Purple

Hi inpatagonia I've read of exercice/running before to abort. Seems it works for some clusterheads. It wouldn't work for me. When I'm right into the cycle, even walking fast increases the pain, as if it increases my blood pressure (?). What I find is that CH changes over time. It might have worked 25-30 years ago (I mean for me), but not anymore. It would be interesting to know details. Busting might be miraculous for some of us, but not for all. In the past month, I busted 4 times. One of these actually seemed to have triggered my cycle for good, but the 4th one worked, but not right away. Slapbacks were strong, but 4 days after (today), looks like I got it. CH is very complex and mysterious, and I don't think there exists a simple and clear method of taming it. And it is different for each of us, and it is different over time. ... what I find interesting in your post is that you run uphill... climbing up a stairway is very difficult for me when in cycle, and going down is nothing. Bending down is nothing, but when I raise back up: ohhhhhhhh. So what IÂ find interesting in this is that you're fighting CH with actually... a trigger (climbing up). What I find after these past 4 busts and other things I noted this past month is actually that busting uses the same... I think our busting agents are also triggers. Fighting fire with fire... I think we still don't know (nor science) how CH operates and why, nor how and why busting works, and that everyone's input and thinking is essential for us to try to discover its mysteries. Hope you can find relief while you are in US, don't forget coffee or energy drinks, they sure help.

Right... So then acting the opposite as LSD and psilo on the same receptors, it is puzzling that it would also "treat" clusters. ...leads me to think it's not a particular action on any receptor that "treats" clusters, but rather that busting would work somewhat as an electroshock of the whole system of serotonin and dopamine, and other substances... a "reseting" effect, which leads the brain and body to re-balance the system by itself... which would explain slapbacks, and the fact that it takes sometimes many busting attempts to get to definitive results, depending on how messed up is the situation in each of our particular cluster head and body (hope I'm making sense ;D) Not sure I would try the med. MaybeÂ

Posting these, I hope I'm helping comprehension of what could be related to clusters... I think it is... circardian rythms, serotonin, dopamine... Since LSD (and similar acting psilo) has an action on clusters, and that these drugs act on the serotonin (5-HT) and dopamine... it helps my comprehension... just tought I'd share

