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I'd say go and get some Professional Help my friend,

Sorry to hear of this @Snowflake. Of course @Shaun brearley has called attention to a best immediate course of action.

Hey @Snowflake. Sorry to hear of the rough go at things! As for mental disorders, understand that they can manifest late in some unfortunate folks.. While late 20's is the most common, late teens are subject as well. As @Bejeeber and @Shaun brearley have expressly stated it may be time to sit with a professional. No one should have to deal with feeling like they are not in control of their own feelings or as if the feelings they are having don't belong to them. Your mention of not being in the "Driver's Seat", Folkes noticing a change in your behavior and the feeling of being watched are a bit of a red flag that something is out of balance (possibly a chemical imbalance) (Not uncommon). None of these things are incurable, but are best dealt with by professionals which we are not. We are all here, ready to help should you need.

Are you in your late 20's? That is usually when stuff like schizophrenia starts to show up.