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How Do You all Stay Happy People??


BoscoPiko
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I don't know about all of you but I'm having an extremely hard time staying happy through this. I've had this brain malfunction for just a bit over a year and a half and I feel like it's robbed so much from me in such a short time. I've nearly stopped believing in depression and just think it must be something that happens to someone that gets overwhelmed by something that hurts them super bad and they can't find a solution to it... I grew up around horses but never could afford them. I always vowed to not be poor as an adult worked hard not to be so I'm comfortable and have had horses for years now. I love the escape of riding but now I feel like I can barley make it out to the facility to groom my most awesome reining mare let alone give her the time she deserves (I may just be being a sap because I've been in a bad cycle for a month now). I had also been taking boxing for about a year and just started to like it but I have had to put a pause on that and am hoping my muscle memory will kick in (I am not one or those girls that worry about buff arms) I like my arm bulges! I have noticed that I just get sad so much .. How do you all stay happy????     

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Happens to most of us if not all. I feel mean, sad angry and I lash out at people all the time. My wife will sometimes remind me that im being an ass and kind of bring it to my attention but she understands why I am this way. As far as staying happy? I just kind of think about the ones I love and I am thankful that this is all happening to me and not them. I can deal with this my own way but if someone else had clusters then I would be one of the ones who just didn't get it.  I know it will pass in a few days or weeks and I will feel better again. I am chronic so I have forgotten what it is like to be pain free for more than a day but I do have days that are better then others and I try to enjoy them. 

Depending no your location you may be picking up some sort of allergy from being out with your horses. you might want to look into the vitamin D3 by our member here know as XXX. I am sorry if you posted about this already and I missed it but how else are you dealing with your clusters?

Coming on this site and venting about how your feeling is huge! people here understand and will help you figure it out. 

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I wish there was a one size fits all answer to this question but these forums are a Godsend.  I am episodic so in all honesty it is probably easier for me and I find being grateful for my CH case compared to many others helps me through because my heart truly breaks for those who suffer much worse.

My husband is very supportive so that makes a difference and I try to focus on my hobbies of working out and reading (obviously reading is not possible when the beast is lurking).  My job keeps me very busy too so maybe trying to stay busy can help you?  Maybe you can find other clusterheads where you live?  I personally never met another one but would like to.

 I wish I could help more but wanted to reply so you know you are not alone.

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BoscoPiko,

Odd as it sounds, we get you.  I try to be soft, yet I know my natural state is pretty gruff.  I figure if I practice nice long enough that it'll become my natural state.  I don't know if it's CH or other things in life (or the combination).  I don't recall if you're busting or not?  I've found (as most others I think), that busting comes with it other positive affects on our personalities.  I haven't really felt happy in a long time.  That seems odd to say.  Get through this cycle and I promise you'll feel better.  Your horse is ready for a long run when you've kicked your CH beast to the corner.

Cheers,

J

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Thank you all and sorry for being and ass. I'm in CA and we have a huge fire going on so the air quality is super bad and I'm wondering if that is causing this cycle to last soooo long? It's just depressing that's all. I've never met anyone with cluster and yes I do have hobbies like I mentioned I love to workout and ride but if I am having a "headache" I literally can only rock back and forth and try and control my feet from kicking out with each spike...Not a good way to be on a horse lol. Anyhow thank you all again and sorry for being a jerk I have just been fighting with feeling sorry for myself I suppose... 

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You aren’t a jerk - just a cluster head in excruciating pain.  I am sure the wildfires and poor air quality are contributing to your suffering.  I am in the NorthEast but when we have weather issues (pressure spikes and drops, blizzards etc) it definitely plays a role.  You may want to consider buying an air filter for in your home.  My office at work is very stuffy etc and it has helped since we put a filter in to try to clean up the air.

We all feel this way in the midst of it.  My last episode all I could think was trying to make my way into the kitchen and find the knife block to use a Henckels to put myself out of my misery.

Be well and hang in there!

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The psychedelics used for preventing CH cycles can indeed also have the side effect of making you happier. Of course YMMV. Personally I'm convinced they've generally lightened my mood. And this "mushrooms make ya happy" deal is moving beyond conjecture, with all the scientific attention now being heaped upon the subject.

Like this bit from Web MD / New England Journal of Medicine / London Imperial College:

Study: 'Magic Mushrooms' May Be Best Drug for Depression

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5 hours ago, Ganuchi said:

You aren’t a jerk - just a cluster head in excruciating pain.  I am sure the wildfires and poor air quality are contributing to your suffering.  I am in the NorthEast but when we have weather issues (pressure spikes and drops, blizzards etc) it definitely plays a role.  You may want to consider buying an air filter for in your home.  My office at work is very stuffy etc and it has helped since we put a filter in to try to clean up the air.

We all feel this way in the midst of it.  My last episode all I could think was trying to make my way into the kitchen and find the knife block to use a Henckels to put myself out of my misery.

Be well and hang in there!

 

5 hours ago, Ganuchi said:

You aren’t a jerk - just a cluster head in excruciating pain.  I am sure the wildfires and poor air quality are contributing to your suffering.  I am in the NorthEast but when we have weather issues (pressure spikes and drops, blizzards etc) it definitely plays a role.  You may want to consider buying an air filter for in your home.  My office at work is very stuffy etc and it has helped since we put a filter in to try to clean up the air.

We all feel this way in the midst of it.  My last episode all I could think was trying to make my way into the kitchen and find the knife block to use a Henckels to put myself out of my misery.

