MoxieGirl

Carl sounds like a wonderful man, and my heart goes out to you and his family. I strongly believe no one is going to support cluster heads as well as other cluster heads, and Carl sounds like a champion of this approach. xx MoxieGirl

I know not quite the KIP scale, but does anyone else follow XKCD? It is a bit geekie at times, sometimes off the wall but also sometimes very funny. This is one of my favourites.

Hi gang, I missed the 2012 conference, but long to meet everyone and take part in the 2013 conference. Do we have any idea of dates and location yet? I heard Chicago mentioned I think. Chicago would be ideal for me, as I live in England and can get a direct flight there. Plus I have family in Iowa that I haven't seen in, like, 12 years. So should really get back home. In fact, how about Cedar Rapids or Iowa City as a conference location idea??? No, just kidding. Chicago would be grand. If someone does know the dates, it would be great to get them into my calendar now, so I can start planning and setting money aside. Thanks, Moxie

Hi, I've been away for a bit, and must admit I haven't read this entire thread yet, but even from reading this page of it - WOW! Jan has it rough. I thought 1-5 hits a day every 2-3 days was rough. My heart goes out to you two. I had tried everything the doctors could think of before busting. It all either wore off as my body got used to it, or the reactions were so bad it was worse than the clusters. I tried Batch's Vitamin D regimen, which I found effective. BUT, I was on Topiramate at the time, and the combination turned my urine to fire. Haven't tried it since coming off Topiramate. It has taken me a year of busting off-and-on, but I'm now getting up to 23 days Cluster Free at a time. So long I can almost, just about, forget I have clusters for a time. Between D3 and Busting, I do believe the demon can be stopped. Just hang in there and keep trying everything. Hope we all have a more PF 2013, especially Jan. xx Moxie

Hi Zoroy, How old are you now? Wow, having CH from the age of 13, that's rough. 2011 I was getting 1-5 attacks every 2-3 days, for a total of 258 clusters that year. I started busting with shrooms and seeds towards the end of the year, and in 2012 my cluster count dropped to 169. Additionally, my migraines went from 42 in 2011 to 3 in 2012. But that was after something like 22 doses over the course of the year. Being chronic like me is harder to bust they say. The great news about it was that I've been getting pain free gaps of up to 20-23 days, which for me is pretty amazing. I'm not sure anyone can really manhandle clusters, maybe Bol will do that when it becomes available. But for now, I think the best we can hope for is taming the beast so it doesn't bark and bite so much. Like BJ said, not everyone responds to shrooms, and some respond to seeds better. There is a lot of good information, dosage amounts and frequency in the Clusterbuster Files section. Worth taking some time to read through that. Good luck. Moxie

Hey Elly, I used to be a carer. I was once married to someone with mulple-personality disorder (6 personalities that I knew of), borderline personality disorder and a list of ther disorders as long as your arm. I used to get seriously burned out supporting my partner, and was having near constant migraines much of the year. I too felt guilty whenever I took any 'me time'. But eventually, I started to get resentful of not having me time. And then when I did get me time, it was from an attititude of 'she owes me, me time'. That is a very bad place to be for everyone involved. Caring for yourself is just as important as caring for your partner. If you give 100% of yourself to your partner, there will be nothing left of you. Yes, clusters are bad. But if you're there or not, he will get through it. On the flip side, taking some 'me time' to socialise with people who don't have clusters will recharge your batteries. It will make you stronger for those times when he needs you most. I know if I were in a relationship, it would be very important to me that my clusters do not consume my partner as they have consumed me. I couldn't do that to another person. So ask him how he feels about it, and if he says you need to have your 'me time', believe him. Stay strong. Putting your partner first doesn't mean you can't have some time too. First does not mean 'all'.

Good advice Domino. In England, you can go to just about any Chemist (Boots for example) and get a free pack of 10 syringes, needles and a sharps bin. Just ask for injection needles. These are all sterile, and free. When done, return the sharps bin with needles, and get a new set.

