lucidity-

I too noticed the ex member status with concern, and hope and pray that all is well.

Brenda: I think it is nearly unconscionable that your Dr. laughed when you asked for oxygen. Personally, I would never go to that doctor again. Bonkers, MJ, and jayhedges all agree on the value of oxygen, and from what I've seen, so does nearly everyone else on the board. I would also get some RC seeds ordered and on the way in case you decide to go the busting route. If you're really curious about the different meds (lithium, prednisone, topiramate, etc.) I personally recommend using a site like rxlist.com to access the drug monographs and focusing specifically on the mechanism of action. Most of these medications work to try to correct imbalances of certain neurotransmitters or corticosteroids, etc. Basically, something is out of balance in your system and the medications are trying to fix that. Unfortunately, we don't yet have good technology to figure out what's going on neurochemically - imaging technology like MRI or SPECT only shows us structural abnormality or indirectly metabolism, doctors can't ethically take a biopsy of healthy brain tissue for lab analysis, and most scientists think the recently developed saliva analysis is hooey. I would also recommend you take up jayhedges on his offer to help with an oxygen setup. Other members have found him to be very helpful in this regard. I wish you the best of luck in finding peace and getting pain free days.

I hear you. I'm probably migraine, not cluster, although it's an open question, and I won't really be able to figure it out unless I get another episode of attacks, and frankly, I'd rather stay attack free than be able to say with certainty which it is. My intellectual curiosity doesn't stretch to welcoming that level of pain. Certainly, if they made hallucinogens prescription, I would pity any fool who wished CH or migraine on himself as a way to get a script for them, and am quite certain that after the first attack he'd be begging the doctor to take the pills back if it meant losing the disease, no matter how wonderful the trips were. Pain is an evolutionary mechanism that gets organisms not to do things that lead to genes not being passed on, and it is extremely efficient at it. To our dismay, it also gets triggered for a host of other reasons.

Bejeeber: *Nod* Suffice it to say, if BOL were put to a vote, I'd vote yes, despite my personal preference, because it's the "party position", and I understand the need behind that position. Getting people pain free is simply the top and absolute priority right now. Dealing with any other issue can be the "next thing on the agenda."

Same for me. =(. I'll certainly always have a warm place in my heart for, and be willing to dance with, these substances. All I have to do is remember how I felt with my toes sunk into the wet grass, feeling the pouring rain run over my face, watching the entire sky change color eight times a second, not just yellows and blacks and blues, but oranges and greens and purples, while the lightning flashed wildly, connected to the universe and the divine, certain that the world was good, and so was I. And just to clarify, my "Do your research..." quote is what I'm anticipating the scientific community will say to requests to do research with hallucinogens if BOL gets approved, it wasn't something I was saying, in case there was any confusion.

Denny, I agree it would be awesome if we could get every CH PF days. However, I think it would be a loss if that means the "magic" of the psychedelic experience is lost in favor of a "normal pill". I understand why people here are very careful how they advocate; there's enough stigma without being labelled druggies or hippies. However, if, as Bob suspects, many CH also have PTSD from their years of intense suffering (chronic and wracking pain, misdiagnoses from doctors, side-effects from treatments, disbelief and non-understanding from friends, family, and coworkers, etc.), I think there's a real benefit lost by the switch to BOL, because I don't think we're going to see the same sense of wellness with BOL we see with psilo or LSD. Only time and clinical trials / accumulated experience reports will tell. But I suspect that once BOL is available, the tiny window of opportunity to research with LSD/psilo/MDMA will slam shut. "Do your research with BOL; are you a pleasure-seeking druggie hippie or a scientist?"

Cassidy: In this case, it was, at least initially, the pressure in the tank ruptured the tank. Gay-Lussac's Law states that by increasing the temperature of the gas, the molecules' speeds increase meaning an increased amount of collisions with the container walls. There's a good reason aerosol cans say do not dispose in fire, do not store in heat above X degrees, etc. Depending on the size of the tank, and the size of the car, and how airtight it was, the materials comprising the interior may have flashed when the atmospheric concentration of oxygen shot up. For example, in a atmosphere with a high enough concentration of oxygen, flesh itself will burn. Take a look into Apollo 1. This is used as a weapon in Kim Stanley Robinson's excellent Mars trilogy - the bad guys ramp up the oxygen in the tent colonies and send in incendiary flares. Erudition is "profound scholarly knowledge."

