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Split Personality


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Is there anyone in here that has this condition? 

I can't help it but feel like sometimes, well more so recently that I am not in the drivers seat anymore. 

I am behaving strangely. I have moments like this where I can feel myself.

It feels like I'm hiding and typing this. But also that I'm being watched. 

People and everyone in my circle are noticing strange differences in my personality alot recently. 

I'm concerned.

Feels like something else is saying and doing things I don't mean and  the worst part is that I cannot stop this from happening. 

I'm scared. 

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 Hey @Snowflake. Sorry to hear of the rough go at things! As for mental disorders, understand that they can manifest late in some unfortunate folks.. While late 20's is the most common, late teens are subject as well.  As @Bejeeber and @Shaun brearley have expressly stated it may be time to sit with a professional. No one should have to deal with feeling like they are not in control of their own feelings or as if the feelings they are having don't belong to them. Your mention of  not being in the "Driver's Seat", Folkes noticing a change in your behavior and the feeling of being watched are a bit of a red flag that something is out of balance (possibly a chemical imbalance) (Not uncommon). None of these things are incurable, but are best dealt with by professionals which we are not. We are all here, ready to help should you need.

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7 hours ago, xBoss said:

Are you in your late 20's? That is usually when stuff like schizophrenia starts to show up.

I'm 45 years old. I was sexually abused between the ages of 10 and 14. Also physically bullied and beaten at school during my younger years. Ch started at 16. Had both hips replaced age 30 and 32. Due for intervention. 

We had 2 miscarriages upon the time I was going through hip surgery. 

Had ganglion block done 2019. 

Lost my brother in 2023 through cancer. Age 41. 

And I'm sitting here wondering if there is a spot to go fishing where my car is visible to get to the tank should I have to. 

 

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4 hours ago, Snowflake said:

I'm 45 years old. I was sexually abused between the ages of 10 and 14. Also physically bullied and beaten at school during my younger years. Ch started at 16. Had both hips replaced age 30 and 32. Due for intervention. 

We had 2 miscarriages upon the time I was going through hip surgery. 

Had ganglion block done 2019. 

Lost my brother in 2023 through cancer. Age 41. 

And I'm sitting here wondering if there is a spot to go fishing where my car is visible to get to the tank should I have to. 

 

hey man, that's some rough stuff you have gone through in your life. you still came out on the other end so you know you're strong as hell, so don't give up hope for the better future.
as others have suggested i would go to a psychiatrist and get checked out/tested, just to make sure. meanwhile i strongly suggest you don't touch any psychedelics, they could make things a lot worse.

wishing you all the best and stay strong!

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On 5/31/2025 at 11:18 AM, snafu said:

hey man, that's some rough stuff you have gone through in your life. you still came out on the other end so you know you're strong as hell, so don't give up hope for the better future.
as others have suggested i would go to a psychiatrist and get checked out/tested, just to make sure. meanwhile i strongly suggest you don't touch any psychedelics, they could make things a lot worse.

wishing you all the best and stay strong!

Thank you so much.

It's funny how all this stuff surfaces after I reached 40. All along I had it buried along with a blood stained Tshirt from all the abuse. 

I still faced my abusers as they came for my brothers funeral. 

Makes me angry cos here I am battling to rake up money for oxygen to survive and they are actually millionaires. Living the life. Have a family with kids etc. And we can't have kids and concluded recently that we dont want any. 

My wife also has alot of complications with her health. Yes she still goes to work. 

I on the other hand had been medically boarded from work and I didn't want to be. They put it down to the fact that the company will not alot me to carry an oxygen tank to the work premises and since I walk with a cane, they used all this against me and "worked me out".

 

That's South Africa for you! 

Never looked back cos I had to be the man of the house straight out of school. 

Did manage to save, study and achieve some of my goals however I was limited. 

On Xmas Eve 2001, I was on my way to work in a taxi which list it's back wheel doing 160kmph and it rolled over 3 times. Landed on its roof. 

I got out without a scratch. Helped whoever I could. 

That was also a weird thing that happened. 

I started seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist. I explained what Ch is all about and that I cannot take just any meds they prescribe cos I'm on the D3 Regimen. 

So will see how it goes as time goes by. 

One thing I noticed, when I'm busy, either fixing my car or fishing, I don't get attacks. 

The moment I lay on the couch watching TV, it gets me. 

So I have to be busy as best as my physical conditions allow me to be everyday. 

I have alot of demons. I hope I get to tackle them all and I will not let my entire situation ever stop me from doing things that normal people do. 

Made it this far, will never give up now. 

 

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