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In what seems to be an almost grey area with 'suicide' viewed as something problematic, we in Canada have access to MAID (Medical Assistance in Death), something I have inquired about, so in a grey area, I do have a plan, but if you ask about MAID you do not get sent to psychiatric, but if you mention having a plan you do. In any case, I see it as my absolute last resort. I feel you @MoxieGirlI am chronic and have up to 8 hits a day, every day, no breaks, with some powerful sleeping pills, I can knock myself out for 30 hours after a day and a half up but those are the longest breaks. I am still trying with the alternate methods but have had some really bad months, death in the family and any hallucinegenic is not great if you go in with a bad headspace and the current crop I have tends to really edge towards disassociating me strongly which is a pretty unnerving experience. All said, we have all wished an end in some way, but you need to reach out, talk, try anything and everything. And talk, to anyone, find a good listener, it goes a very long way in keeping it together.

When studies started being released showing Vitamin D having a dramatic, protective effect against COVID, it was such a relief knowing that I'd been pumping my body full of it for years! Finally cluster headaches did something good in my life