I am so lucky. My family is so supportive. Right now my spouse is skipping work to go to the o2 place to try to get them to give me a new tank even though we didn’t follow the 24-hour order rule.
Even with all this love, generosity, support from my family (which oh my gosh, I know I am so @*^#% lucky to have) I realized in the middle of last night—snot pouring out of my nostril mixing with tears; cries waking up the neighbors, sending them to google to find an exorcist—I realized pain like this… unimaginable pain… unspeakable pain… is just so lonely.
All this to say, between pounding my head against the wall, passing out for 20 or 30 minutes, up again in agony, cursing-crying, etc. I’ve been reading the archives here and feeling pure love, empathy, gratitude for all of you people. I still feel lonely as hell, but at least we’re all lonely as hell together.