MoxieGirl Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I had posted this back in April and it didn't get a lot of comment. Not that I'm craving your adoration or anything like that. But am curious what people think. Should I not give up my day job? MG Longing to Escape.. Today is like any other Yesterday, today & tomorrow, all blur together Day in and day out, everyday the same I wish I could escape this game. The Beast visits most when least expected My face drains of colour, and I feel quite infected Into one eyeball, always just the one, the Demon comes Blinding and piercing like I’ve been poked hard, with a thumb My eye seems to freeze as if turned to ice And the pressure builds as if placed in a vice My nose starts to run and my eye begins to tear As my body is gripped with fear Red hot nails, they pierce and twist in my eye The burning is such that I wish to die Knives cut and rip through my skull As I pace the room and bang my head on the wall I can feel my cranium crack As all my world turns to black For one hour or maybe two How long it really lasts, I dare not tell you For all that time, I pace and I walk Sat on my bed, back and forth I rock I suck on oxygen and drink caffeine I can be quite snappy and downright mean But eventually the nails are removed, as are the blades And the terror within, all but fades I am drained, I am spent My energy is at zero percent I need water, I need food But instead, I lay here unable to move I take one deep breath, and maybe two Before the next sensations ensue This is when the true crying begins As my body shakes from my bones to my skin I am racked with hot convulsions in wave upon wave To this terror I am now but a slave Eventually, even this fades to a whimper As my body begins to shiver Wrapped in a blanket I raise myself up Finally sloshing some water into a cup Today was like any other Yesterday, today & tomorrow, they all blur together Day in and day out, everyday the same Oh, how I wish I could escape this pain. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cory68 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Wow.....speaking as an English / AIS Reading Teacher.....that is pretty darn good...writing.....is both rewarding and healing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try to get it published. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psiloscribe Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Yes Moxie, I like it a lot.I may print it up or display it at the conference in some way if you don't mind. Let me know how'd you'd like me to attribute you as the author if it's ok with you. You can do that in PM or here, whatever you'd like. Bob 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoxieGirl Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Thank you both, I'd be delighted to have it at the conference. Was hoping I'd be able to attend this year, but just not in the cards I'm afraid. Bob, please kindly add: by Renée Elizabeth Mineart. MG 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1 Last Song Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Wow! Reading that is a real reminder to me that I'm not alone. Sorry you must deal with the same Beast that also loves to torture me. Thanks for sharing ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 this is great MoxieGirl ! I like this verse particularly, maybe worst than the pain: And the terror within, all but fades 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoxieGirl Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Thank you Purple I think my favourite verse is: This is when the true crying begins As my body shakes from my bones to my skin I also like hope that the reader is lulled into the story with a twist at the end. It starts with.. Today is like any other Yesterday, today & tomorrow, all blur together And hopefully reads like all the cluster attack is an exception to a normal day. But then it ends with.. Today was like any other Yesterday, today & tomorrow, they all blur together Day in and day out, everyday the same Oh, how I wish I could escape this pain. And you realise that this pain IS DAILY, and that every day is like this. It's not an exception, it's the norm. That was one of my goals anyway. Hope it worked. More of my writing can be found here. A poem or two, some bits about pain and clusters, the first couple chapters from my novel (which will be updated soon), and other random ramblings. The blog page is called 'Sofa to Sailboat', as I'm chronically my journey of learning to sail and eventually buying a boat. But in-between sailing, I write about other things. MG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 MoxieGirl, your poem is really great and could also be a very good song. It's a great way to explain, the way it's turned as you say with the everyday first lines coming back at the end, which made me think about a song (could be the chorus)... (do you know any musicians?). I had to explain again my condition recently as I have new roommates and it's very difficult (especially with the 'headache' denomination) to make them realize it's worst than anything they can imagine. The other day as I was sweating and rocking my Kip 7, I had (for half a second) the idea of coming out of my room to show them, but it would have worsened my condition so I stayed alone concentrating on keeping it from racking up to 8 or worst... then I come out later and look normal (although I'm not) and I feel my roommates don't understand how bad... (and wonder about the meds I tell them I take... I think they wonder about me). Your poem is a good way to... and really, a Pop song would be great to help widen the message. I'll be reading your page :-) Purple Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoxieGirl Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 Thanks Purple, I'll talk to my son, he's a musician. It's tough, getting the point across about the pain. Sometimes it is worth showing people what it's like. I wish I had a super power and could touch people and give them a 10 minute cluster. And the 'headache' thing, I do my best to call them cluster attacks. They aren't headaches, that is SUCH the wrong word. Calling clusters a headache is like calling the sun just another planet. Right, off to get my hair cut. xx MG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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