I can relate to that hopeless feeling about the future, and I know what it’s like to feel like the rest of your life is just a juicy delicious looking meal that has now been poisoned and can no longer be enjoyed. I don’t have kids to worry about disappointing, but I did feel at some points that my close family and friends didn’t know that I was already dead, but just pretending until formal arrangements could be made.
Busting changed all of this for me. And by busting, I don’t mean “I tried a couple 1.5 gram doses” to see how I felt. This is a lifestyle for me now, just like monitoring blood sugar and keeping insulin around is a lifestyle for diabetics. I plan and schedule around it, and it keeps me happy, healthy, and functioning.
I have hemicrania continua, FYI.
I think the healthy way to approach busting is to approach it as a tool you need to practice to learn to use properly.
There is a clinical study in progress right now on the efficacy of psilocybin on cluster headache, so your concerns about it exacerbating it in the long run are probably unfounded. But if you are waiting for multiple peer reviewed studies that answer your exact questions, then you will probably be waiting a long time. Probably longer than any of us will be around, and I personally preferred to “carpe diem”. Because science will trudge on at its own pace, but we only get one chance at this life.
All research I have found related to the physical effects of psilocybin use are positive. It has a very powerful anti inflammatory effect through its action on serotonin receptors.
Is it an easy medication to manage? No. One Saturday out of the month, I spend a day relaxing at home, crazy as a loon. I stare at swirly colors on my VR screen and meditate and listen to music. Things get weird. Then it all goes back to normal and I go back to my life. But I can’t minimize the fact that these feelings can be panic inducing if someone is unprepared or in a stressful setting. Sometimes it’s really irritating to have to plan out “not being able to think or be rational” for a whole afternoon and it makes scheduling tough. But the headache always creeps back if I neglect to keep up with my dosing schedule.
I don’t want to give you false hope by just saying “Try busting, it’s a miracle “. Because busting comes with it’s own difficulties and challenges, and it’s not an easy route either. But it did end up making my life worth keeping.