Today is today

[tingeling]

Hi everyone

So, i feel a little bit down this period. It time for one of my high cycles, but i`m doing ok, just haven`t broken it completely. but that`s ok. My own fault, i was too late. I kind of knew it, i guess we drag it out sometimes, hoping for something different to happen. hope is something i don`t want to loose, so it`s ok.

But this time a year, i have to keep in touch with some part of my "family" i`m usually don`t. And it may sound odd, but just knowing i will have to meet this persons affect me long time before it happens. From the min i know when it gonna happen. It still overwhelms me more than i thought. It makes me chaotic, it starts this ongoing movie in my head. Very occupying, highly disturbing.

My best friends tells me i don`t have to meet this people, that i have no responsibility what so ever, and that`s true. But this is the easiest way to do it, so i take it. i`m so free i can be at this point, so it is what it is, when have to.

Today i feel a bit edgy actually, and i guess i will have some kind of break down this week end or something. That`s ok as well. It`s soon over now, then life can go back to normal.

I actually already started to get bothered by the thought of Christmas, but ok, that`s not now. And i gonna focus hard on making it a good time for my daughter. I look very much forward to next years Christmas, then i gonna be at the salvation army and work. My daughter spend every sec year with her father.

I`m like the cat, i always land on my feets. Think positive and it will turn out the best way i`m sure.

Hug from me

[TakinitEZ]

Ting, I've been reading here for a while, not posting much. When I read posts like this, it's really helpful for me, knowing that others are having similar challenges with everyday life, the holidays, etc. Thanks for your posts. -T

[Cassidy]

Hi Tingeling,

Read your post today and felt like I was looking in the mirror.

I am dealing with a strange cycle also. There is no pattern, which is unusual for CH. And the holidays. A edgy feeling is right.

I'm planning my break down on Saturday. Planned break downs aren't so bad, because you can prepare for them.

It is a tough time of year, memories and  obligations and the mandatory time to be merry.

If you are truly like a cat, you will do what is right for you. Cats don't answer to anyone, they just try to be sociable, but if they are uncomfortable, they leave the room.

                                                     Leslie 8-)

[kaboom]

Thinking about you Ting. 

I can relate - sometimes get myself so worried/angry/anxious/scared having to deal with "family" that I make myself sick (usually a headache!).  I have to remind myself that it is just a moment in time - it will pass and I will move on.  You are a wonderful mom - it's because of the love you have for your daughter that you are able to cope with all of this.

Leslie, I like your thinking:

Cats don't answer to anyone, they just try to be sociable, but if they are uncomfortable, they leave the room.

   

[tingeling]

Cats don't answer to anyone, they just try to be sociable, but if they are uncomfortable, they leave the room

Good way to describe it! Yep, i do it on my own terms.

sometimes get myself so worried/angry/anxious/scared having to deal with "family" that I make myself sick (usually a headache!).

I had much improvement, after all. Before i got high fever, then just an infection, after CH came, it was CH. Now it`s "only feelings". I think that means that i starting to cope with it somehow. Except from this one person, i still get nausea if i have to look in that direction. So i wont.

T, that made me happy

Leslie and Kaboom, thank you both