http://www.heffter.org/docs/hrireview/02/chap5.pdf Serotonin, or 5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HT), is a neurotransmitter found in a variety of organisms from the worm to vertebrates. This diverse presence indicates that the serotonergic system is evolutionarily an ancient one. (...) While serotonin is nearly ubiquitous within the brain, the diversity and specificity of serotonin signaling and function arises from the molecules that receive the signals in the various target regions. These target molecules are proteins called receptors. (...) Hallucinogens all have a high affinity for certain serotonin receptor subtypes, namely, the 5-HT2A and 5-HT2C receptor subtypes (...) Other drugs, such as lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), bind to a variety of receptors including the 5-HT2A/2C, 5-HT1A, 5-HT6, 5-HT7, dopamine D1 and D2 and adrenergic receptors and have aspects of behavior mediated through these multiple receptors (...) In addition to inhibiting adenylate cyclase, activation of the receptor leads to closing of calcium channels via the Go subunit and opening of potassium channels via the [ch946][ch947] subunits The serotonin signaling system is very complex. 5-HT2A/2C receptors alone couple to multiple pathways. Each pathway in turn can activate multiple second messengers, (...) The almost limitless number of these signaling possibilities emphasizes the variety and complexities of behaviors influenced by serotonin (...) Conclusion Hallucinogenic drugs interact with the serotonergic system at many levels, from changing intracellular signaling pathways to altering neuron firing patterns to altering gene expression. Due to the complexity of the serotonin system and its multiple behavioral roles, it is perhaps not surprising that hallucinogens can elicit their effects at exquisitely low doses. Given the number of cognitive processes and behaviors in which serotonin is involved, these drugs are in a unique position to be used as tools in understanding the serotonin system. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melanopsin "Dopamine (DA) is a factor in the regulation of melanopsin mRNA in ipRGCs. Because DA synthesis and release in the rat retina are under the control of rods and cones, it appears that rods and cones, in conjunction with or possibly with the exclusion of direct circadian or photic input, control transcription of melanopsin" http://jbr.sagepub.com/content/16/1/25.abstract "Serotonin (5-HT) and 5-HT receptor agonists can modify the response of the mammalian suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) to light. (...) The findings indicate that 5-HT may modulate RHT (retinohypothalamic tract) glutamatergic input to the SCN through 2 or more 5-HT receptors. The likely mechanism of altered RHT glutamatergic input to SCN neurons is an alteration of photic effects on the SCN circadian oscillator. " http://molpharm.aspetjournals.org/content/43/3/313.short Serotonin [5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HT)] is a neuromodulator that mediates a wide range of physiological functions by activating multiple receptors. (...) we have isolated from a mouse brain library a cDNA encoding a new serotonin receptor. Amino acid sequence comparisons revealed that this receptor was a close relative of the previously identified 5-HT5 receptor but was distant from all other 5-HT receptor subtypes; we therefore named it 5-HT5B. When expressed in COS-7 cells, the 5-HT5B receptor displayed a high affinity for the serotonergic radioligand 125I-lysergic acid diethylamide. Its pharmacological profile was distinct from that of all classic 5-HT receptor subtypes. However, the high affinity of the 5-HT5B receptor for 5-carboxamidotryptamine and its low affinity for sumatriptan indicated that it might correspond to recently described 5-HT1D-like binding sites that were labeled with [3H]5-carboxamidotryptamine and insensitive to sumatriptan. http://www.scripps.edu/news/press/2013/20130321stevens.html "Most of the tested drugs showed no bias. However, ergotamine, LSD and some of their relatives turned out to be clearly biased in favor of [ch946]-arrestin signaling at the 5-HT2B receptor. Comparison of the ergotamine-bound 5-HT2B structure with the ergotamine-bound 5-HT1B structure revealed the likely reason. “We could see that when ergotamine is bound to the 5-HT2B receptor it stabilizes the receptor structure in a conformation that interferes with G protein signaling,” said Wacker." (...) . “These structural data are teaching us to ask better questions about receptor biology,” said Stevens.

