Depersonalisation and suicidality study

[Sue mcdonald]

You might wantvto compketelyvdustegard any and all psych studies onbthese topics? If i was in luded? I was flat assed tortured.

Suzanne mcdonald

Sedgwick colo

Ex ucdenver premed student

 

 

I bought a doberman puppy (my breed) she started alerting to my cha. She pretty much started being my burse and wld go over me, breath, belly button, underarms, chest, lungs, i mean shed go over me. She also chks other ppl out. I used to think my migraines were facewide across forehead. She centered them as being abive my R eyebrow and past pictures showed increased swelling in those areas. This gave credence to cha being an iffshoot of histamine. Histamine is inflamatory marker for disease and early death.

Its aldo a marker fir propranolol causing histamine release.

My sec dog has helped me.

Shes not pain.meds.. but shes here for me. I am living in fear of being locked up, again with no way to get out....

The man who was locjed ip in psych ward in restraints - ya thats one fear...

 

 

[Juss]

I will do as best as possible to answer your question. 

Depersonalization is a milder form of dissociation which is conducive to Borderline Personality Disorder (DSM V), also referred to as emotional dysregulation disorder (ICD 10) in Europe and UK. Depersonalization is an aspect of disassociation and is a detachment from one's self and identity. On the other hand, dissociation is detachment from several things. Please be patient, as not always is this psychiatric/psychological. There is Menieres Disease, Organic (Psychoactive), and other nebulous factors.

If psychiatric and of and related to Borderline, this is a defense mechanism when one who suffers from said illness feels a threat or the need to escape. Contrary to mainstream literature, this is not an acquired habit only from trauma (typically sexual assault). Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can contribute. That logic isn't sound, because EMDR doesn't even mitigate the disassociation after treating PTSD.

To make all of us nutjobs to the psychopharmaceutical industrial complex, the spin doctors added a few new diseases, frankly putting lipstick on a pig: Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder, Dissociative identity disorder. The brutal truth is this person’s experience is organic (induced by a psychoactive or by migraine) or it is more severe and they don't want to stigmatize them with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Not diagnosing someone with Borderline is a disaster. They could be cutting, mutilating, have multiple suicide attempts, a criminal record (possible felonies), and numerous 20+ inpatient hospitalizations. I can put my money where my mouth is. 

Next, on the nature of the organic:

Ketamine: Ketamine stimulates glutamate release in the prefrontal cortex and this releases some cells that I can't remember the name of. And this all targets the amygdala which has structures critically involved in depersonalization. I have read about infusion for depression, anyone in the know in the psych community that stays active in neuro-psych conferences understands to run like hell. That is the translation.

Cannabis: Do I need to explain this? Smoking grass in certain Manic Depressives can induce psychotic mania or mania. That and depersonalization was known by Dr. Depaulo-founder of DRADA, the mood disorder clinic at Johns Hopkins (my mind fixer in the 90s)-in the 80s. It could go back further. If you have any axis 1 it's not just grass, any psychoactive or mind-altering substance that breaks the blood-brain barrier. There is a 6 fold increase in developing schizophrenia if you smoked grass more than 50 times (Andreasson Et Al 87). 

Hallucinogens: All of these target NMDA receptors, disrupting the action of glutamate (dissociative drugs). Glutamate is fundamental to cognition,  emotion, and the perception of pain. The use of dissociative drugs causes psychomotor retardation, anxiety, memory loss, even body tremors, and numbness. Even something mild like Robotrippin, you know DXM in it causes profound changes in sensory perception. On the extreme dippers, or what you guys may call Angel Dust, I have seen dudes finish that jack and be butterball butt naked and jump in front of a car. That shit is a ticket to insanity. 

Migraines: That is a complex subject. This is a good primer: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Abduelkadir-Tunc/publication/329074859_Psychoform_and_somatoform_dissociative_experiences_in_migraine_relationship_with_pain_perception_and_migraine_related_disability/links/5bf448f64585150b2bc4a7d4/Psychoform-and-somatoform-dissociative-experiences-in-migraine-relationship-with-pain-perception-and-migraine-related-disability.pdf

Benzos: Xanax is a guarantee to a shit show. The half-life is shorter than cocaine, coming down is legendary for perceptual disturbances. Lorazepam has a half-life I think of 6 hours. Heavy prolonged use can cause the same problem. Coming off with taper takes months and is hell. Oh, all benzo use foment chronic deep disturbing depression. Use an H1 anxiety medication (Please). 

I hope that this was the answer that you were seeking.

[Sue mcdonald]

Not quite the answer i wss looking for? But thank you. Theres a lot of info in here that i am going to read and assimilate.  Going into that mode now.. itll shut me up for a bit. But that's okay. They just tried to block me seeing any doctors = no pain meds. Soent col weeks bashing my head

 I hated to even admit that part to people... i live very rural, was very klan, last 5-10 yrs have huge new inflow of mormons... very problematic area to live in.... our county? We have 1 doctor, 1 lawyer. Its just tough. Gossip rules (lies r fun tho just strange here.... so getting doc is problematic. The man who sat w my ex while he got drunk n planned out my murder in 1984...? His old cop partner? Was w him when he tried to murder me? Was put in charge of mj stores, whi gets em who doesnt. They put a mj store in my teeny town - gave em access to me, too. Just crazy long story. Dont like to ho far into it cause its do hard for some normal ppl to understand.but i keft work on stress dis - they were basically confounded by my sx. Really. 1 doc said ptsd, 4 others disagreed strongly n got together n wrote letter to refute ptsd dx. I was hypothyroid n they didnt check that. And had fibromyalgia and thst simply didnt exist then. Sometimes u just have to ket go of past and just walk forward. Ive had migraines n cha since i was 15 (53 yrs). So cha as a dx was so far off their charts? Look, i went to my doc to ask to switch from t4 to armour thy in 2000? And he simply did not know what armour thy was...

