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hey man, that's some rough stuff you have gone through in your life. you still came out on the other end so you know you're strong as hell, so don't give up hope for the better future. as others have suggested i would go to a psychiatrist and get checked out/tested, just to make sure. meanwhile i strongly suggest you don't touch any psychedelics, they could make things a lot worse. wishing you all the best and stay strong!

Hi all, Sharing a study just published in Cephalalgia Reports titled "Clinical treatment of cluster headache with the serotonergic indoleamine psychedelics psilocybin and LSD and with ketamine: A case series". Abstract Background: Cluster headache is an excruciating condition for which standard treatments are usually insufficient. Evidence has accumulated that serotonergic psychedelic indoleamines including psilocybin and LSD can be effective in preventing attacks. Methods: In this case series, nine patients with episodic and chronic cluster headache that didn’t respond to conventional treatments were treated at a clinic with psilocybin or LSD, under compassionate use provisions, and in most cases separately with ketamine. Results: All patients responded positively to at least one of the treatments, and eight of nine responded positively to the treatment with the psychedelic indoleamines, in several cases with extended periods free of attacks. Conclusion: These clinical data, though of an exploratory nature, add to the existing pool of evidence for the usefulness of these substances for treating cluster headache, and further support the lowering of legal and regulatory barriers to medical access to the psychedelic indoleamines. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/25158163251345472 Fairly powerful findings albeit a small patient cohort. I don't know if ya'll have used Notebook LLM - but the attached audio "podcast" is an AI generated conversation discussing the findings of this article in podcast format. As with all AI - always be cautious but I checked it against the article as I listened and it's an accurate reflection of the article. Psychedelics and Ketamine for Cluster Headache Treatment.wav leighton-et-al-2025-clinical-treatment-of-cluster-headache-with-the-serotonergic-indoleamine-psychedelics-psilocybin.pdf

Hey @Snowflake. Sorry to hear of the rough go at things! As for mental disorders, understand that they can manifest late in some unfortunate folks.. While late 20's is the most common, late teens are subject as well. As @Bejeeber and @Shaun brearley have expressly stated it may be time to sit with a professional. No one should have to deal with feeling like they are not in control of their own feelings or as if the feelings they are having don't belong to them. Your mention of not being in the "Driver's Seat", Folkes noticing a change in your behavior and the feeling of being watched are a bit of a red flag that something is out of balance (possibly a chemical imbalance) (Not uncommon). None of these things are incurable, but are best dealt with by professionals which we are not. We are all here, ready to help should you need.