Reading and thinking aloud  This is complex but... what I learn from these readings is: 1- photosensitive ganglion cells were (re)discovered in 1991 and proved to be a 3rd path for light to enter the brain and control circadian rythms; 2- these ganglion-cells play a major role in controlling circadian rythms; 3- they also control pupil dilatation (a CH symptom); 4- they contribute to suppression of melatonin; 5- Melanopsin is a photopigment found in the photosensitive ganglion cells; Melanopsin "is an opsin, a retinylidene protein variety of G-protein-coupled receptor. Melanopsin is most sensitive to blue light.[1] A melanopsin based receptor has been linked to the association between light sensitivity and migraine pain."; 6- LSD "affects a large number of the G protein coupled receptors" I think this sheds a little more light on how circardian rythms are linked to clusters (correction: oh no, it doesn't actually, but we all know that for sure, don't we?), and how LSD (and surely psilo and others) is linked to circardian rythms... I also discover that LSD doesn't flood the brain with serotonin like I thought it did, au contraire, it cuts off serotonin sources to the telencephalon (cerebrum), which "is the one of the most important parts of the brain, it controls emotion, hearing, vision, personality and many more things." http://flipper.diff.org/app/items/2474 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photosensitive_ganglion_cell In 1991 Russell G. Foster and colleagues, including Ignacio Provencio, discovered a non-rod, non-cone photoreceptor in the eyes of mice. It was shown to mediate circadian rhythms, i.e. the body's 24-hour biological clock.[6] Foster was elected a fellow of the Royal Society in 2008.[7] These novel cells express the photopigment melanopsin, which was first identified by Provencio and colleagues.[8] (...) Compared to the rods and cones, the ipRGC respond more sluggishly and signal the presence of light over the long term.[3] They represent a small subset (~1-3%) of the retinal ganglion cells. Their functional roles are non-image-forming and fundamentally different from those of pattern vision; they provide a stable representation of ambient light intensity. They have at least three primary functions.   They play a major role in synchronizing circadian rhythms to the 24-hour light/dark cycle, providing primarily length-of-day and length-of night information. They send light information via the retinohypothalamic tract directly to the circadian pacemaker of the brain, the suprachiasmatic nucleus of the hypothalamus. The physiological properties of these ganglion cells match known properties of the daily light entrainment (synchronization) mechanism regulating circadian rhythms.   Photosensitive ganglion cells innervate other brain targets, such as the center of pupillary control, the olivary pretectal nucleus of the midbrain. They contribute to the regulation of pupil size and other behavioral responses to ambient lighting conditions.   They contribute to photic regulation of, and acute photic suppression of, release of the hormone melatonin from the pineal gland. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melanopsin (...)a third class of photoreceptor exists in the mammalian eye.[6] In 2000, Provencio determined that melanopsin was expressed only in the inner retina of mammals, including humans,(And inner retina is where and only where the photosensitive ganglion cells are found) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G_protein-coupled_receptor GPCRs are involved in a wide variety of physiological processes. Some examples of their physiological roles include: (...) Behavioral and mood regulation: receptors in the mammalian brain bind several different neurotransmitters, including serotonin, dopamine, GABA, and glutamate http://flipper.diff.org/app/items/info/2913 LSD affects a large number of the G protein coupled receptors, including all dopamine receptor subtypes, all adrenoreceptor subtypes as well as many others. LSD binds to most serotonin receptor subtypes except for 5-HT3 and 5-HT4. However, most of these receptors are affected at too low affinity to be activated by the brain concentration of approximate 10-20 nM. Recreational doses of LSD can affect 5-HT1A, 5-HT2A, 5-HT2C, 5-HT5A, 5-HT5 B and 5-HT6. The hallucinogenic effects of LSD are attributed to its strong partial agonist effects at 5-HT2A receptors as specific 5-HT2A agonist drugs are hallucinogenic and largely 5-HT2A specific antagonists block the hallucinogenic activity of LSD. Exactly how this produces the drug’s effects is unknown, but it is thought that it works by increasing glutamate release and hence excitation in the cortex, specifically in layers IV and V. In the later stages, LSD acts through DARPP-32 - related pathways that are likely the same for multiple drugs including Cocaine, amphetamine, nicotine, caffeine, PCP, ethanol and morphine. A particularly compelling look at the actions of LSD was performed by Barry Jacobs recording from electrodes implanted into cat raphe nuclei. Behaviorally relevant doses of LSD result in a complete blockade of action potential activity in the dorsal raphe, effectively shutting off the principal endogenous source of serotonin to the telencephalon.

my 2 cents on this: I have been using ice for more than 10 years to abort, and many people, MDs included, told me that I shouldn't do that, including the neuro I used to see they don't know CH, really, and I don't care: ice is my best friend; it usually works pretty good (but not always). Ice packs are not cold enough for me, it's gotta be the thinest plastic pellicule possible over real ice. When the CH is lower than, say Kip 4, it's actually difficult to hold it against my neck and especially temple for it's too cold, so I leave it there 30 sec, one min. It becomes double pain, ice and CH, take it off, rub a little with my hand, then again ice... At Kip 5 and over, I don't feel the pain from the ice anymore, it's only relief (well somewhat), and the ice melts much faster. I have never experienced redness like sunburn, not that I remember anyways, but I noticed recently I can't hold it on my temple very long, even at Kip 5 and over, the cold is hard to take there, too sensible, but also my pain is mostly in the neck these past years. As for the "lightning-bolt" pain, lasting just a very brief time (less than a second), I get those too. They come in the daytime usually, after a rough night, when I kind of float in a hazy world (sleep deprivation, persistent strong shadows)... it's like a sudden Kip 5 or 6 that lasts, yes, less than a second. CHfather, I don't remember what are your daughter's reasons for not having o2, but I can relate to that. I never did much effort to get it myself. Having that bottle in the corner would be a constant reminder that I'm sick, and I feel it would depress me more than help me. Ice and coffee (really, strong coffee is amazing to abort) work probably as well from what I read as o2, and I don't feel like I'm hooked on a bottle... the ice bag hides in the freezer unnoticed ^^ I'm not sure about the air blowing though, especially if it's air conditionning, mixed with ice (wet face?) ... I don't know, sounds like a mix for catching a cold... is this air free of bacterias? mixed with a wet skin... I don't know. What kind of machine is it? is it old? I figure this is where the redness could come from, maybe. As others here have reminded me a couple times, this beast changes its tactics over time. I get very little pain in the eye now, as opposed to most of the pain 30 years ago... so it wouldn't be surprising that she experiences changes in how the pain shows up. I see no reason for her to suddenly develop trigeminal neuralgia, do you?

