I sure hope no one else has a suicide plan! Life with CH can be immensely difficult at times, but life between the clusters is just 2 special to give up on. @lp3 to make sure I answer your question, no I don't have a suicide plan but in the beginning of my CH (prior to finding CB), I was definitely guilty of thinking about it. I know you have been on here for quite some time, but I don't think you post all that often (which is absolutely ok). It's just that I wonder, if none of the things you mentioned not wanting to hear about don't work at all for you if maybe you haven't been properly diagnosed? Maybe try and see a different Doc or better yet a headache specialist. When is the last time you spoke to a Dr. about what you’re going through? I know you’re not looking for advice but that is pretty much what we do here (try and help). In a way I think maybe you are looking for help because how would it change anything for you to know someone else had a plan? Please excuse the ramble, I just hate to see/hear of a fellow sufferer being in such a bad way. If you change your mind and do want to talk about possible methods that could help, we are here!