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Yes, you can survive!! We all wish that no one had gone through this disease and wish that it did not exist. But, in our wishing there is also the wish to meet others who actually know our pain and want to know how we get through our days and nights. That alone can help us get through the tough times a bit easier. We have each other to learn from and lean on if needed. Like your O2, we are friends, just not as close. I truly understand your regret. Been there and done that, you know? But it did not end my world. There is HOPE and there is HELP!! You have taken a step and reached out to a great group of people who have been in the same boat and have held the same paddle that you are using now. We hang together to help each other. Get some relief from the suggestions you have been given. Private message anyone and likely you will get a personal response. Yes, you are half a world away, but we Clusterheads keep weird hours!! Hang in there! We have a lot of suggestions for killing a hit and silly things that we have done and found help in doing them. Like a face plant in snow, a screaming hot shower followed by ice cold finish. Yea, we are a creative bunch here.