It is well known amongst trippers that Valium is what you need if the LSD trip gets out of control, but I never heard of taking it at the same time... Sergical, if you read my recent busting stories, you'll get a good glimpse of what to expect. It really depends on how much you take, and that is always difficult to know. My tabs were probably weak. You have to always expect a big trip, and that means: be careful, be in a safe environment, and ideally supervised by someone who is not on acid. Generally speaking, I'd say it's a very pleasant voyage, so really, you shoudn't fear, just be cautious.

very, very sad news, double bad, he was so young. A great loss for us and his family. May his spirit live on here and within us

After busting three times, once with M and twice with LSD, I seem to be back at square one and in the middle of a cycle with no possibility (it seems) to sleep. I'm asking myself the same questions, Sergical. Just to let you know you're not aloneÂ

Sitting here in front of my screen and drinking coffee in the middle of the night (oh well it's morning now) to try to tame the beast, I was simply searching for an image of the hypothalamus, when Google directed me to this Web site. I spent many hours exploring it with fascination. It has shed light on many aspects of the brain which were still a total mystery to me. It is not intended at neophytes like us, so large parts of it get much beyond my capacity of total comprehension, but I think it's helping me connecting dots and creating a clearer picture of all that could relate to the brain and its chemical actions, and maybe a better understanding of cluster headaches. Serotonin sure is a key issue, and I now understand much more why. Parts are in Italian, but large chunks are in English (with maybe an Italian accent, not sure for English is not my first language either... some sentences seemed twisted a bit). No doubt for me though that these people know what they are talking about. This web application is a discussion tool between teachers and students at Medicine and Chirurgy department at the Turin University, but its structure can be usefull for Continuum Interactive Training. So I'm pasting some links that have attracted my attention, but one can navigate through the site and find more, plus links to external sites of much interest, and many many images helping to see how the brain works. Maybe it offers nothing new to some of you, but it sure helps me getting a clearer picture of how these chemicals rule us. For one thing, I learned that even sexual orientation could be only a matter of brain chemicals but there is also a detailed explanation of the chemical actions involved in kissing... so, from the simplest thing as hunger and sleep to the most unexpected, discover serotonin, dopamine and their actions... nuf said. Just read. (also attaching one of the images that fascinated me) serotonin http://flipper.diff.org/app/pathways/info/1637 http://flipper.diff.org/app/tags/322 lsd http://flipper.diff.org/app/items/info/4051 psilo http://flipper.diff.org/app/items/info/4384 sexual orientation http://flipper.diff.org/app/items/5015 vitamin D http://flipper.diff.org/app//tags/26 gliotransmission http://flipper.diff.org/app/items/info/5032

that would be a rather short cycle for me... or does she mean one single 6 weeks attack? hmmm improbable