Hi Elly, I think it's a wonderful post, and we all need to vent on occasion. I'm single, and a sufferer. I hate being single. The few time I have been with someone and had attacks, I cherished having someone there to hold me through it (I don't normally pace), and to have someone there afterwards when the real tears flow. But, I think I'm probably unique in all that approach. On the flip side, I feel really bad for the person I'm with, as they see me in so much pain, but are so helpless. So I hope, being able to hold me is a way that they can do something, and although it may be small to them, it is massively valued by me. I also hate that people don't 'get' what a cluster is like. I have daily chronic headaches, so basically a headache 5 days out of 7. My longest single headache lasted 7 months. I also (until busting) have really bad migraines that can last for 5-7 days. And then clusers on top of all that. So part of me felt for my boss when I would phone in with 'yet another migraine' and sign off work for a week. He just didn't get it. He didn't like me for missing so much work, and I didn't like him for not understanding. I've always wished I had a super power to touch someone and allow them to feel one of my headaches for 5 minutes. Anyway, really hope things get better for you guys. I think supporters are very wonderful people.

Ricardo - so glad we have a Potter translator on hand. About the water, should it be bottled water or anything special?

OH, excellent idea CH!! Last night I put a cap on tin foil, so thanks for confirming that this is a good idea. But I didn't think about the drop of water, awesome! And TEN syringes from one print! WOW!

Oh! Of course, a razor blade. Excellent. I had heard people say to put them in a book, but didn't get how. Thanks. OK, next question. How many spores to create a single syringe? Obviously hard to measure or quantify.

Hi I'm making my first spore prints, and have put 3 caps down on a card. The spores have dropped off and left a nice impression. I thought I could then just tip the spore powder into a small zip lock bag, but it seems the spores are just too fine for this. How do you store the prints once taken from the cap? Then, how do you get the spores into water when you want to plant them? Thanks, Moxie

This looks interesting. http://www.clinicalpsychiatrynews.com/news/pain-and-addiction/single-article/miniature-neurostimulator-zaps-chronic-cluster-headache/0bf34045c53b3a61083c316ff0a76db6.html

Hi Vickie, I was on Topiramate (Topomax) this time last year. 450mg a day, and it had stopped working (again). I knew Busting was my only option, and had to get off the T asap. I have the sort of relationship with my doctor, that I tell her what I want to do, and she gives me advice on the best way of doing it. Or, I tell her what I DID, and she does her best to support me and advise. me. This is of course after I've done lots of research online. Anyway, so I had started coming off Topiramate before I told my doc, and I mentioned to her about this site, and what I was planning. At first, I started reducing T at 25mg a week, the same rate it was increased. But this was going to be too slow, I am chronic, and I needed to bust soon. So I increased it to 25mg every 3 days. It was 2 months of Hell. My mood was all over the place, but mostly VERY low. I had almost coninual suicidal thoughts, and basically just not a happy camper. BUT I knew it was the drugs, and I put a date in my calendar for a week or so after I'd be off Topiramate that I promised myself I would not act on any thoughts I had till then. I knew I wouldn't be thinking straight till that date. I did it. I got through it, but I wouldn't recommend it. And busting is helping more than anything else I've ever tried. I don't know about any of the other meds you are on, Jeff's advise seems sound though. I know some of them are quite strong. Have you done a Google search on coming off those drugs? Might find something useful. I trust my doctor, but only because I have cultivated a good relationship with her over years. But still, I don't trust doctor prescribed drugs, and love the fact that I'm growing my own solution to clusters and migraines, and that it is 1000 times better than anything I've ever been prescribed. A thought on growing your own mushrooms. My first crop failed completely, my second crop produced about 5 doses, and was a small crop. I just, last night, 'birthed' my third crop, and I have high hopes for this one being a much larger crop. So, be prepared that it might take a little while to grow your own crop if you haven't done it before. It might give you something to do while your coming down off all these meds. You can always freeze the harvest and save it for when your drug free. Wishing you all the best, Moxie

Hi Pos, Welcome, and I'll echo what DD said, and add a bit. There is A LOT of information in the ClusterBuster Files pages that can help, and will be more thorough and detailed than my comments here, but this might get you started. First off, there needs to be a 5 day gap between taking shrooms. Read the posts about 'shutting the door'. If he takes a second dose within those 5 days, it'll have no to little effect. If he's been chronic, one dose won't make them all go away. I have essentially been chronic for 6 years, and it is taking me many busts to stop it. Although, after the first few, I started getting cluster free gaps of up to 20 days. After he busts, there are likely to be slapbacks, the demon trying to fight back. These can be pretty intense the first week, but will get better after the 2nd dose (in my experience). I've always taken dried shrooms, about 2.4 - 2.6 grams. If they are fresh, the water content (from what I've read) increases it quite a bit, and I think doses are closer to 10 grams. But read the posts first, as I've never taken them fresh, so not 100% sure. How he takes them is up to him. Personally, I make mint tea with a squirt of lemon juice. some people just eat them (I don't like mushrooms enough for that), and some grind them up and put in capsules. When I found this site a year ago, I spent about 5 days just reading and reading and reading. There is a LOT of good information here, and good people. This site and the people here has, quite literally, saved my life. I live in England, where I wish shrooms were legal. Renee

