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Well damn! That just sux and bloze as the jeebster would say!! Sorry to see that the Beast is having his way with so many of us!! On a positive note though, I'm thinkin maybe the bastard Beast overheard a conversation I had in the past couple of days regarding DiMiTri and got skeered!!! After having heavy shadows all day I went to sleep at 9 last nite and woke up at 8 this morning......zero, zilch, nada in the hits department!! This after 2 back to back 6 hit nites!!! Feelin quite refreshed this mornin so my mantra at bedtime going forward shall be, " better behave Beast or I'll get DiMiTri after ya!!!"

That was me. In 2011 I had 257 cluster attacks (plus 276 normal headaches and 42 migraines). It was a bad year. My doctor-prescribed meds were actually making the clusters worse. I'd only had 63 the year before (and I thought THAT was a bad year). By October I had had enough. I was sitting at my computer with my calendar in hand planning the day to exit planet Earth. I decided to give myself 1 year to find a solution or else that would be that. Then, in that moment as I was selecting the day, I remembered someone had given me a link to this forum about LSD and Magic Mushrooms. At the time, I was just starting my journey as my clusters only started in Jan 2007. I still had other doctor meds to explore and things to try before I turned to hallucinogens. So, I bookmarked the site. But in that very moment when I was planning the end, I remembered Clusterbusters. So, I joined and started reading and asking questions. Within a few days, I started weening myself off Topiramate and I met with my GP to explain to her my plan. It took me 6 weeks to get clean of Topiramate (it was too fast, I should have taken twice that long). During all of those six weeks, I spent every free moment on this site. I studied the clusterbuster files and made friends. Once clean, I started on an alternating pattern of shrooms and seeds. I taught myself how to grow my own medicine, which was an amazing experience. I loved being in control of the process, start to finish. In 2012, my clusters dropped to 169 and I only had 3 migraines. So far this year, 2024, I've had a grand total of 2 cluster attacks, each lasting less than 30 seconds. I'm not even sure they are technically clusters, but they have all the hallmarks. Ultra-intense pain, watery eye, drippy nose, energy drop that lasts hours. But, all in a compact 30 seconds of terror. Also, after my first dose of shrooms, my post-traumatic stress attacks that I'd get after every cluster headache vanished. I used to rock back and forth, crying my eyes out for 30 minutes after every attack. Sorry, I'm talking about treatment, not suicide. I've gone off-topic. I don't have an issue with suicide. I know that's a bold thing to say, but I don't. I've had daily suicidal thoughts from the age of 7 till I was 41. I firmly believe that when my day comes, it'll be by my hand. But not this day. Not when there is a remedy. Not when there is hope. There is life after clusters. I can attest to that. OK, I'm still dealing with 400 headaches and migraines a year, but my clusters are so trivial I barely notice them when they do strike. You have to be prepared to fight. You have to be your own doctor, herbologist and test subject. You have to be prepared so you don't get hit out of the blue. Understand how to prevent them. Try the D3, try everything. Don't give up! You'll make me angry and I'll swear at you if you give up! Mox

I have been there, I had the talk with my wife. Thank god things changed. Today I am still suffering with migraines and Clusters but have gotten peace within my self, I no longer prey every night that I will die and end this! Its a tough life living with extreme pain and having no controll over it. I have learned to love the good days and plow through the bad days. I can say that life is better when you love life rather than hate life constantly praying for death. I know that this is more like rambling but I hope you can find some peace within. Hang in there.

"Pray from both ends". That is another REALLY good one , for a really awful situation. You must be reaching some genuinely therapeutic levels to have had such a reaction, right? I mean c'mon, there's gotta be an upside there somewhere.

Lol jeebs I'm super serious! Grind, soak gag and choak over here.. it is odd that so many of us are same timing it.. I have upped everything so much that my tummy hates me! Uff.. the porcelain God has manifested its self and seems to think i should pray from both ends This 2 shall pass. In the famous words of @Dallas Denny...ONWARD!!