hmmm don't know, could be good, could be not. It seems to work on, amongst others, some of the receptors... I'm not informed enough to have an opinion, but it's an antagonist of serotonin and dopamine receptors, would maybe make sense that it works. "(...)serotonin 5HT2A receptors, properties shared by most second-generation antipsychotics. Lurasidone also has high affinity for serotonin 5HT7 (higher relative in vitro binding than for dopamine D2 and 5HT2A) and is a partial agonist at 5HT1A receptors; it is believed that these properties can be potentially related to effects on cognition and mood (7-9). However,(...)" It's a fairly new med (2010 in USA) good info about it here, it was approved by Health Canada less than a year ago http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/dhp-mps/prodpharma/sbd-smd/drug-med/sbd_smd_2012_latuda_145406-eng.php and here http://www.clinicalschizophrenia.net/pdfs/FeaturedPaper-Citrome.pdf And I'm not sure I understand the outcomes that Potter points to for insurance A French blog (France) says its probably never going to be approved in France because similar to other meds and verrrrrry expensive (all meds are covered by the state in France) Adding this: CHfather, thanks for thinking I could have something interesting to say on this, but I actually don't really understand, for example, why SSRIs won't do anything to help us when they play in the same grounds... But I remember I heard recently Dr ... who was it again, the British Dr wanting to do research on psilo (Gotby?), anyways he was saying that psilocibin was very selective in the way they act with only certain serotonin receptors, and that that was why it was active the way it is, and I suppose this could be also the case with Latuda, but I really would need to read more to say something intelligent on the subject :-P

:-(

Again thanks for your info, Ricardo, I'm glad I bumped that thread up. LSD seemed to have cleared my head so completely... but the slapbacks I had last night tells me it is not, as I was thinking since last week, the universal remedy. Back to reality. I will adopt your way of switching substances. True BOL could be taken by the spoonful, but what would be the outcome of this on the long run, as Kleinsopp underlines, and how to test that?

Yes. I fully agree with you. Why bother, LSD works also at low dosages it seems, altough I'm not sure to what extent, and has a clean record I think. But the possibility of a trip makes it a substance to treat with great respect and done under supervision and/or in a safe environment. All perceptions are changed, so it can get really tricky and even dangerous, depending on the dosage, and one can rarely be certain of that, since it's illegal. Surely it's the best busting substance for CH but still to always be taken with great respect and precautions.

Hang on Karen, we're with you. If you don't have oxygen... (you should definitely look into that), ice has been for me the best treatment since 1999 when I figured it out (before I found ClusterBusters). I freeze my temple and/or neck untill it's numbed by holding a bag of ice directly where it hurts. Might not be very good to do that but hey, it works (well somewhat... It can abort within 10-15 minutes, but sometimes it doesn't). Most people here advocate Red Bull or other energy drinks, they do work for me, yes, but I think it's mostly the cafeine in there that does the job (sorry, I don't believe taurine does anything at all, but that's me), so what I do is drink 3-4 strong cups of coffee in a row (instant) and I find it does the same as energy drinks, with no sugar, and for much cheaper (I'm poor). With either one though, they have to be drank quickly. As for the vitamin D regimen, many if not most members report good results. I didn't carry on though, so I couldn't testify on this one. I had tried to eat food containing or boosting testosterone and I had found they helped. The only one I remember is oysters (smoked oysters). Did anyone else give you their opinion on how long the detox should be for you since you were taking lithium? It is recommended that you detox gradually; I was told it can be dangerous to stop any medication cold turquey. So the detox process is actually longer than 5 days. That is 5 days at least without any meds, not counting the days where you decreased the meds. The other 2 meds you were taking... what are they again?

glad for you, Brad [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Karen, I've been away from the board for a while and I don't grow (yet), so to make sure you get accurate info, I'll let someone else guide you. I know you can buy complete growing kits and spores to set up your own "shroomery"... you can maybe get info here http://www.shroomery.org/ , but I would wait for advice from other members of Clusterbusters who are experienced in growing and who can lead you to the right threads and all, same goes for ordering RC seeds online, I'd have to do a search to find the right threads and right links... I bought mine from Tranceplants http://www.tranceplants.net/product-info.php?pid141.html , and I think they still are a reliable supplier... there is was? also iamshaman http://www.iamshaman.com/default.htm (can't find RC seeds on their site, wonder why) you may try to search the clusterbuster board (by using the search field) for threads related to shrooms or RC seeds), but I'm certain members who keep good track of everything going on here will give you better answers shortly You will also I guess, like others before, need courage to quit your present medications and wait 5 or more days (lithium has a long half life so may need more than 5 days detox) before busting, 5 days of hell maybe but it's worth it. For this detox period, you may rely on the other tricks to cope with hell: oxygen, energy drinks (redbull and others), cafeine, ice (heat for some)... CHfather can summarize all this way better than me. You may want to look at his posts if he doesn't answer you here today.