Hugs. I'm not exactly sure of the back story here, haven't been following all the posts that closely. Nor do I really need to know, or care to know the back story. I'll just say, I'm sure if you put your bad words next to the many, many good things you've said and contributed to this board, the bad words would be lost in the towering shadow of the good. We all have bad days, we all vent and rant when perhaps we should back slowly away from the keyboard. I think it's part of the human condition. But, I don't think I'm one of the people who've been upset, so perhaps my words don't mean a lot. You're a good person Ricardo, don't let one mistake make you (or us) forget that. xx Renée

Glad to help. When I started on seeds, my first dose was really low too, and then I built up to 50 over a few busts. I've never done LSA or Magic Mushrooms, and didn't know what to expect. Also, my body can have some pretty extreme reactions even to mild medications, or no reaction at all to very strong meds. No way of telling, so always smart to start small. My clusters are a bit different than most peoples. For the last few years, they've been quite short. When they started, in 2007, they were 30 - 45 minutes, or over an hour sometimes, but now they are a few minutes to 15 - 30 minutes. In fact, a 30-45 minut cluster these days is quite unusual. But, I was getting up to 5 day every 2-3 days for over a year, until I started busting that is. I also rarely get them when I sleep. Most are during the evening or weekends. I also rarely get them, or at least bad ones, when I'm at work. It seems that when I've very focused, they tend to stay away. When I'm relaxing, or at home where I feel safe and relaxed, that's when and where they hit most. So it interestes me when people get hit at work, because for me, work is almost a preventative. Hope the busting goes well. xx

Hi again Ob1, Floating seeds is much like floating an egg. As eggs get older, and 'go off', they fill up with air as the liquid inside shrinks. Thus, an egg that floats is a bad egg. As seeds get old, the inside material (there is probably a technical name for this) dries up and is replaced with air, such that the seeds eventually become empty husks, and thus float. In my experience, out of 60 seeds, I might get 8-15 floaters. It all depends on where you bought them from, how old they are, etc. I noticed it changed from batch to batch. Here is my complete process for busting with seeds. I've found it works pretty well, and the results and mild trip is quite consistent. 1. Stop eating or drinking. 2. Float the seeds I would float about 60, with an aim of getting 50 good ones. Floaters, put in the bin. Dry off the good ones with a paper towel and separate into batches of 10 seeds. 3. Crush. I would crush them in batches of 10 in a mortar and pestle, as trying to crush 40-50 seeds at once is a real pain. I tried my pepper grinder a couple times, as some people use, but didn't find it as effective. 4. Use a pastry brush to brush the crushed seeds, and seed dust, into a shot glass. 5. Add a bit of water and a squeeze of lemon. 6. Stir occasionally and let soak for 2 hours. 7. Strain the water from the sludge into a clean shot glass, using the back of a tea spoon to squeeze out all the liquid from the sludge. I used a little tea strainer for this, and it worked really well. 8. Down the water in one. Chase with a glass of fresh water to clear the bad taste. 9. Don't eat anything for 90 minutes. I would either time it so I could go to bed at this point, or put in a movie. I would always make sure the movie was one I'd seen before, and was a comedy. The trip I experienced from seeds wasn't a massive one, but it was like seeing things for the first time. I figure it's not a good time for surprises or strong emotions. Comedy is good though. I would usually drop off for a 1/2 hour during the movie, and sleep REALLY deeply that night. On a couple occasions, I had had a drink or two of vodka before I started the process, and it ruined my good nights sleep. Instead of being sleepy, I full of energy. So avoid alcohol if you're not already. Hope this helps. Renée

