detox hell

[chrisw]

So I am trying to detox for a bust on Fri, I got through the first two nights,  then last night, I got hit so hard, then my O2 wasnt helping at all, during a Kip 9-10.  I started having a panic attack,  sometimes, I feel like I cant breathe with that mask over my face.  I know its stupid, but its psychological, and it only happens when I have been on it for a long time, and its not helping.  I gave in and took a little trex.  I know its still only five days, and that should be enough time for busting. 

   I was shooting for seven days, but I dont know if I am strong enough to do this.  I mainly get hit during sleep, and attacks are getting harder and harder.  I am getting them about 20 min after I fall asleep all night long.  So all in all I am prob getting about an hour and a half of sleep every nigh, in 20 min segments. 

     I dont even know why i am posting this, I guess, I just feel so sad and depressed, I dont know if I am strong enoughto  do this,   and to be quite honest,  i am getting real tired of this fight.  Busting was my last option,  I tried the D3, got my levels to optimum level, didnt help,  meds that used to help are becoming less and less effective.  If I cant muster up the strength to go tonight through friday, drug free,  I think its time to throw in the towel.

   Where do you guys find the strength?  Even though my meds werent real effective, I cant notice a real difference without them, and I am in hell, and even my O2 doesnt seem to be helping like it did when on preventative meds.   HELP

[BeastBuster]

Hey Chris I am so sorry you are struggling with this Demon. I don't know if this method will help you but it sure has for me. I bought a little silver bullet vibrator and when I am awoken by the beast, I chug a monster and put the vibrator on my sinus, eyeball, back of head, temple, and anywhere else that may help the pain. It has made a world of difference for me, in being able to bear the pain. I pray this helps you find some sort of relief.

[chrisw]

thanks I have a vibrator like that,  maybe I will try it tonight.  I keep thinking how fullfulling it would be to wait until it got real bad and shoot myself in the head.  Its all i think of, I cant do that because of  my kids and husband,  but if I didnt have those responsibilities,  BAM.  This isnt living,  this is worse than death.

[Clusterman59]

Hey again Chris...

I saw your post over on our fb site and commented there but wanted to just say to stay as positive as you can as friday is your big day and you can make it. It may take several busts to work for you but even if it doesn't work which I think it will but even if it doesn't you have beautiful children that need you and you can draw strength from them even if it is just looking at them as I take one look at my son and know that I could never leave him and I have been where you are many many times...He is my rock after the best part of 40 years chronic he is all I need to keep fightin the good fight... Keep smiling!...Johnny...

[Bejeeber]

That is clearly a seriously fecked situation you're in Chrisw, I just hope that after you run the detox gauntlet this week you get some good busting relief.

Certainly there are headbangers who have been in a similar severe situation, but have somehow made it through, and are now so glad they managed to stick it out.

Please listen to Cman59/Johnny who has made it through 40 years chronic, and is enjoying some good life now.

I read your previous posts about how cafergot can work for you when you're on the seizure meds, but vit M is blocked, and I can see why you became interested in paper.

I know we're all racking our brains here trying to think of some ways for you to deal with the upcoming week. Ordinarily I'd bring up melatonin for those night hits, up to 21mg, and trying an energy shot/drink along with the O2, since some CH'ers report it can make the difference between O2 working or not, plus they can somehow go back to sleep despite the caffeine blast, but I figure that's all probably old hat stuff to you..?

The only other thing that's occurring to me at the moment is whether you're hyperventilating super high flow O2? If anyone should be using a full on O2 demand valve system right now, I'm thinking it's YOU. Hell I do know from experience though that in a crushing high cycle even the huffing of high flow O2 can be iffy for the major wake up hits.  :'(

Just know that you have a helluva cheering squad here and we're pulling for you in a major way to get to that Friday busting goal.

[CHfather]

the usual thoughtful and caring advice from folks here, chrisw.  i sure hope it helps.  pulling for you.

BeastBuster, can you say more about that vibrator?  What it's like (I can't tell whether "silver bullet" is a description of the thing itself, or of your feeling that it's a "silver bullet" for reducing CH pain).  If it's some special kind, maybe where I could get one?  If you're just talking about a vibrator vibrator (any kind will do), I can probably figure out how to get one of those.