Hi Karen Welcome to the board. You came to the right place. The type that contains psilocin and/or psilocibin, known as magic mushrooms (MM), any of them (there are many strains). The first step for "busting" is to detox from certain medications, and lithium is one from which you should start detoxing from as soon as possible if you want to bust because it can be a real problem if it's mixed with any psychedelic substance (MM is one). Some prescribed medications can maybe remain and work along with busting, but lithium definitely needs to be stopped for at least 5 days, and I think it is advised longer, before busting. Lithium is particularly a problem and should never be crossed with busting. There are other "busting agents", LSD, and flower seeds containing LSA: RC seeds (Ryvea Corymbosa) being the most common. The RC seeds will result in little or no psychedelic effect but still efficient to bust. The seeds are somewhat legal and can be ordered by mail (what is illegal with the LSA containing seeds is only to ingest them), the other busting agents are illegal; most people here will advise you to grow your own, but if you're looking for relief as soon as you can, you cannot consider growing for now. En résumé, you're first step is to stop your medications (well not sure about DHE and Namenda, but definitely lithium), second is to order RC seeds by Internet (don't have the links at hand but others will chime in), and you may want to try getting other busting substances some other way, which will most probably be illegal, either LSD or mushrooms (reffered to here as MM or Vitamin M, or psilo), and I'll let other members guide you from here as I'm not the most organized. Oh yes, oxygen... I don't use oxygen myself, so I cannot tell you much about it, but other members will guide you towards this. Many if not most members here cherish their oxygen tank.

I doubt very much anyone can know how much micrograms there is in a blotter unless they made them (dipped) themselves, and even then... best is to get infos, as diamondmaker said, about the lenght and strenght of the trip with how many... As the example with the elephant who died instantly when given a high dose of it, weight doesn't matter, rather the size of the brain (probably). According to what I read, and my experience 2 days ago, I doubt very much there are 220 ug on the market nowadays, most probably 50 or 80 ug , and as diamondmaker says, probably degraded, but it's impossible to know exactly. Albert Hofmann took 250 ug in 1943 and decribed a very colourful... a full trip. What I took the other day was probably degraded 50 or 60 ug's. I took 2, the trip was very mild (5 hours total but very light), but it still cleared my head. I took 2 without knowing... the only danger in doing this is to get very high. I would advise to start with one (if you get your hands on it), unless you don't fear tripping. My last experience confirms my taughts: this is the best substance there is. I feel renewed today, reset button clicked, it also got me in a much better mood, besides clearing my head and pushing away my CH

hmmm... maybe because it's at around that age that big hormone changes happen?... for men at least, rushes of testosterones that also lead in acnea, which is more common on teen boys than on teen girls. The rush of hormones (I know nothing in particular in that domain, just guessing) is not well channeled because of pre-existing malfunctions with hypothalamus and results in this mess. (and as far as I know, CH still hits more men than women, and often around 18) Same would apply with women who get their first CH going through menopause, that is not uncommon, is it? I'm pretty sure all of our busting agents would also help very much any woman going through menopause, and I think I read two testimonies about this here 2 days ago (might have been an old post) My brother had CH also, his started at around 38 years old, which is also an age where hormone changes can happen in a male (CH hit me very hard also at around that age), that is the start of a lowering of testosterone. And same goes for a member of this board who went trough a big hormonal change through a sex reassignment procedure that triggered her first CH. I don't think I ever lacked testosterone until recently (I'm actually in the range but on the low side), still, this testosterone never seem to actually take effect on my body, as my shoulders, my muscles... never expanded. It seems to me like my body was never able to absorb correctly the testosterone it itself produced. Many of us I think are the skinny type... adding this: I still have acnea, and it come in cycles. And I'm 51 !! (I remember I couldn't wait to be a full man and have no more of these pimples >)

