Purple

Hi Manda, You're certainly not crazy. Or we all are maybe Sounds like CH, but I'd say a firm diagnostic from a headache specialist would be needed first. Not easy to get, though, but needed. There are many types of headaches. Then uhhh better wait for advice from more experienced players... I never thought my headaches were that clocked scheduled, nor the cycles (they come in cycles). They come at night, that's a common symptom, wake me up after 60-90 minutes sleep.

And by the way, BUZZ, busting seems to be working, after sleeping 5.5 hours today, I'm feeling refreshed, almost painless. Started D3 partially also. So keep the faith: there is a way out of this downbound train.

I agree Pixie, but one must admit that, at a certain point, a certain planning of that is needed, although it's quite difficult to plan anything when we get to that point. I thought the formulation I had found pictured the feeling : "death appears as a very light and refreshing option". It could be left to that, but I think references to a certain planning of an action in that sense would be good to add in order also to show to outsiders to what point this gets bad. What do you think? I think we'd need input from female clusterheads who gave birth to help range this level of pain within the KipScale. it's a good reference for the outside world. I think Renée's description here for K8 is close to weatherman's at K9: "Pain becomes very clean and almost spiritual". I also get to a point where a slight shifting of my head and there is no pain at all anymore. It seems to me at that point that PF and total pain are two faces of the same thing. I think this detail should be added to K9, reality having started to fade at K8. Renée gets to suicidal at K9, but I think as THMH pointed out, K9 could be the contemplation of it.

Oh no, Ron I don't feel no one is trying to force anything down my throat, I'm very grateful people here care enough to insist on me, old stubborn, who was convinced until 2007 there was actually nothing to do about it. People here are so very caring, all I can say is thank you.... I mean thank you!!!! I called my clinic and to my great surprise, I got an appointment with my neuro for next Tuesday, noon... oh? I thought she wasn't available... good thing I called. If she says no, I'll see about it then. But I will ask her I want the test Batch asks to have done "a lab test for 25-Hydroxyvitamin D, a.k.a. 25(OH)D", the hormones count check, the oxygen... But one thing... should I tell her that I stopped the medication she prescribed to me and that I took those seeds and that I plan to try the fungus? Chances are if I tell her this she'll say I'm on my own then, no?

Thank you everyone for very precious information in this thread, especially for a newbie like me, and I think for also a few other newbies who posted here.

I agree THMH, and also I had one a few hours ago that I couldn't fit in the scale. It was beyond 6, it fit the 7 description on my post above, except that I didn't collapse at all after the hour of unreal pain: I just cannot sleep. No way I was going back to bed. I think the collapse belongs to Kip 8

Sure am, I can't believe in how many ways you're all so very supportive. Last time I called the clinic, receptionist said there was no more availability with my neuro in the near future, and I suppose that means she flew down south, a normal way to go for us northerners at this time of year where outside temp. often hits minus 15-20 C. But I'll try once more tomorrow, promised, I mean today, boy, that night of sleep was short.

thanks, Jerry and Mystina just to know people read this, understanding, means a lot. Think my case is somewhat like you're daughter's, I've been convinced so many years nothing could be done, that I was just damned... (well how else to interpret the raise of the shoulders of the drs I'd seen) that I didn't even bother trying to go see a neuro. And as I speak, I feel the LSA and other substances of these RC seeds working like a repair crew lined all along my neck and in my temple. I feel like this part of my body is presently being fed something it's been missing all along. And I feel anger growing in me: why do they do that? When it's so obvious O2... and then simple flower seeds... I'll dare try to go to sleep :-)

Well I really appreciate you did. I'll certainly be testing their products and services again. They're in the same province I am, quick... I can even pay them directly from my bank account I think... no credit card here, so this for me is miracle (although I don't believe in miracles). I'll report again on quality and maybe we could give that runner another chance

