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SpidaH

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SpidaH last won the day on September 15

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  1. Thank you for the response CHFather. By the way, I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with this monster. It must be incredibly tough for you to witness an innocent child being tortured, but obviously, you're doing what you can to learn and get armed with knowledge. I wish you the best. I'm not at all new to the monster, but I'm very new to researching and even talking about it, so any comments, like your reality check to me, are really appreciated. Been anxious about the "what-ifs" lately.....and it's spiralling me down. Your comments have eased my mind a bit.....and really, it's made me just now sit back and realize what a wonderful world this really is. A complete stranger halfway across the world, just answered my fear-based question, and I feel better. That's pretty freakin wild. Thank you again.
  2. If I am understanding this correctly--- some ECH sufferers have taken verap, stayed on it for extended periods, even off cycle, and when attempting to go off verapamil, get hit with a new cycle, or even turn chronic? This is my first time ever trying verap, 3 a day (I think they're 80mg each) ...i stopped them, when I thought I was done with the current cycle, got hit that same night, went back and been pain-free since going back to 3 a day......reading some here, I'm becoming quite terrified to stop the verap. If this is the case, I'm gonna curse the day I ever swallowed a verapamil. I'd much rather stay fairly predictably episodic, suffer thru 6-10 weeks of hell, with 2-3 years pain-free bliss, than shave off a week or two of a cycle to now be making a choice to live with the verap side effects, or be unpredictably episodic or even chronic. Pretty sure verap aborted my cycle a couple weeks early at the most....but at what cost?
  3. Thanks guys. Pain free again last night. Still fearing a "slap back" when i come off verap, as I've got a constant hint of shadow....
  4. Last night again--- pain free! I think (hope) I am done for a couple years. I consider myself incredibly lucky in a lot of ways. One is knowing/hoping my shadows will be gone for a couple years. If I disappear for a couple years, just know you all have helped a ton, even just by knowing there are people that understand this thing, and there are people helping people and doing incredible thngs making traction toward a brighter future. And isn't Batch an incredible man! Holy! It's like he was put on this earth to help all of us. Just incredible. Wishing all of you peace and serenity and all the joy and happiness possible. Goodness knows you've all earned it!
  5. Skittle farting unicorns Hahahaha. Nice! It's funny, kinda, how things are so opposite here in Canada, compared to some states. Canada-- drinking and driving pretty much equals murderer, but smoke pot as much as you want, no biggie, cops don't care as long as you don't drive high or ripped out of your face... In some states-- smoking pot gets you slammed on the hood of a cop car, but walking down the street with a beer, or writing country songs about having an ice cold beer on the dash on the highway, is just fine and dandy.... Just an observance, since we're on the topic.
  6. You folks, are awesome. I mean it. **An update---last night, no boomer...not even a twinge... just the "head in a vise" feeling I've had from verap, and my neck pain (from rear ender car accident that's always there) getting worse. I went back to 3 verap a day. Convinced, it's what halted my cycle. I had 4 nights with no blasters. Weened off verap at one a day---boomer, next day, back to 3/day, slept like a drunk baby Not wanting long-term verap, but I'm going 2 weeks, starting yesterday, win or lose. If I stop the verap and the bastard returns (it shouldn't, my cycles are typically not longer than 10 weeks, I'm on my 7th, avg cycle is 6 weeks), then I'm gonna dose the fungus.....that i may or may not have acquired. As well as try the many options mentioned here, by you wonderfully helpful folks! I've read the banner at the top, but am wondering--- how do folks start? 1/8th of a gram? ...1/16th..? I should say--I have a history with the zooms, back in my 20's pre-CH, recreational....very, recreational. The FunGuy and I got along really well for a time......so stating that--I'm not afraid of the mushroom, but i also don't want to trip. I had my trips long ago, been there, done it, got enlightened, enjoyed it, but now that I'm a responsible adult, with some amount of anxiety that comes with providing for a family and whatnot...I don't wanna trip out PS--- any males that have taken verapamil.......is it me, or is it like a low-grade cialus/viagra? ....it's kinda one side effect my better half might be enjoying ...but maybe it's in my head...no pun intended. Might be too much information...but it seems like the verapamil is making me horny like a jackrabbit lol
  7. I really appreciate you taking the time write up a detailed helpful response Jon. The quote above, not gonna lie, scares the living shit outta me! I'm not sure I'm strong enough to deal with chronic. That was actually my apprehension for pharma treatments, like the verapamil--- the possibility, since so much of this seemed to do with our own bi0-clocks, and the fact that I don't seem to be able to "get away with not having one a night" once I'm in a cycle....it's like getting away with one is an attempt to cheat the devil, and he pays it back, often with two a day, just to catch up, so i never have a balance in the bank....therefore, the thought is real to me, that if i use ways of avoiding individual blasters, or an entire cycle.....this shit may go chronic. I really can't have that. It takes a lot of strength to go 6-12 weeks....365 days.....I dunno how you do it. You must have an amazing outlook on life and positive supportive people surrounding you.