[BeastBuster]

Chfather, the silver bullet is just the name of the simple vibrators. It's a small silver sort of bullet shaped vibrator. You could say it has been my silver bullet for fighting these. I go in panic mode if I don't have it with me when the beast strikes. Here is a link to one like I us: http://www.amazon.com/Vibrating-Silver-Bullet-Teardrop-Controller/dp/B00BLDTXU8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369070701&sr=8-1&keywords=silver+bullet

[Clusterman59]

As BJ said you have a bunch of folks cheering you on and knowing you will make it!! The night hits seem to be the worst and that was my biggest obstacle too as when your gettin back to back K-9's and 10's it does take a toll but melatonin starting at 10mg and building up to 24 mg "IF necessary" did help me and many others that I know but some times as everyone is different they may take some time to build up in your system but well worth trying to get you through. When the o2 doesn't work or you don't have any I would use 2 bags of frozen peas that form to your bad side and neck and chew popsicle's on the bad side.

Sometimes a very hot bath as hot as you can stand it helps too using really hot wash clothes on your neck and bad side and do it with the lights off in total darkness and that process does tend to relax you and many times for me would give me some extra sleep time. I too used to use a vibrator and not always but many times would help...WERE CHEERING YOU ON CHRIS!! YOU CAN DO IT!!...

[CHfather]

Chfather, the silver bullet is just the name of the simple vibrators. It's a small silver sort of bullet shaped vibrator. You could say it has been my silver bullet for fighting these. I go in panic mode if I don't have it with me when the beast strikes. Here is a link to one like I us: http://www.amazon.com/Vibrating-Silver-Bullet-Teardrop-Controller/dp/B00BLDTXU8/...

Thanks, BB!

[alleyoop]

chrisw,

If I'm reading this right, you started detoxing two days ago.  The recommended time to wait is 5 days, so you should be good to go by Wednesday, instead of Friday. 

I have no idea if there are other mitigating factors, such as work days or whatever, but if the pain gets so that you can't bear it, I recommend going ahead and busting as early as tomorrow.  You may not get as good of a bust, but it should give you at least some temporary relief.

Feel free to PM me and I will be happy to help in any way I can.

Hang in there!

Bob B.

[chrisw]

thank you all for the nice words and support.  now that the pity party i gave to myself is over,  I realize I have to make a decision.  I have to either start detox from scratch, or say forget it for now and go back on prevent meds for a while.  Last night I said to myself, since I gave in and took trex yesterday, Im taking more and getting some sleep.  Well, at least it gives me 2hrs of pf tiime.  So anyway, I feel a little better today, at least I blasted my high kips with trex last night and dont feel so much like I got my ass kicked.  I am still not sure what I am going to do.  If I had courage, I would go and throw away all of the trex in my cabinet to get rid of the temptation.  lol   

   I truly want to thank you all for your suggestions, and kind words.  I nearly had a breakdown yesterday,  and being a typical woman, I was trying not to burden my family and husband too much.  Well, I realzed I should take some support where I can get it.  whether it be on clusterbusters, ch.com, fb, or most especially, at home from my family. 

     Im still not sure what im going to do about busting,  if I stay off the trex and meds, I can do it on sat.  then next friday after that. 

    thanks again guys.  everyone is the best most helpful people in the world.

[Ricardo]

For a long time I struggled with detox times.  O2 doesn't work at all for me so I found it really hard to go a full 5 days for a long time.

Eventually I stopped torturing myself and if I had to take trex, I took trex.  I have no idea how many busts I have done now where I took trex sometimes even less than 24 hours before busting and still had the bust effective.  I would guess more than 20 at least...  For me it seems like small amounts not that often do not stop an effective bust for me.  I try like hell not to take it at all, and when I have to I take as little as possible, but when I do I just kinda shrug and say "oh well".  Rarely do I actually change my busting schedule to get farther away from a time that I have done Trex.  Large amounts or taking it too often DOES seem to interfere with the busting capabilities for me.

Another factor in my situation is that I take larger amounts than most folks.  I would not be surprised if large amounts could wash out any leftover Imitrex hanging around in your receptors...This could be a factor in Trex not stopping my busts.

-Ricardo

[chrisw]

thats great ricardo,  now i dont feel like everything is lost.  But I do however have a very limited supply.  although I may have found a new supplier.  anyway.  here I go,  on a new day,,  med free,   first though gotta call and order a new tank.

:-*

[Bejeeber]

That's a heck of an interesting angle you have there with the small doses of trex in proximity to busts, Ricardo.

Question: Do you recall ever going a full 5 days detox before a bust? I (and if so was the bust any more effective than usual?)

And chrisw, is it safe to assume you're just injecting "partial" but effective doses of trex in the 2mg / 3mg range, not what amounts to a completely unnecessary overdose of an entire 6 mg syringe per abort?

