though. The shadows, however seem to be worse on Prednisone, and they kind of change, in a funny way. Like they radiate down my nose as well as the eye and head area. This is all in addition to the weight gain, swelling of face and legs, racing heart, and general crappy feeling . But I have however, many times taken it even sooner than two months apart. Those five days of vacation or so, are so tempting that the side effects seem worth it at the time. Good luck. :-*
  15. chrisw

    For the "HARD CORE" sufferer

    very very nice, with that, I could possibly stop explaining to people why I have an oxygen tank in my living room. I could just say, I like the lamp!!!
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