  8. I'm new here too, but not new to CH. I'm 47, got my first batch around 24yrs young. From what I'm reading, many of you can predict when a cycle is coming. I can either consider myself lucky (I truly feel for chronic sufferers. You must be some of the strongest humans on Earth!) , or unlucky, because my cycles, or clusters, come at varying times. My trigger seems to be--when I have the most going on in life, positive or negative. My last cycle was in June of 2018--likely my worst ever. I was recently divorced, financially broken (but still had and have a decent career), staying with a friend, so kinda homeless, but not really.....but to have my first roommate at 44 was kinda....weird, and I was a bit ashamed of my situation..so big life change, and whammo! My friend who owns a fishing camp, more or less saved my life...I was down...hard. Called me and offered me a cabin cuz "sounds like you need to just go fishing." he said. 3 days, 3 nights, where my only "responsibility" (no kids of my own) was to catch fish, have a couple drinks and sleep to do it all again, was a total decompression---I had my last 2 "Blasters" that put me as close to hell as a man or woman can get, which signals the end of my cycle---the two real 10 out of 10, make your legs numb, make you moan in agony---Blasters. I'm 6 weeks in to my current cycle, started soon after I proposed to the most amazing woman I've ever met. So lots going on, but almost all positive..aside from other stressors like work and covid (in Canada, it...just.....won't....end) Long story short-- 25 or so yrs in-- this is my first ever attempt at treating it--verapamil and rizotriptan (dissolve pills). As I typed that, i can't even believe I've had too much pride to try and treat it......and after rizotriptan calming a lot of them from 8 of 10 and 10 of 10 to like 5 of 10 on the pain scale ...I don't know how in the #### I made it through cycles in the past. Anyhoo, I found for me, the Verapamil did sweet eff a, until 2 weeks in (I started when I was already 4 weeks in...I'm really dumb and stubborn) ...so it worked, I had two (what I thought were) final blasters to sound off the end.... had 4 nights pain free CH free (but weirdly a never-before lingering mini CH 24 hrs a day, on a 1 of 10 pain) so I dropped from 3 verap a day to 1....and boom. Last night, a good 6 of 10 attack--rizo down the hatch, the rest is history....but MAN was I pissed!! I thought I was done! From now on, I'm taking the lingering "punched in the eye" 1 of 10 to mean, it's not done, stay on the verap
  9. That's interesting. When I'm getting one, whether it's the rizotriptan or instinct, I dunno, but I crave water, so I sip it constantly, until the attack has passed. ...then I get woken up to pee 3 times...much nicer then the flaming fingernail of Satan lol Good luck and keep up with whatever is working!