Bonkers, I bow to your superior erudition and greater precision.

My point is absolutely to be careful when using oxygen; note that I said it is safe for people. I was trying pretty directly to draw the connection between it being explosive and people smoking while using it. To be clear: I absolutely and totally do not discourage the use of oxygen! In the first place, I am not a doctor, and I would not tell anyone to go against their doctor's orders. In the second place, I think both the short-term and long-term side-effect profiles of oxygen (which, as far as I know, are both zilch) is really, really preferable to most of the alternatives (just a few I've seen recently are more headaches, worse headaches, and the need for hip replacement.) Getting out of bed in the morning is a risk; you can fall and break your neck. The risks of cars or street-crossing would be totally irrelevant to the thread; note that I was quoting Bonkers, who had just called oxygen innocuous. My gig is certainly not to disagree or make obscure points, although my points will probably be obscure at times because that's just the way my mind works, I'm curious about a lot of different things, and I remember a lot of random trivia. If any individual feels that I'm getting old, they are more than welcome to ignore me. I feel comfortable given the number of 'good point' posts to my credit that the general sentiment is not that I'm here to be disagreeable or show off. One of the reasons I love this board so much, and took to it so quickly, was that there was a welcomeness to different points of view, instead of the usual flood 'me too' and 'i agree' posts. Also, when there is debate, it seems rational and well substantiated, instead of the usual ridiculous flame wars full of ad hominem attacks and unsourced "facts." Sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way. I promise my intention in being here is not to be President and Founding Member of the Piss Off Jay Hedges Today Club. From everything I've seen, you've been a wonderful help to many people, Carole comes to mind off the top of my head, and I do recall that you offered to help me get oxygen if I wanted to give it a shot. As a final note, I wasn't trying to make this a pro-oxygen / anti-oxygen / let's take sides and circle the wagons thing. I think it's a statement about where our culture is today that people so quickly frame things in those terms.

Let's not forget that oxygen, while safe for people, is not without its risks. It's highly explosive. I've heard stories of people with a cigarette in one hand and oxygen mask in the other. Also, a two-second search on google news produced this story: GULFPORT, MS (WLOX) - Gulfport firefighters battled a house fire on 31st Street late Wednesday afternoon. Residents nearby said they heard a loud boom around 4pm. Police believe an oxygen tank exploded, causing the fire. It's believed one person was inside the home. An American Medical Response ambulance was on the scene. I'm sure there's lots more every year.

I couldn't agree more, Darrin. The anger, resentment, fear, and depression that chronic pain can cause just erode the quality of life you could enjoy in PF days. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear You can substitute any negative thing for fear.

*giggle* I just got this very amusing visual ala Austin Powers. The scene: The Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swingers Club. In walks a man dragging behind several huge metal tanks. The crowd goes wild! "Ja-ay Hedges, he's the MAN, for us!"

I definitely agree that the body is wise beyond what we give it credit for. That said, I think it is also important to remember the mantra correlation does not imply causation. The horrible pain of cluster, lack of effective treatment, and loss of control leaves patients desperate for *something* they can pin the headaches or lack of headaches too. Your son starts wearing a new aftershave, and you get a Kip 9 for the first time in 2 years, and you ban the aftershave, because you're certain the scent is a trigger. You go on the Atkins diet, and a cluster terminates, so you stay on the Atkins diet for the rest of your life, certain that it's the miracle anti-CH diet. Et cetera.

You're thinking of capsaicin, davidj35. It's the chemical that makes peppers hot, in pure form. Take a look at this quote from Wikipedia: "Clifford Woolf, the Richard J. Kitz Professor of Anesthesia Research at Harvard Medical School, has suggested using capsaicin to deter abuse of certain extended-release drugs such as OxyContin and Ritalin.[38] ... Anyone then chewing it, snorting it, or injecting it would be exposed to the full power of the chemical. 'Imagine snorting an extract of 50 jalapeño peppers and you get the idea." Basically, using it as an abortive is doing this on purpose. As Bob Wold says, it's *very* *painful*. Definitely, definitely not a preferred treatment.