[Ricardo]

Do you recall ever going a full 5 days detox before a bust? I (and if so was the bust any more effective than usual

Quite a few.  Most of my busts these days in-particular have been at least 5 days, sometimes going up to 2 weeks trex free.  The busts that I had after waiting longer amounts of time did not seem much different in the long run.  Biggest thing that seems to ruin a bust for me is if I take Trex 3 days in a row, even a half shot.  One day or two and it doesn't surprise me if it still works.  I've had so many times now where I thought it wasn't going to work but used the mushrooms as abortives and found a clear lasting busting effect that I just do them and don't worry about it. 

I really would not be surprised if the reason I have better luck with this is because I take such high dosages...

[Ajax]

If you have a good nuero can you get ketamine spray?  I don't know if it affects detox, but if it doesn't it could get you to your next bust.  It works!

[Bejeeber]

ketamine spray

Thank you for piping in about that Ajax - I know I needed the reminder, as I've been hearing good things about it from you and others, but it slipped me brain.

The busts that I had after waiting longer amounts of time did not seem much different in the long run.

This is getting interestinger and interestinger.

[blueballs]

This is getting interestinger and interestinger.

lmao

[chrisw]

Wow,  maybe all is not lost.  I have taken two and a half full doses of  trex. broken up into 5 small doses.  I was determined to stop , then got slammed at work, no o2.  I never get hit like that, and i am sure its from the imitrex, rebounding.  I dont usually take trex very often.  I stick to o2, and verap, pred, etc. 

    Maybe if i can just wait till friday or so, i can still bust, as long as i can stay off the trex.   

Ricardo,  you have given me hope 

[chrisw]

Its amazing that 5 single days can feel like decades!!!!!

[Bejeeber]

"When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute -- then it's longer than any hour. That's relativity!"    - Albert Einstein

[chrisw]

forget about it.  Ill have to get back to it another time.  I cant take this anymore.  I am going back on the meds.  Getting hit everryhour on the hour and o2 is taking at least 40 min to help.  I used over half a full tank in less than 12 hrs.  Verapamil here I come.  I think I am too deeply entrenched in this for the trip to pull me out anyway.  Thanks for the support though.   :'(

[Tony Only]

Detox walk is long and hard. Though it's only a few days.

On your next attempt, gather as much helpers as you can. Good luck.

[alleyoop]

Chris,

I have been "stuck" on 480mg of verap for years, and thanks to a few strategies, including but not limited to busting and D3, this former 10+ yr chronic has now been pf for over 16 mos.

I tried any number of times to sloooowly taper off of verap, with no success.  It used to be the CH ramping up  that would defeat me, but now I am unable to taper due to my blood pressure.

Just saying, that IMHO, if you try to avoid the 3 biggies -- opiates, prednisone & imitrex/imitran, you may eventually, like me, get your life back too!

[Clusterman59]

You are in quite a vicious cycle Chris and the meds your taking have a tendency to cause severe rebounds, more severe,  more frequent, longer lasting CH's and make you highly dependent which is the case for many sufferers.

I was in this cycle too and so happy I am now off all CH meds for 7 months now and just busted over 10 days ago and have been pf since. I have had great success with the D3 regimen but I know it and busting doesn't work for everybody just the large majority. 80 % for D3 regimen and over 90% for busting both of which are better than any med offered to us by the medical profession both being with little to mild or no side affects.

I understand the D3 regimen did not work for you but there are ways to tweak it to make it work more efficient and should be given 100% effort and don't give it up if you are in the pain free numbers of between 60 and 110 ng/ml and not getting relief but try modifying the rest of the regimen like trying 400mg magnesium for example and vitamin A and K2 and if it still doesn't work you need to talk to Batch and also you may need to see an endocrinologist for more answers. I had switched D3 brands and chose a discount brand and paid for it as it apparently was grossly deficient in how much D3 was actually in the doses and got hammered 5 days in a row.

That's when I had the opportunity to bust and it was successful after 1 gm per day for 4 days straight. I have stopped the D3 regimen to see how long the busting lasts but do plan to continue it as it has great health benefits regardless of helping CH.

My whole point is I'm CH free and CH med free and these alternatives and dropping all CH meds were the best thing I have ever done since my first attack in 1973 and being chronic about 95% of this entire time. Don't give up!! Try again and go ahead and bust in three days if that's as far as you can make it getting hit so bad as you have been warrants it. It is worth trying no matter what! Go for it girl!! We are with you....