Be well and hang in there!

Well I sure feel like one but thank you and I'm glad i read the other posts cause you lost me at Hencklels:) I've thought more of the Oregon assisted suicided thing as I'm not sure how clean a job I would with a knife. Anyhow you are sweet for being nice when I am full of mean. I guess I just want the old me back but I suppose that is a dead wish and I should find a new happy like the days I go spike free, they are just so little and my head has never been the same since the first time. I've never not had pain since the first one but just felt grateful that it wisent as bad as was it has been.. I don't know anymore.  

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1 hour ago, Bejeeber said:

The psychedelics used for preventing CH cycles can indeed also have the side effect of making you happier. Of course YMMV. Personally I'm convinced they've generally lightened my mood. And this "mushrooms make ya happy" deal is moving beyond conjecture, with all the scientific attention now being heaped upon the subject.

Like this bit from Web MD / New England Journal of Medicine / London Imperial College:

Study: 'Magic Mushrooms' May Be Best Drug for Depression

I want to but I'm too scared. I don't think my mind could handle it. I used to have such bad anxiety that I would pass out (prior to cluster) 10 years ago.. My mom had bad mental disorder offed herself in-front of a car. I don't  trust my brain to bust. IDK

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Understood about the major concern regarding possible negative effect of busting on mental health. Last I checked it can be a real risk, especially with family history, and is not to be taken lightly. 

Makes me wish even more for studies on non-hallucinogenic versions like BOL (which there currently is pretty much no availability of) to be undertaken in a big way, with the hope that besides there being great CH killing potential there (which we already pretty much know), it could also be shown to be effective at pushing the happy button. :)

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Look into RC seeds (Rivera Corymbosa seeds). They can do the trick and no tripping for most. You can order them online and have them in a few days, Grind them up in a pepper mill, soak them in some spring water for about an hour then drink them down.  They can work just as well as MM sometimes with less mind altering effects.  You can read all about them on this site by putting RC seeds in the search bar at the top of the page. 

I guess your doctor forgot to give you the jerk free pass card when they told ya you have clusters.. I got 2 of them and a card allowing me to be an ass twice a week. 

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'I guess your doctor forgot to give you the jerk free pass card when they told ya you have clusters.. I got 2 of them and a card allowing me to be an ass twice a week.' B) :D

Agreed, we all need at least one of these!!!! 

Bosco, we learn to laugh about it over time I think. Sort of laugh or cry? I'll take laugh any day. Let the anger about it out, scream to the heavens and then get on with life. I suspect it teaches us to value good times a lot more than many do and that is a gift to be savored.

Fun Times made a great suggestion regarding RC seeds too!!!

 

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8 hours ago, FunTimes said:

Look into RC seeds (Rivera Corymbosa seeds). They can do the trick and no tripping for most. You can order them online and have them in a few days, Grind them up in a pepper mill, soak them in some spring water for about an hour then drink them down.  They can work just as well as MM sometimes with less mind altering effects.  You can read all about them on this site by putting RC seeds in the search bar at the top of the page. 

I guess your doctor forgot to give you the jerk free pass card when they told ya you have clusters.. I got 2 of them and a card allowing me to be an ass twice a week. 

First laugh of the day! and thank you for the info

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

As far as how to stay happy on days like today (September 11) I realize how fortunate I am.  CH may be AWFUL but when we consider what others went through on this fateful day our own ailments seem less important.

 

May God Bless America 

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2 hours ago, Ganuchi said:

As far as how to stay happy on days like today (September 11) I realize how fortunate I am.  CH may be AWFUL but when we consider what others went through on this fateful day our own ailments seem less important.

 

May God Bless America 

Yes today is a good reminder that even with this monster in our head, there are worse things and fates indeed. 

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Happy is hard. I'm a mad at the word left hander with CH for almost 23 years. I guess after a long period of time it just becomes acceptance. Especially after multiple goals and dreams get crushed by CH. I still appreciate what I have because it's all relative. 

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3 hours ago, xBoss said:

Happy is hard. I'm a mad at the word left hander with CH for almost 23 years. I guess after a long period of time it just becomes acceptance. Especially after multiple goals and dreams get crushed by CH. I still appreciate what I have because it's all relative. 

Yes as you can see by my post I struggle with happy. I don't understand the term left hander? Anyhow appreciating what you have is a good thing.

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2 hours ago, BoscoPiko said:

Yes as you can see by my post I struggle with happy. I don't understand the term left hander? Anyhow appreciating what you have is a good thing.

Did you mean that you find yourself aquard? By the " left hander term" idk.. I'm all kinds strange. Maybe you did maybe you dident. All I can do is look from the outside. I guess what I do think I know is that anyone with CH is a champ for still being around. I have struggled for much less time than most on here and I'm hoping that maybe I'll get better at handling it like some of you on here. I've probably surffed the forums a bit much since finding this site and maybe not I'm still just walking around blind IMO. This it hard and I suppose I'm just doing what I can to coap, stay sane and talk to people like me.... I've asked myself a bunch of times why I couldn't have been in the 1% of folks that passed the hardest test known to human kind etc. But it really never made me feel any better. I did love and will hold onto something Spiny said "life is what happens in between the clusters " that comment hit me and as much as it stinks it makes sense for where I'm at in my life... 

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On a happy note... I had some life for 2 days between clusters f. Had a excercises pool Crain lifted over my house that I've been waiting for since November of 2020 on Friday and all went well. It was a little harry but how fun would it have been without a bit of a scare ..

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