About Oxygen, I remember my neuro saying, the first time I saw her in 2007, that that was for extreme cases only or did she say chronics... It's covered by the state, well province's health care, and the tendency is not to abuse the already chocking health care system with useless costs. I'm sure she'd say no. Second thing about oxygen: I think I would be afraid of setting the apartment building in flames... I'm a smoker and rather careless... I also see that as kind of a step I don't want to take, something like an elderly you have to convince he/she needs to be in a wheelchair from now on... I'm certain other episodics are like me: traditionally (after more than a quarter century, one can use that term I guess), after the episode is done with, we just forget about it all (well I'm not a very organized person) and suppose it might have been the last episode. So seeing that bottle sit in the corner for 12 months (or 6 but I hope not) could actually increase my general state of semi-depression I fear. Just like reading these forums here can be a reminder that my life has been messed up completely from age 18. I mean... I spent time the other night counting how many times I saw the very last option as a refreshing one, and it whacked me... 10 times a year average in that 32 years. And it made me realize my life has been a mess in great part because of this. And realize also why I'm not afraid of death. Spiritually, I have no problem with that. It's just a passage. But the thing is, I used to never think back of these times and only look forward cause I know as an episodic there is light at the end of the tunnel and that, once out I will be allowed to think: Maybe that was the last episode. I have a hard time figuring out how chronics can go on. Well seeing that O2 bottle sit in the corner would remind me every day that... oh I'll stop here. As for the energy drink, bought 2 big cans of Monster. The first one helped killing a K2, the second one the day after didn't seem to help much and my stomach and the rest of the tubes didn't appreciate it seems. It does the same to me when I'm having too many coffees. I think I like coffee better, I'm not sure about taurine. I'm considering Batch's D3 regimen... Yeah, I think I will go shopping. Licorice root program? No, I didn't check this one out. I was wanting to check the hormones path, and I spose this could be linked to D3. I want to have a blood test done, but that's another mountain to climb with my neuro I fear.

Thanks again CHfather for precious information and deep knowledge of this board. As discussed on a thread about smoking weed, I do take into consideration a certain anti-depressant if I can use these words effect in order to try to cope with life while in an episode (well it's true for me between episodes also ), whether it triggers a shadow or not... and since LSD was my favorite trip when I was 16-17 years old, well, yes, I was seeing an interest in combining both therapies. That's why I said I felt I could have taken more: I felt good today for a couple hours and my shadow didn't matter no more. But is it Ron who posted about his son taking half a dose of LSD and being PF for 5 days? I don't know... I always thought and still think LSD is a good drug. But it's quite strong, and I felt like it was a radical and strong effect like that that could kill the beast. But then again, I think it was Ricardo posting about the fact that there are many active ingredients in the RC seeds that help us, not only LSA, as opposed to one very concentrated semi-chemical ingredient in LSD. I was feeling fine, and then I ate cause I hadn't in 15 hours, and then, well yes, Kip 5,5 followed the (light) meal, but since I was warned, I will take it as a sign something is happening. thanks again for taking time for support. Greatly appreciated, believe me

You Bet Dan, it sure did make a difference, even if I had to live at constant Kip 2-3 and couldn't bend down (as of right now, I can. Wow!), at least I could reach the park with my dog

Thank you for your caring CHfather, I gave it a good thought and had decided for 85 (lithium out 88 hours) but as I say on another thread, at least 50 out of 110 were floating, so maybe I took 60 idk. I think I'm feeling better. It's been 4 hours. I feel like I could have taken more.

I just busted with 110 RC seeds, 4 hours ago. It's the first time I do it. It seems to work in the right place. For a while, I was almost pain free, but the shadow is back. I feel I could have taken more. Many of the 110 seeds were floating when I did the water test, like 50 probably. I figured they wouldn't hurt... so in fact did I take only 60 seeds? I read this thread here only today http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cb/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1283257635/0 Tingeling, do you still use this "brew"? How many seeds was that? How strong was the mushroom tea? Do you still think some alcohol helps? as you had written: "(...) and i wonder if the alcohol helped dilating the vessels, so i had a more even effect". and how much vodka is "A shot glass of vodka"? CHfather had suggested I start with 50 or something seeds cause he feared for lithium cross action but I had stopped 85 hours ago so I figured I was safe. hehe... I recognized the LSD like feeling from 34 years ago, but it was very light. I don't know... am I feeling better? hmmmm. Is there LSD available anywhere in North America? Kyle wrote: "CH cannot withstand the power of HWBR!" It works best? Think I need to eat now. I took them on an empty stomach, and the nausea feeling (mild) completely cut any hunger I could have had. I just read today also that I'm not the only one to lose weight. I really appreciate any support. A big thank you to everyone. Think I'm feeling better.

