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Shamans Disease?


Sergical81
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Yes. Well actually, after all these years without any specific medication, I developped some sort of meditation state which helps me cope with the rising pain, and control some of it. When I'm on CH, I have to not listen to anything like music or talk radio, and certainly never a conversation, especially involving me. Nothing that tends to lead somewhere, to a goal on which I have to concentrate. I have to retreat and try to... meditate, and  focus on myself.

My last bust, my 1st with M, 2 weeks ago... I realized how close these two states are, under CH or under M.

It brought me many side symptoms that are the same as when I'm under the control of CH, one of these being the fact that I couldn't take it when my friends (not on M) talked... their sayings were too long, I couldn't wait for them to get to the point, which made me very anxious and uncomfortable everytime someone started to tell something. And it's the exact same when I'm on CH, except it also increases my pain.

For me, there is no doubt the busting substances bring me to a state ressembling CH, or ressembling the state I need to adopt when on CH, not sure if it's one or the other

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shocked,

Yes, when anyone speaks to me, the pain ratchets up immediately. I think that it is distraction from facing the pain head-on that causes the spike.

If left alone to deal, my focus is totally on the meditation of repetitive movements and a mantra that works for me.

Since my attacks are quite long, I have a method that allows me to cope, but not if someone says anything to me.

No music, no TV, no convo. Silence alone, thank you.

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Im with you on that one . I can't convo or TV. Some music does help though. Static and white noise does too. Im in week 3 of my 8 week cycle. Pain is at 7 or 8. I have to admit that these pains have been a meditation teacher of sorts. In a constant haze where nothing is real or nothing matters but the PAIN. IMAGINE IF that kind of concentration can be applied elsewhere.

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I seriously dissociate to deal with the pain.  I kinda just go somewhere else.  Even when I am active and actually doing stuff, if I am getting hit I just kinda push the pain into some outside space where it does not effect me so much.  Over the years I just kinda slid into this and it is a pretty effective coping mechanism, but it has it's down side.

I feel like I can dissociate most of the pain, but once it's too much it's like opening a floodgate.  It's kinda like "I'm all right, I'm all right, I'm all right...but eventually it goes to "I AM SERIOUSLY NOT FUGGING ALL RIGHT!" and there does not seem to be much in between.  Seriously confuses people that around me sometimes. 

-Ricardo

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I was into meditation before CH arrrived in my life and it has always been a go-to for me when I am dealing with the pain. I sort of imagine encapsulation of the pain, encasing it like an egg and moving it off to the side where it is not "touching" me. But eventually the level of pain proves too great, the egg cracks open and that rampaging beast nails me. For me, the beast has always been just too strong for meditation alone, but it does buy time when I can't get to treatment right away.

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