  10. Thanks Scott and Bejeeber Me too! ie-- "one ultimate blaster at the end". That is often the signal the end is within a couple days----a succession of true 10 out of 10, hell raineth upon thee, 'ultimate blasters' that have me pleading with God (and I'm not religious) signaling the end. Sorry..I'm smiling and laughing, I think, because misery loves company. It's so nice to have people that understand this "thing" So, same as you, I had a real (two actually) blasters, which told me, that's it, I can ween off the verap. This is my first time trying verapomil. Well the one last night after sleepng 4 nights with no attacks...that's what's concerning. Also worth noting--- I took melatonin last night, 1st night in 4 I like the suggestion of wriiting down possible triggers etc. I have been taking note of attack times start and end. First time ever, because traditionally, I didn't need to---if I was 11:01 pm, it was 11:01 Pm til I was done, apart from the final blasters, which I could never ever get away from.....it's the weirdest thing---i can never get away with no blasters at the end...If I OD'd on pain killer, like rizotriptan, timing it perfectly.....the devil would say-- "nuh-uh boy, I'ma hit you at 3am then.....no free rides asshole." Thank you three for the comments and valuable information! I'm going to try the Vitamin D3. Have not tried O2 yet, and definitely I normally stay away from energy drinks.....but perhaps not anymore. But my attacks, the worst ones anyway, come and crack me one after I'm sleeping......however, all of you know that there are worse things than being jacked up on energy at 2am....ummm, like for instance---being tortured behind your eyeball What a messed up deal we got eh folks? I'll say it again though, it is nice to be among people that know exactly what it is, and I don't have to explain it to friends and family....only to hear- "Oh yeah, I get bad headaches at work too, it sucks kinda bad" ..yeah, sorry, you don't get it my friend
  11. Hey folks, I just joined, so I first want to say- sorry if this is redundant to the veterans, as I havent read through all the threads here, yet. Second, I'm not sure the etiquette here, but I tend to swear and use harsh language, so sorry for that, in advance. Also, would like to thank the founder of Cluster Busters. Mainly, for bringing some awareness to the world, for creating a (I don't like the term, cuz it makes me feel I've got a problem hehe) a support group, for people that go through the same thing that made me feel like a "freak", that I hid from everyone, for so long. I'm a 47 year old man, living in Southern Manitoba, Canada (about 40 mins south of Winnipeg). I'm a smoker, a joker, but not a midnight toker....anymore. (quit that when i was in my 20's). I'm an avid fisherman, I have amazing family, friends and a supportive caring sexy woman to go through the rest of my life with, God willing. I'm not a real religious man, but I often think so much beauty, awe and wonder, simply could not have happened "by accident". I have had episodic Cluster Headaches since about age 24. At first--I thought I had a cavity/toothache, affecting that nasty little bastard nerve we all have come to get familiar with. ...then as the next cluster of attacks (I don't call them headaches, because I feel it's misleading the public), I was convinced I was dieing of a brain tumor. Being a stubborn male....I avoided medical help, and thought I'd just die like a man, if that was how I was gonna go. (stupid, I know). Then I snapped out of it and sought out medical attention. It was the typical set of mis-diagnosis, running about 5 yrs til I got a doc that was aware of CH. Fast forward to shortly after proposing to my fiance, on August 3rd, 2021----the beginning of my personal torture interrogator showed up, after a 3 year hiatus from hell. I scrambled to get some old prescriptions filled--- Verapomil and Rizotriptan. The rizotriptan does reduce the torture, from a 10 of 10 pain, to a 4 of 10, IF I TAKE IT IMMEDIATELY at the very start.....however, like most---my torture iterrogator shows up roughly at the first onset of my deepest sleep, so by the time I wake up from pain, it's already at 3 or 4.....and the Rizotriptan has to climb a steep hill to catch up, only making it to where it's at an 8 of 10 So I was at the end of the cluster period, last Wed, when i had my last one, then went 4 nights, pain free! Hazzahhhhhh!!! I'm done!!!! .....or so I thought.. I weened myself off the verapomil, from 3 pills daily, to 1, yesterday....well hello you sick sonofabotch! Woke up last night with a 4 of 10---rizo down the hatch...you folks know the rest---wait for relief...pace.....hold my head.....shake my fist at my own brain....curse human existence.....wait...pace....stomach bloating--sign of rizo coming into to help....GI tract protesting the drug...too bad GI tract, there's a bigger fight, deal with it...pacing waiting.....annnd relief. So-- to anyone that has used verapomil---- should I be concerned about stopping, for fear of rebound cluster period??! This scares the shit out of me--the thought that the drug that seems to have turned off the attack cluster period (usually 6 weeks for me, which is about now)...could actually mess up my clock, to spur on the beginning of a "new" 6 weeks of battling a ####ing demon? How long after you feel verapomil has aborted an episode, do you stop taking it? I don't want to take verapomil forever...it messes me up bit--tired, constipated, dizzy, unmotivated Any feedback would be phenomenal For anyone new to this condition--- stay positive. I know it's tough when you're in the thick of it and you're on a total of 40 hours of sleep deprivation over the last 5 weeks...but stay positive. Know this--- everything happens for a reason. I believe I suffer from this, so I can appreciate everything that's good in life, just that much more, once hell has passed. And we only visit hell......so don't do anything stupid that may put you there permanently. Get help, be kind (I know it's tough when you're in the shit times) but be kind. Most people don't understand what this is, so don't hold it against them. It's not an easy thing to imagine--- a hot poker searing and pushing your eye out, when it's labelled a "headache". So help them understand, be patient and know it will pass. Cheers everyone, and thanks for listening.
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