I didn't know about the effects of light on LSA either, good to know, thanks. ob1, I normally soak mine for 2 hours, but once tried longer. 6 hours or so I think, and the only difference I noticed was that it made me feel sicker than normal. In my experience, 15 is a very small dose of seeds. I started at 30, and within a few busts was up to 50, which is where I did most of my busting, maxing out at around 60 seeds. When I crushed mine in my mortar and pestle, I then used a pastry brush to brush out all the very fine powdery bits into my shot glass, which I soaked them in. I'm guessing you are floating the seeds first, and throwing out the ones that float, and only crushing the seeds that are heavier than water? floaters don't have any LSA in them. good luck. Renee

On headaches and clusters. Short, but informative. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2224037/Is-headache-cluster-bomb-just-bit-tension.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Thank you everyone for the excellent advice, and technical terms. OK, OK, will leave them in the jars another 2 weeks. I'm eager to get the best crop I can this time. Will just have to hope I'm around enough to manage the harvest in 2-3 weeks. My last harvest, one or two had done the black ink thingy, and seemed to be fine once harvested and dried. For fruiting, I have two shallow, rectangle window-sill planters. They are about 3 inches deep, and 8 inches wide by about 14 inches long (guessing). I put perlite in the bottom of one, and turn the other upside down and use as a lid. It worked pretty well last time. My plan was to offset them a little, so that the top one was over a small humidifier. The humidifier would be a on a timer, and release mist into the chamber. But, the humidifier I had had a short, so I couldn't use it. But I'm guessing the perlit releases enough moisture, so should be fine.

Hi, My current batch of mushrooms have been in the jars 2 weeks now. They are about 85-90% fully white (sure there is a technical term for this). I know I should wait till they are 100%, then give them another week before birthing them. BUT, I am home all next week, so if I birth them this weekend, I will be around to keep them watered and attend to their growth and harvesting. If I let them stay in the jars another week, they may be in a better position to birth, but then I won't be around to tend to their growing needs. Thoughts?

Thanks CH, It was more about expressing myself than asking for help. I find writing very therapeutic, and writing about my pain is helpful. xx

Hi FLUFFHEAD, and welcome. Ditto to the comments made already, all good advice. I suppose I might add that taking these 'meds' for recreational use is probably quite different than for busting. Same process, but the goal is to find the lowest dose required to bust with the minimum trip possible. I'm not a pro with these drugs in a rececational form by any means, but in other areas of my life, I've learned just because I know something well for one purpose, applying that science to another purpose isn't always a direct transfer. So very well worth reading through the material on the site, in my humble opinion. I was getting up to 5 hits a day, every 2-3 days for over a year when I started busting. I haven't cured it, not sure there is a cure. But I have broken my cycle, and enjoyed 2-3 weeks at a time cluster free. Busting has turned my life around, well, no. Actually it has given me my life back. I too had been considering the 'other' option. Glad I don't have to now. Also be sure to read the article on playing well with other drugs. Hoping you many pain free days to come. Renée

Thank you both for your comments and positive vibes. I was once in a relationship with someone with multiple personalities. She had 6 different personalities, apart her own, that I regularly interacted with. One thing she always said to me, was that she didn't want to be known as 'that person with MPD'. She craved that people got to know her, before they got to know her condition. In other words, she didn't want the condition to define her. One of my biggest frustrations in life, is when people find out I'm transsexual before they meet me. Because most instantly, and unconsciously, attach pre-conceived images of transvestites and drag queens onto their image of who I am. I then become known, defined as, a transsexual and not a woman, almost not a person. This is a massive hinderance when trying to find a partner, and it plagues my life. Because once someone meets me, they no way believe I wasn't ever the woman I am now. I'm not like many other transsexuals. However, in many ways I have become this person with constant headaches. Not everyone in my life knows me as such. 90% of the people I work with have no idea, I manage it that well. Mostly, only my friends and social circles know. But I see myself as a person who's life is defined by headaches. Even if I don't tell people I have them. They truly envelop my life, and touch every aspect of it. I have a headache right now. I had one yesterday, last night when I went to bed, this morning when I was getting ready for work, and the bulk of today. They permeate my entire being. Not my body. But my being. The person that I am. Yes, I know that if I found a cure, the pain would stop and I would get on with life. Not that I'm letting them stop too much of life. I tend to get on with it regardless. But still. I sometimes feel I am not me, I am the manifestation of head pain.