just saw this thread... August of 1980, I was 18. I... yes, 1980. I had never thought of linking this with Boy George and Thriller but it makes sense ;D I had been hitchiking alone across Canada and after finding out I was wayyyy too early for apple picking in the Okanagan Valley (I was 18 hey), I headed back East. I was pretty much out of money when I left Osoyoos, so except a few meals with fries offered by my rides, and oh yeah a good farmer breakfast in Calgary at a friend's house (first time I had hashbrowns [smiley=thumbsup.gif], unkown in my native Québec), I had not eaten nor slept much when the Beast first hit me. Actually, what I recall as my first encounter with CH was my 2nd encounter... more on this later. So I meet this guy, where was it, must have been in Manitoba, and we decide to hitchike together. I remember at one point, we were around Kenora, that's close to the Manitoba-Ontario border. I was dead tired and tried to sleep by the side of the road while my collegue was hitchiking for us. The sound and draft of the passing 18 wheelers was rocking my troubled sleep. When I woke up, I asked my collegue what time it was, and it took three or four "what?" before I realized (remembered) he did not speak French. Actually he did a little, but my asking was in slang Québec French so he could not pick it up at all. These details in just to set up the frame of the attack. We finally get this ride in the middle of the night after like 16 hours on that damn 17 Highway near Kenora, but the woman was mostly looking for a spare driver and neither of us knew how to drive. So... So yes, she droped us in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night (ahhh the good old days ). The next day, a guy with a gleaming car picks us up and whoa... he's taking us all the way to Ottawa, a close to 24 hours drive. I ask if it's ok that I sleep on the back seat while we eat miles. That is when it hit me. Kip 12 I think... moaning, screaming, hitting my head on the door handles... big time trouble, really didn't know what was happening, the Devil was there trying to pull my eye out of its socket. Imagine the face of the two others who I barely knew when they looked back. They were totally freaked out. I don't remember how long it lasted exactly, but it was a major one (compared to what followed the years after); I lost track of time, really, but it must have been an hour or so. Waking up from the deads, I was feeling really shitty, and the driver asked me if I was hungry. I wasn't sure but figured I needed to eat. We're both flat broke, so he offers us a big meal at Burger Krook or McSomething and I hop back in the car with my 7Up... I place the drink, which is held in the usual waxed paper glass, on the dash while I buckle up, and leave the 7Up there. One turn too much and ooopsy, the 7Up splashes all over the dash and leaks into the fan cracks and all over. The driver was really upset about that and every 2-3 miles, he would thump the steering wheel and shout "F**ck! That F**cking 7up in my dash, I don't believe this!!" So I told him to just drop me off there, anywhere, I was feeling so bad. But he refused and took us both to Ottawa. The next hit from the Beast would come in the week that followed, and the others... It was very bad then, like 3-4 hits every night, and big ones always. For the next 6-7 years, I would get a cycle about every 6-8 months. But yeah, I realized afterwards that that was my 2nd encounter with the beast. A few days earlier, I had a ride in the Saskatchewan Great Plains by a old farmer with a 1955 pick up truck which seemed difficult to change gears. I never could expect this, but this old guy with a strayhat tells me: "You want to smoke a joint?" I was really surprized. Well of course, I was barefoot and had long hair so that someone figures I would like to smoke a joint is no surprise, but from an old farmer? He handed me a small joint and told me to light it up. I peeked in the rolled joint before I lit it, and it was reddish... I don't know what stray that was, but was reddish... So it gives us a good buzz (well me anyways), then he stops at a service station to fill up, and I annouce that I'm going for a pee. There was a congestion at the toilet, so I'm waiting in line in the sunshine (Saskatchewan sun ooohhhhhh)... Then I just lost it. I fell unconscious, bang, right there all of a sudden. People helped me up, and I was in a haze... I told the farmer after a few minutes I was stopping here, and he didn't want me to, being worried about me, but I insisted, picked up my bag and ran away in search for a place in the shadow of the sun to try to recapture... Oh yeah, it's Saskatchewan... I hadn't thought about the fact that there is NO shade in Saskatchewan. I stayed in some sort of a field, hiding from the sun under my backpack... stayed there for many hours. I don't remember extreme pain, but it seemed as though all my body's chemistries were mixed up and tangled, and my brain twisted. I remember thinking: "what the f**k was in that joint?", but many years after, I figured it was the Beast's very first visit, to be followed by the story I told earlier in the ride taking us across Ontario. Back home, I did my first attempts at getting answers from a doctor. She had none. She prescribed Fiorinal, to which I stuck for a year (they didn't help much). When I went back to the same doctor to get a renewal on what seemed to me at the time like the only possible soothing of this excrutiating (spelling right?) pain, she (the doctor) gave me a hint of what was to be my life from now on. She said: "No, I'm not renewing this prescription, this is very addictive stuff and I'm not the kind of doctor who prescribes this on the long term. You have a mysterious disease which is probably unknown to science, and from now on, you will have to face the pain and live with it". Her words were very sententious and they still echo in my head as of today. I took it, yes, as a sentence and figured I was doomed to live a life fighting a beast bare hand, which turned out to be pretty much the case. In the two decades that followed, I saw 3 or 4 doctors who all raised their shoulders and did not prescribe anything at all. Only in 2007 did my nephew, who was then a paramedic and suffered CH also but chronic, wrote for me on a piece of paper: Verapamil, Imitrex, and Clinique de la migraine (in Montréal), where I saw a neurologist who said: CH? easy, we have the solution. And her solution wasn't very good either, and that's why I'm here now. If I would have known... probably I would have been hit by the beast earlier in my life if not for my regular use of LSD since I was early 16. I should have kept on taking that miraculous tab... but I figured it was probably not going to help my head, so I didn't... and suffered. So that was my first time, long story hey? hope that was entertaining and sorry for my sentences with an accent