fell off horse in chile (n u think my story lately sounds crazy? Chile?+ me? = really crazier but there u either lived or died.  In hosp long time, then hotel w priv nurse... my mom took me m xrays n doc notes to u if m teach hosp to make sure id be okay to ice skate?  Doc wrote it up 64  it waspublished and helped change face of medicine in u.s. now if kids get lacerated spleen in accident, say? They dont immediately remove it... i cant begin to tell how many docs refused to believe me cause they were taught ud die if spleen ruptured. I didnt? I kinda have a history of doing things like that thus why i thot med school might be good avenue but i cldnt do it. Took me until 2018 to get cha dx. 45 yrs- i still run into docs who just dont get it. Its awful hard. I hate e.r s.. but theyve got o2. I may be able to get o2 from welder, his daughter had an odd disease. He may be sympathetic.

Im going into reading mode for now....

 Thank you.

[Sue mcdonald]

 Becsuse if dobes input? I tend to weight the inflamation histamine deal more strongly. BAD is supposed to be way to tx that. And yes i coincidentaly found benedryl to be drug of choice to take a lot of. I seem to be able to exit drugs easily (have zero idea why) but psin i cant and its led me into loraz, robax, t3, and fior to help. 72 hours of continuous pain? I cant even begin to tell u how bad that can be. Ive found 3 other women within 20 mile radius who also have these. Im thinking its way more common than is known. 1 lady told me she had very good insur n they did dna testing so she takes trazadone..to sleep at 10 pm out by 11 pm every nite. She works as waitress fly j in big springs, ne. Ive had so many drugs thrown at me.. its dizzying, usually make insomnia worse or pain worse, some make both worse:( Up white sulphur hot springs, mt lady told me i was prolly reacting to inert ingredients - maybe so. Another lady at saratoga wy hit springs told me itd take the death of 1 of 3 ppl to make this stop for me... obviously moi. Dunno kno exactly who other 2 are. Its just not good whats happening. Theres a lot of cluster migraines out here.

Reading...

[Sue mcdonald]

I think theres a lot that cannot be qualified, much less quantified by our medical experts. We think of our docs as gods - until u run up against something they dont understand - then they throw u away onto the crazy pile. I dont have much respect for psych field. A few r great... many not, cant go into all that now. But? If u were severly hypothyroid, hurt bad in a car accident, other injuries, had fms, went thru divorce from hell? Fought in court *9 years* after divorce? Hi stress job alone, gained 60 lbs.... u think u might not have some strange sx?  Then ud be the stupid one.... i am completely okay with my mental state. I can live w what ive done and whats inside my head. I dont dissociate or get depressed rly, altho some ppl thot itd be real easy to push me into that... if u chose to think im crazy? Then id have to kinda pity u as someone who doesnt have much sympathy or kindness in you for soneone who has bern and us suffering greatly eith the same thing as u.

I had my r lier tooth pulled it erupted 4 times.  Right where trig nerve curves up. Dentist? No idea cha but shit to numb jaws? Helped cha... i used to follow up n ask others w migraines if it felt like their forehead was sliding dwn into their eyes when they got a migraine. No one said yes. Been hunting the chas for long time. If u chose to slsp the crazy label on me n dismiss my pain n suffering? I have to just turn my back on u n assume u r the one mirroring ur own psych issues-

Thanks i need to read now.

[Juss]

I will follow up soon and always do if I feel that it is important to reply. That foreigner song double vision is more like I am blinder than if  Stevie Wonder and Ronnie Millsap could consummate  and procreate a blind child. It's been getting real and it is that time of year. I can't escape this time of year, even if drugs such as headache blocker 10000, depression blocker 10000, and fucitol existed. 

[Sue mcdonald]

Have a nice vacation juss.

Double???

 Vision - dont think so...

 

[Juss]

Update, and I can't find the damn sources, Dr. Amen the double board-certified psychiatrist stated that prolonged use of marijuana leads to a 400% increase in psychosis, and schizophrenia.

As I already knew, it can cause profound depression and suicidality thought to be nonexistent in clinical practice since modern pharmacotherapy. On the other hand, when one has a predisposition it is well known in academic circles it can flip one Bipolar and not in the soft spectrums, or the mild Bipolar II. Often, classic Bipolar I.

I should say to anyone that is mixed bipolar (extreme and living hell), then Bipolar I is a cakewalk, and Bipolar I observes Bipolar II as mild. You get the idea, nothing personal. Throw in Borderline Personality Disorder (Borderpolar) oh boy. It is nothing short of pill-popping manic depressive crackpot, batshit shitshow, Borderpolar’s R Us crazy train.

While the verdict is up in the air on the NMDA drugs, I don't need to wait. Put a Ketamine infusion in the wrong person and the results are disturbing, worse than Marijuana. In my case end-stage, catatonic depression leading to 60 Bi-Lateral Bi Frontal, High Frequency,  Electro Convulsive Treatments (Shock Therapy). This type of depression is never seen, and only a few hundred in the world are seen with this. Only 60,000 people receive shock treatment, of which only a select few receive bilateral. It is becoming more common as marijuana and drugs like Ketamine become widely and readily used. It's an epidemic in the making. The suicide rate is up I believe over 10,000% since 1989, don't quote me. 

So I don't get banned, I won't get into the evidence of what happens with the other psychoactive(s) in a mentally disturbed test subject. It's devastating. 

Simply put, even in what society deems normal this stuff can be a ticket to the funny farm, and I met people in private posh funny farms that will never return from that trip.