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The need for a laugh thread


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Not sure if this is supposed to be funny or not.  Saw this guy on Tosh.0 and can't stop singing this song.

"wish real hard and it goes away somehow"

It's not supposed to be funny. That's what's so great about it!

HE MOVES AWAY FROM THE MIC TO BREATHE IN.

He got paid by Dr.Pepper to do that, because of it. XD
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You know what doesn't work great with dogs? Miming. FML!!

First of all, I've lost my voice entirely...

My dogs needed to go out. This was a problem. The cocker spaniel likes for me to tell her to go to the door.

So I mime go to the door, pointing, gesturing, and finally she gets it. I let her out, she comes back in...

I try getting my boxer-retriever Bella, to go outside.

She's kinda afflicted.

I gesture to come here, slap my leg, y'know, stuff you do when you're trying to get a dog to come...

She stares at me and wags her tail.

I'm miming GET OVER HERE G.D. IT. COME TO ME.

NOPE.

Finally my Aunt notices and tells her to go to the door if she wants out. Bella understands this and comes.

I let her out, let her back in, and flip both dogs off for being difficult asses. They might not understand it, but everybody else sure does!! If I COULD laugh at this, I totally would. XD

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I let her out, let her back in, and flip both dogs off for being difficult asses. They might not understand it, but everybody else sure does!! If I COULD laugh at this, I totally would. XD

Well I can laugh at that, and totally did.  ;D

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  • 4 weeks later...

Here's the latest fun I've had, that I've been laughing at.

Be forwarned, I was kinda in a cranky mood when all of this happened, because all sorts of fecked up shit was going on, but for some reason, this one little thing just made me RAAAAAGE.

I've laughed pretty hard about my overreaction to it, so did my family, and everyone else I've told.

So, I thought my shunt tubing popped out of place. The local ER here did too, misreading the CT scan. (It's simply recoiled into my belly. It's still working just fine.) I was transported to Galveston via ambulance.

I get there. I'm feeling hot thanks to the pain meds, and they then they decide to put on the most fecking annoying thing I can think of.

20110329144114.jpg

These. They're to prevent Deep Vein Thrombosis. Um...I can get up and walk around, it just hurts at this point. I'm not one to lay in bed much in the hospital. If I'm on pain meds, I will get up and move around. There's no reason to try to put these godforsaken things on me.

Basically what they do is... I'm just gonna copy it from wikipedia.

"In use, an inflatable jacket (sleeve, glove or boot) encloses the limb requiring treatment, and pressure lines are connected between the jacket and the air pump. When activated, the pump fills the air chambers of the jacket in order to pressurize the tissues in the limb, thereby forcing fluids, such as blood and lymph, out of the pressurized area. A short time later, the pressure is reduced, allowing increased blood flow back into the limb."

So basically it squeezes my legs a little, then deflates. And it kinda itches.

The nurse who puts  them on me is like "Is like massage, yes?"

"No. It's itchy and irritating."

I told a nurse "I will get up, walk around, do a freaking JIG if you want me to, if I can get rid of these things. They itch, and I want to set whoever made them on FIRE."

She was like "Sorry hon, this is the neurology floor, and the doctor who runs it has a cow if he sees patients without these on, and then we nurses catch hell. Talk to him when he does his rounds."

So, I do, and his response is "Oh, you just need some Ted's Hose on under those. That'll make it better."

I just told you I'd get up...walk around.... move...sit in chairs...

And your response is... LET'S ADD SOME COMPRESSION HOSE TO THIS, WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THESE FREAKING CREEPY THINGS ON IT? AUUUUUUUUUUGH.

I decided at that point I wanted to hunt down whoever came up with them, attach these to EVERY LAST LIMB and body part of theirs, then shove one set on fire down their throat.

I told my Mom this as soon as she got up to the hospital there and she cracked up. So did my Aunt.

Now see, they put these on me when I have had to have shunt surgery, and I don't mind them then. It was just having them on RIGHT THEN for a few hours that focused my rage.

Then I raged once I found out my family had wasted like $100 coming all the way to Galveston because I DIDN'T need shunt surgery, then I got my head out of my ass and was thankful I didn't have to be cut open.

The horrific adventures of Mysti continue!

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