I fell on this tonight and it seems like it was never posted, or maybe I'm wrong. I used Google translate. http://www.dr.dk/sundhed/Sygdom/Hovedpine/Artikler/2011/0525100944.htm

I never could relate either to the Kip Scale. I combined BUZZ's and weatherman's and added my touch, trying to stay in the "jingling keys" analogy. I removed descriptions of some specific symptoms since I don't think they are the same for all of us nor come at the same stage. English is not my native tongue so there could be a few non sense. It's my feeling this could be a work in progress. What do you think? Hang in there BUZZ K=0  NO PAIN ….. Life is Beautiful. Not even thinking about headaches, but cant forget what the keys sound like. K=1 Minor Shadows that come and go. First realization that Head Ache is forming. K=2 Stronger Shadows becoming steady. I can hear the keys. Hoping it's not my cell. K=3 The sound of the keys is getting closer; shadows are constant. Can deal with it but start to baton down the hatches and look for an exit. Setting plans to reach energy drink, coffee, ice or O2, or checking if that nasal spray or shot is at hand        K=4 They picked my cell. the key turns and the door opens. Impossible to keep working, driving, reading, watching, talking... whatever was going on. Restlessness starts to occurs; urge to find a quiet spot and off the outside world; absolute need of an abort agent, Energy drink, Coffee, O2, Ice nasal spray or shot K=5 They start hitting. Unable to stop holding head. Pain becomes stabbing and VERY acute; moaning starts K=6 The Beast is Here Diminished senses (sight and hearing) from overwhelming Pain  Relief is mandatory, but acknowledgment of failure of the first measures. Oh, no, this is out of hands and turning into a severe attack Imitrex shot or nasal triptan needed absolutely. Screaming starts. K=7 They set in to take turn for a non-stop beating. An Hour of Pain at least is ahead. All relief options fail. Pain becomes unreal and reaches highest levels of bare-ability. If you can ride it out (and it doesn't get worse) you'll collapse with complete exhaustion and some sort of sleep. K=8 Severe Cluster Headache. Intensity becomes unreal. Screaming, yelling, cursing, punching, head banging, constant heavy breathing and rocking. Don't come near me. Some convulsions occur. Reality starts to fade. Shifting towards fetal position. K=9 The "Why Me" Syndrome sets in. Regrets of being alive; Hopelessness, depression; Actual feelings that you will die. Pain becomes very clean and almost spiritual. Thinking of the loved ones. K=10 Head Banging and convulsions. ER trip. Cannot move or speak. Complete loss of senses, Extreme Depression, contemplating suicide; death appears as a very light and refreshing option

yes thank you Mystina, I will certainly wait, I'm actually quite afraid of this type of chemical and I'm somewhat sad that this is what is available for the youth nowadays on the street. Long gone (it seems) LSD days were better

Renée, I so agree with all you say. Besides, you write so well, I'm sure it's never difficult for anyone to click on one of your posts. I too appreciate very much the support of this community and can't believe I stayed away from it so long. I think we're all survivors and very strong, hmmm... especially the chronics

I was looking for LSD or mushrooms downtown. There doesn't seem to be LSD anymore in this part of the world (is there anywhere to get some?). I was offered Nexus, which the guy said was very similar to acid. So I bought 2 pills, and checked the Web when I got home to find out it's actually 2C-B. Well the buzz sounds astonishing but IDK why, it also sounds pretty toxic and... it's not very attractive. I saw a thread here on MDMA (exctasy) and I read that Nexus is often sold as being exctasy in raves, but there doesn't seem to be much on this board about 2C-B and other substances of the 2C family. Apparently, 2C-B remained legal for quite some time after it was first synthesized in 1974. It was used in psychotherapies and was also sold as an aphrodisiac by a German Co I doubt I'll ever ingest it. (I'm single LOL)

