BoscoPiko

You are very kind I have all the plans of getting back in the saddle... (pretty sure that's what you meant)

I just have always been so against meds and now I feel Like every time I turn a corner I'm having to pop something. I am around a lot of people on Xanax and I guess still coming to terms... That's all (fighting the obvious) Just need time I suppose to admit that I am wanting to off myself entirely 2 often, cry at the everything... I am a cowgirl for f sakes... I just don't know where me has gone.. Ill find her and drag her back, kick her arse for playing in the mud for so long and get back to ME.

I tell you my daughter in laws hair turned blue at the edges.. That's all it took and i only took one puff.. light weight I know

Silly... Indeed you did. No wonder why you gave yourself that handle

I have and they kina just scare the bejeebies out of me.. So I only have a consult set for the 28th of this month I figure it cant hurt to learn?

I am glad that you have found a way to live! I am still struggling with that part but I'm getting better with a little help from this Cluster Custer community I haven't been brave enough to dabble in the MM or RC seeds yet but have recently started the D3 which has helped (hasn't made the boogie man go away entirely) but heck my life has improved and I'm not thinking of death so yea me! I love Montana though I've never really been to visit, passed through as a kid but that's it. Don't do the Mary J although I did try a few months back but I think now days everything is much stronger than when I was a kid coming home with the munchies as when I tried this time to see if it would help my daughter in-laws hair turned blue?? Yikes no bueno went to bed and said never again. Sensitive I suppose? I truly wish you lots of painless days!

LOL.. You crack me up.. One would indeed think that in the land of skittle farting unicorns that you could at least get a script for a pool.....

Hi Spida, Sorry you're here but glad you found this place... There really is something about knowing that you are talking with others that understand what you are going through. I myself am not at a place of experience to offer much in the way of feedback as I have only been living with CH for about 2 years and still feel like I'm walking around blind most of the time. I can say that you hit the jack pot in finding this site though:) Lots of awesome guys and gals on here with mucho experience, more than helpful info and humor to boot! Wishing you pain free days!!!

This is some positive stuff rt here. I like the probably! I like hope, lord knows we all could use some!

I totally get it. I am a Debbie downer quite often even without realizing it (everything just comes out that way). The struggle is real that's for sure.

And yes we paid for the stupid thing in November of 2020! The only bright side to it showing up as we are finally cooling down is that it functions as both a spa and pool so when it's cold you can just heat it up. Down side is I have no idea how much that will cost to keep it hot....

Here is a small pick hopefully that I've cropped down enough...

Lol Spiny !! I tried believe it or not.. I listed it as necessary medical equipment and the tax man said sorry charlie...

Aw poop! I just checked it and your rt.. not working for me either.. it was cool however.. big 74 ton crane and blocked off road (cool neighbors we let know ahead of time all taking picks of a pool in the sky) anyhow it was a good day on a sad day for the world..thank you for talking to me..maybe if the 2mg limit would get increased .. but then again lots of maybes eh...

20210910_075714_001.mp4

On a happy note... I had some life for 2 days between clusters f. Had a excercises pool Crain lifted over my house that I've been waiting for since November of 2020 on Friday and all went well. It was a little harry but how fun would it have been without a bit of a scare ..

Did you mean that you find yourself aquard? By the " left hander term" idk.. I'm all kinds strange. Maybe you did maybe you dident. All I can do is look from the outside. I guess what I do think I know is that anyone with CH is a champ for still being around. I have struggled for much less time than most on here and I'm hoping that maybe I'll get better at handling it like some of you on here. I've probably surffed the forums a bit much since finding this site and maybe not I'm still just walking around blind IMO. This it hard and I suppose I'm just doing what I can to coap, stay sane and talk to people like me.... I've asked myself a bunch of times why I couldn't have been in the 1% of folks that passed the hardest test known to human kind etc. But it really never made me feel any better. I did love and will hold onto something Spiny said "life is what happens in between the clusters " that comment hit me and as much as it stinks it makes sense for where I'm at in my life...

Yes as you can see by my post I struggle with happy. I don't understand the term left hander? Anyhow appreciating what you have is a good thing.

Yes today is a good reminder that even with this monster in our head, there are worse things and fates indeed.

No but I have noticed that doing nothing keeps them around longer. For instance day after yesterday I had a bad one started at 10 in the morning and I had tried everything... Around 9:00 pm my cat got out and spikes were still coming, I had already taken the max medication so I grabbed a white claw all kinds of angry! I know they say don't drink and don't smoke, don't burp or fart sideways … once I got up and got moving and heart thumping spikes went to bed as did I shortly after...

I messaged you the video. Hope you are doing better...

Jeesh Ganuchi! I'm sorry. That sucks butt! Seems like just when we think we have a minute to be ok or when we are on the rt track. KA POW....Maybe today will be better huh? I am going to stay on the D3 as after all what could it hurt???

Yea cause who would ever what to forget about this stuff...LOL. I did drink some strong coffee prior to the o2 remembering Spiny's suggestion in a different post.

Hi Snugs, Yes I initially started out a 150,000 IU with all co-factors but my first go round I tapered down to quickly. I restarted with a even stayed on few extra days before going to the maintenance levels. That's why I was wondering if it jut takes a bit longer to get into the system..

Sorry for all the edits been trying to type with a banger going on...