LP3, only those of us in this hell can understand your rage and feelings of hopelessness. But DO NOT give in to those feelings. You did well to vent to your brothers and sisters on here. We all get it.
I dosed this morning at 4 am and then stood in the kitchen about an hour ago and wept as a KIP 8/9 hit me again. I was devastated. I could hear laughter and happiness in the next room as family celebrated-just as it should be. .
The beast had once again reared its ugly head on one of the holiest times of the year for our family. I hate being made the center of attention when the beast interrupts everyone’s life - not just mine. No one complains because they understand-as much as they can anyway AND because they love me
After the entire family prayed for me I was humiliated by once again being the center of attention. I was grateful for the love but once again I had been crushed by the beast. However, I somehow found the strength to get back into the fight
So I open the forums and your post is the first one I see. Surprisingly I wasn’t discouraged by it but my first thought was LP3 needs us. Of course, so many had responded that very day to you with kindness and understanding that only a fellow cluster head can have.
it dawned on me that is what keeps us all going in those dark moments: the fact that we’re not alone, that someone somewhere needs to hear that someone else understands, and that there is no way in hell we will let each other down.
thank you for your post and I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend-despite the beast.