As far as how to make the symbol, that's keyboard specific. On my laptop, function+; yields a plus. Function+p yields a minus. I've never made a distinction when typing the nickname, only when saying it: lucidity minus, not lucidity hyphen or lucidity dash. Of course, I just had to geek out. Used the CODE function in Excel to analyze the output of function P and the output of the key next to 0 on the top row. Both are ANSI character set 45. Even the much more comprehensive Unicode, which has literally hundreds of thousands of characters, uses a single character for both, U+002D: Hyphen-minus. And actually, the Palestinian Liberation Organization is the #1 google result for PLO, but I knew that wasn't what you meant. I also read the list at acronymfinder.com, but none seemed correct in context. Even urbandictionary.com doesn't have Peace Love Out. It must be original from your daughter or her clique. I, too, can be very sarcastic. And honestly, I'd never actually get physical with someone. I'd just give you a Look. *arched eyebrow* Of course, with 26 years of marriage under your belt, you could probably out-Look me without trying. And absolutely, all in good fun.

The hyphen and the minus sign are actually the same symbol, so you can't really misspell the handle, only mispronounce it. MBSR is about more than anger management, but anger management is certainly a part of it. You'll notice that I'm answering your rhetorical question literally. You'll find I almost always do this. I'm probably one of the most literal people you'll ever meet. What does PLO mean, even google is stumped. Why do I have this urge to shove you in a snowbank with a smile?

jay: because love is complex. Check out this comic http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmingle2.com%2Fdating%2Fphases&h=dd97e I used The Decline as my desktop background for a few weeks.

One more thought. You are certainly justified in getting angry when people trivialize the living hell that this disease can turn your life into. But you can make a conscious choice not to let them make you angry. There are techniques available to help with this, including emotional shifting and separation of thought from emotional content. Thoughts are just thoughts, we can chose to observe them and let them go, moving on to the next thought in moment to moment awareness, although this takes practice. If there is a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class in your area, I would absolutely recommend it to each and every clusterhead. I am very familiar with the program through my work, and have taken it myself, and am happy to discuss it in more detail with anyone. This website can help you find a program: http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/mbsr/ To me, if you let others make you angry, you let them win. By refusing to get angry, you reassert your power to determine your own experience. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A common thought that I've seen in this thread and others is that clusterheads get very angry when strangers say "oh, I know what your headache is like, I get bad headaches too." I too get angry when people tell me to just put my head on my desk for 5 minutes. But I'd like to point out that headache is right there in the name of the disease, and this invites the comparison. I mean, which sounds more threatening, if you know nothing about them - "cluster headache" or "migraine"? I would lump "cluster headache" in there with "caffeine headache", "tension headache" and "sinus headache" - all just types of headache - and figure that migraine must be special because at least it gets a special name. I think we should encourage the medical community to rename the condition "Cluster Skullfµck". If that seems too offensive, "Suicide Headache" is another viable option. "Cluster Headache" is just too cuddly. It's like calling the Prince of Darkness the Baron of Twilight.

Amen, Darrin. As I titled my share your busting story thread, you have nothing to lose but your chains.

tingeling: Are you saying we're straight-coat wearing basket cases?

That said, there are often a few head and tail rooms included in the contract, so it's still worth waiting for an answer from the CB admins to see if a) they have them in the contract and there are any open. The hotel probably won't tell you that, because they'll assume those rooms are for the use of conference staff.

Darrell: Call and talk to the hotel directly. The answer to that question is going to depend more on occupancy the night of the 23 than the contract with clusterbusters. I worked in hotels for many years. Also, check around on the website for the hotel brand and sites like priceline and hotwire before you book. It might also be cheaper to check out of that specific hotel and stay at a nearby hotel.

Just a quick note, if you haven't wandered over to erowid.org yet, it's well, well worth a visit.

Carole, from what I have read, LSA, which is what you're getting from your seeds, works quite well. That being said, in descending order, I would say, from what I have read, LSD, psilocybin, and LSA are "best". I would put the drugs in the same order as far as intensity of experience when using at superbust levels. LSD works at microgram doses; there are very few other substances that can be said for, carfentanyl is the only one I can think of off the top of my head. That said, with enough psilocybin you're going to fly. My egomelting trip was from psilocybin. I imagine DMT might work even better, but that's almost impossible to find and there have been very limited reports. At this point, I wouldn't worry too much about "best." I would focus on optimizing the bang for your buck from the seeds. I think the logical step beyond that would be becoming an amateur mycologist, but that's a step to seriously consider. Others will chime in.