I'd like to add to these thoughts that not only the weather is stable in certain places, but near the equator, days and nights are always 12 hours. I do get cycles during Winter (I'm up in what they call Canada, so about what... 8 hours of daytime in the Winter), but I do get them in the start of the summer also (16 hours daylight) like now. And our Winters are mostly clear weather, blue sky and bright sun (but minus 10-20 celcius) except the days we get snow, but the clouds never stay more than a day or 2. It would make real sense that it would be related to light, but I think pressure and light... well I think weatherman sums up pretty well the picture: the core remains mysterious, just as is the how psilo, lsd and other substances exactly affect our brain story, so one mystery heals another one, makes sense. haha

My sympathies for your beloved dog Taco. I don't remember crying as a trigger, but it very well could be. I think this could be linked with any other situation that have us relaxing, like eating too much, sleeping, after-work stress relieving... alcohol... You were under a certain amount of stress prior, and the crying had you releiving this stress... makes sense to me.

Yes. Well actually, after all these years without any specific medication, I developped some sort of meditation state which helps me cope with the rising pain, and control some of it. When I'm on CH, I have to not listen to anything like music or talk radio, and certainly never a conversation, especially involving me. Nothing that tends to lead somewhere, to a goal on which I have to concentrate. I have to retreat and try to... meditate, and focus on myself. My last bust, my 1st with M, 2 weeks ago... I realized how close these two states are, under CH or under M. It brought me many side symptoms that are the same as when I'm under the control of CH, one of these being the fact that I couldn't take it when my friends (not on M) talked... their sayings were too long, I couldn't wait for them to get to the point, which made me very anxious and uncomfortable everytime someone started to tell something. And it's the exact same when I'm on CH, except it also increases my pain. For me, there is no doubt the busting substances bring me to a state ressembling CH, or ressembling the state I need to adopt when on CH, not sure if it's one or the other