Hi again Jon I should receive my RC seeds tomorrow or Friday, welll I really hope I will, and after reading other posts about it, I was planning to start with 100 seeds, for I don't fear side effects and I figure a larger dose is more likely to be effective. I posted about this on the thread "detox verapamil..." and I suppose I will get answers. Since being meds free Monday, I don't really try to sleep, just an hour here and there... well I'm presently unemployed so it's easier to do that. Referring to your first posts, I'm also new to this board, and the first time I had seen it in 2007 (well the CH.com), I also felt a déjà vu effect, so strong that I didn't stay very long and registred only last week. But now I can't believe I stayed away from it so long, would it be only for the support and finally finding people who can understand, but there is a lot more to it

Thank you soooooo much, CHf, I just ordered 500 seeds, and it should be there Thursday. This site operates next door from me, since they charged me the local tax. And I was able to order COD which is incredible for I don,t have a credit card. The overnight shipping cost are 30$, but Express post from Canada post usually ships the next day and thats 12$. These seeds are really cheap compared to the crap I bought downtown tonight. The guy said it was just like LSD, but he was refering to the buzz I guess. He calls it Nexus and I think it,s MDMA. I was planning on maybe taking a chance busting with that, but wasn,t sure and... ... your post came as a savior, I,m so happy I have seeds on the way. I,ll just try to survive untill I get the seeds, I had a kip 9 CH at noon and kept a kip I don,t know what (3? I don,t know the scale, anyways it hurt) all day long after. Thanks again. When I get the seeds, how about I take 100? And the guy downtown will get me shrooms in 2-3 days. Meanwhile my computer stopped working and leaning down trying to fix it triggered my noon CH and this is my old MAC iBook with a keyboard from France that,s why IDK all the keys. So there is all my story for today, a million thanks just for reading me, I feel supported and that relly makes a difference

Thanks Dan for the support It was a rough moment, but I'm OK now. As I posted I think on the other board CH.com this morning, it's hard, it's painful and no fun, but I much rather be dealing with this beast I know very well than coping with verapamil and lithium's side effects. I took my last pills Sunday night, 36 hours ago. I think I did that the way my neuro said. According to what alleyoop posted, I still have lithium in me, but tonight would be good I figure. But I failed getting busting agent yet. Hope to get it today

interesting but will have to read again laster after the beast let go its grip on me

moaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn I regret I was booooooorn :'( :'(

I didn't dare trying different alcohols so I don't know if there is one that wouldn't trigger. When in episode, just looking at a bottle sends a shiver and starts a shadow or increases it. And if I drink, it's a kip 10,5 within 10 minutes after the first sip, but maybe that changed IDK. As I say, I don't dare doing that anymore. But in the last year, many times I had light shadows and was wondering if I was starting an episode... my friend who is a daily beer drinker... offers me one... I hesitate... then I took it as a confirmation I wasn't starting an episode since I had no probs. Also, I often wondered if any episode was starting once my body had had too much alcohol in the previous weeks/months and because of that. But then again, that couldn't be, because I really started drinking at age 29, 11 years after my 1st CH. All these years, everyone, even doctors, were telling me: don't eat sugar, avoid chocolate, too much stress just relax, and what else... just last Saturday my friend asked: did you consider stopping cigarettes? Grrr! Is it my CH making me anti-social? I got mad and left right away... just me and my dog in my cave, me, my dog and the beast Uhhhh IDK, is there an age for CH? I don't think so. My brother started at 42, me at 18. After reading a thread about testosterone on CH.com, and other threads, I am now convinced it's hormones related. Hormones unbalance can happen at any age and for different reasons. But I'm just a newbie on these forums, so that's just my 2 cents.